Venting here to help keep my mouth shut IRL...

My sister's baby is 2 months old today (he was born 5 weeks early). He's doing great! She's been successfully breastfeeding, and not even using a nipple shield as she did with her older son. They did supplement a few times when he was younger because it seemed to them that he was still hungry after nursing.

Anyway, she had his 2-month checkup today and called me afterwards to tell me that he had doubled his birthweight and she was so proud. Yay for both of them! Then she proceeded to tell me that the doctor said he should be going longer between feedings now because he's still nursing every 2-3 hours, though longer stretches at night. And that the doctor said with summer approaching he'd need some water in addition to nursing and that she could "hold him off" with water to go longer between nursing sessions.

I literally had to put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from saying something. And thank goodness one of my kids started screaming and needed me so I had to get off the phone quickly. Anyway, I know everyone is different and I should respect others' opinions blah blah blah, but this is just plain WRONG and BAD ADVICE. This is the same pediatrician we started taking Solomon to, on my sister's recommendation, but switched because she gave bad advice like this (for us, it was try to keep him awake during the day at 2 weeks old so he'd sleep more at night, and try to go longer between feedings so he'd nurse for more than 5-10 minutes at a time).

I want to ask her what she'll do if he still seems hungry after having some water. She hasn't completely been nursing on demand, more of a every-3-hours-look-at-her-watch-and-"He's-due-to-nurse". The times when they supplemented were mostly at night when she'd nurse him, he'd still seem hungry after walking around with Daddy for a while so she'd nurse him again, and then he'd still be crying so they assumed he was hungry and gave him formula. Formula is not the devil if he needs it and I know not everyone cares as much about breastfeeding as I do, but it is very important to my sister AND she has other issues (medications) that I don't feel like getting into that have presented challenges of their own.

I wish she would ask my opinion so I could tell her, but if she doesn't I know I must keep my mouth shut. Venting here and to my husband helps a bit.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
I don't think i would be able to keep my mouth shut on this one especially since the advice from her ped is just plain wrong!

Kudos to you for trying to keep your mouth shut though i am just saying i dont think i could do the same in a situation like this.

I love feeding schedules for babies, so I really wouldn't have a problem with keeping my mouth shut. Other than the fact that babies don't really need water it doesn't necessarily sound like bad advice to me. I agree with holding off a 2 month old to try to get longer than 2 hours between nursings. If you do it a few minutes at a time, it's not traumatic for them. I used a pacifier for mine, to try to get them to stretch out the feedings. I also limited them to 5-10 minutes on each breast, because I turned to hamburger-nipples if it went longer than that. They became very efficient nursers.
That seems like such wierd advice. I probably would've said something, but now I wonder if the window has passed. My sister is pretty easy going, but if I start to over do it with my opinion she'll just stop me.
Why's that such bad advice?
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Why's that such bad advice?
Originally Posted by Phoenix
Babies don't really need water. Pixie (I don't really mean to speak on her behalf) and I breastfeed on demand, so I think it's so strange to us because if our baby is signaling that he's hungry, why not just offer breast milk? Water has no calories. It seems like a waste of a feeding to me to offer a baby water just to fend him off for an hour or whatever.
I hear what you are saying, BUT I don't see why you would not just say..."babies do not need water b/c..." Not an opinion, but true fact/advice

It just seems like old school advice. I seem to remember my mom asking me why DS did not drink water when he was little. Do I think it would hurt the baby? NO. But after having two babies who have had issues gaining weight, I cannot imagin giving them water over BM and Formula (although I am another on demand feeding person)



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Yeah, I don't think I would have kept my mouth shut about the water. That's not opinion, that is fact.

As far as the holding off a bit longer between feedings I would probably have said something along the lines of that it was OK to do if that was what she wanted, but that there was nothing wrong with a 2 month old eating every 2 or 3 hours either, and that the fact that the doctor said he "should" be going longer was not medical opinion that was backed up by any research but just a personal opinion.
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While I know babies dont need water...

Pixie you have to realize that most ob/gyns are old school. They will recommend things that YOU know better about but they probably don't. They go to school...do what they have to...then practice. There aren't yearly updates/classes they have to take to give them updates on new studies, etc.

Also I agree w/RCW. While it didn't bother you to breastfeed on demand alot of women/people (myself included) thrive on schedules. Had I not made a schedule a part of my day I would have been emotionally distant and much less available and productive than I was as a mother to my infants/toddlers.

While you might disagree you really need to be less judgemental of others decisions. It's her kids and what works for her...not you.
High Priestess JessMess, follower of the Goddess of the Coiling Way and Confiscator of Concoctions in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

I totally get what you're saying pixie. The problem is here is that people tend to take a doctor's word as 100% gospel at all times. After all, he's a doctor. But thats not the real world. Things change. People didn't use to put kids in carseats either, and giving water to a 2 month old is truly DANGEROUS.

Personally, I'm an on demand nurser myself, still on demand to my 2 year old, I never expected convenience when i had a baby.
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Even though it's fact and not my opinion, I try really hard not to give unsolicited advice AT ALL because parenting has always been a touchy subject between us. She knows I'm more knowledgeable than she is about breastfeeding, so if she wants my opinion she'll ask.

I started thinking more about it and my suspicion is that my sister complained to the ped about him still nursing every 2-3 hours, and then the ped said he could be going longer between feedings, and that's why she suggested the water. I just can't imagine my sister saying everything was going great, and then the doctor saying he should go longer for no reason.

Jess, she's pretty much on a schedule now anyways. I think she thinks she's nursing on demand, but she definitely watches the clock for the 3-hour mark.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
While I know babies dont need water...

Pixie you have to realize that most ob/gyns are old school. They will recommend things that YOU know better about but they probably don't. They go to school...do what they have to...then practice. There aren't yearly updates/classes they have to take to give them updates on new studies, etc.
Originally Posted by Jess the Mess
There actually are.

***

But what I don't understand is why you don't just casually share your opinion w/ your sister? Why do you feel you need to bit your tongue, hold back, keep your mouth shut, vent, etc.?

"Oh, that's what he said? Coz I just read blahblahblah. Do you want the article? No biggie either way."
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Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 06-16-2010 at 11:12 AM.
I agree that babies don't really need water, but it's not a terrible thing to give a baby water.

As far as feeding on demand, I did not do that, nor do I plan to with this baby. I see nothing wrong with getting a baby on a schedule. My first daughter, who as many of you know, was a 29 weeker, was fed on a 4-hour schedule. She flourished, and was one of the most content babies I've ever known.

While I personally think it's best to breastfeed on demand, my problem isn't really about the "schedule". As I said, my sister pretty much already does nurse on a schedule. What my problem was - and maybe this is more in the way my sister worded it when she told me - was that the pediatrician said he should be going more than 2-3 hours between feedings, not that he could. As if there was something wrong with a two-month-old nursing every 2-3 hours. Heck, my 2.5-year-old still nurses that often sometimes! There's nothing wrong or uncommon about that. I think a lot of women read "every 2-3 hours" in books and then freak out when their baby wants to nurse more often, and they think they're not making enough milk, and they end up supplementing, so their supply does in fact drop, etc etc. When if women had realistic expectations they may have just accepted that their baby needed to nurse more frequently.

And to all the people who think I could/should have said something... it's complicated with me and my sister. If I don't make a concerted effort to keep my mouth shut sometimes, I can come across as a know-it-all. I know this about myself, and try to show her respect by letting her parent her own way and listen to what her doctor says.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
I didn't get much farther than the ped suggesting she give the baby water to hold him off of feeding for a while.

With my first I was all about schedules. With the second I realized that was bunk, and I did away with all schedules. Nursing and sleeping was on demand - even though I wouldn't call it on demand because I nursed her before she even fully woke up, or asked for it, so D2 didn't really cry until she was a few months old.

I would've had to say something, but I'm sure I'm a lot more in your face than you are.

And no, ob/gyn's do not have to take updated classes. They do not have to take newborn respitory classes, or update themselves on stuff like that. Nurses have to constantly take classes and update themselves on new procedures and such.
And no, ob/gyn's do not have to take updated classes. They do not have to take newborn respitory classes, or update themselves on stuff like that. Nurses have to constantly take classes and update themselves on new procedures and such.
Originally Posted by iroc
In this state, the law requires that ALL medical doctors perform at least 50 hours of continuing ed per every two years to keep their medical licenses current. All states have pretty similar requirements.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

While I was teaching Yoga last night, my husband brought our boys over to see my mom. Apparently she told him that my sister's pediatrician said that since the baby is growing SO well, he must be overnursing, so maybe that's why she said he "should" be going longer between feedings. OK, he was 5lb-something at birth and 11lb-something now at 2 months - right around the 50th percentile. COMPLETELY AVERAGE. The reason he was so small at birth was because he was 5 weeks early! And now that he's "caught up" apparently he's nursing too much? Which, BTW, isn't really possible. You can't force a baby to nurse if he's not hungry.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
SL - ya, I'm sure it would be different state to state.


Pixie, as I'm sure you know, breastfed babies tend to be little chunkers w/in the first couple of months. But after about 6 months, they slim down. And breastfed babies have a less chance of being obese when they get older.

My babies were such little boobie-babies. They were attached all the time. They were little breastfed chunkers when they were about 4 and 5 months old. But breastfed fat is usually different than formula fed fat. They eventually metabolize it when their body doesn't need so much fat protection anymore.

It's pretty much common sense if you let it come naturally and don't overthink it.
It sounds like she either A) misheard (which is easy to do when you have a baby in tow) B) got bad advice or C) might be sick of BFing and want a little break.

Callie was a little under 7 lbs at birth and came home at around 6.5 lbs. By 2 weeks she was 8 and by 4 months she was over 14 lbs. from what I can recall. She was in the 90th percentile and the dr. never told me to stop/push back her feeds. She did not even eat all the often, she was a cluster feeder though (she did STTN early) and still gained the weight. While I did feed on demand, I would look at the clock a lot just to make sure she was eating atleast every 3 hours (so I would not lose my supply but that happened anyways eventually) during the first 2 months.

I do have a great dr. who did not put her on formula or meds or anything when she started losing weight and helped me find a reason to why she was not gaining instead of a quick fix. And my dr. is an older dr. who is the head of the practice.



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