need to vent

Korbin is so stubborn and sensitive, and it's driving me crazy. He gets so set on something if there's the slightest alteration he's running to his room crying. He can take the simplest thing and turn it into some huge ordeal.

the latest fit, acting like he can't put his shoes on. He does it all the time. But if we're actually going out, then he won't. It doesn't matter where we're going. That boy would turn down a trip to disney land rather than put his shoes on by himself.

And lately, he can.not.shut.up. constant talking, jabbering, random noises. Seriously I have not had a full minute of silence during his waking hours in days. I actually banned grunting in the house yesterday. I just couldn't take it anymore.

I need a vacation.
Sounds like you need some mommy time!
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I hear ya.

I just sent my DS away with Grandma and Auntie. I'm hoping they decide to do a surprise sleepover and don't bring him back until tomorrow... or next month.

That just leaves me with the other child. She goes to bed early and then I'm busting out the wine.


How old is he?

I have a 4.5 year old chatter box. It is endless. There are days my ears just get tired.
I hear you on the chatterbox. Both my kids never stop talking. My daughter is the worst. I swear if I didn't ask her for silence she would never, ever stop.

When she was 2 & 3 I had a really hard time with her. She would run away from any adult that spoke to her, she cried at the drop of a hat, she hid under tables, etc. It was hard but I'm happy to tell you it was just a phase and it passed. Sometimes I really felt overwhelmed.

I'm sorry. Find some time to be alone and decompress. You deserve it!
High Priestess JessMess, follower of the Goddess of the Coiling Way and Confiscator of Concoctions in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

CGNYC-he'll be 5 in Sept.

I think we both need time away from each other. I think we're getting on each other's nerves. He's been passively defiant. Like he'll start tapping a pencil, and I'll ask him to stop. Not 10 seconds after I turn my back he'll start up again. And the process will repeat until I take the pencil away.

He's also been really hyper lately. I have to tell him to stop running, and jumping so many times a day it's not even funny.

Nothing seems to get to him stop doing anything long term right now.

So I think a trip to the park and/or a play date with my sister is in order, if I can get him to behave long enough. We've had to cancel fun things because of him pulling stuff like the shoe problem many times.

I realize it's just a phase. I'm just trying to ride it out and keep my sanity.
CGNYC-he'll be 5 in Sept.
Originally Posted by cympreni
He's exactly the same age as my son.

Did you happen to see the "My 4.5 year old is driving me to drink" thread further down the page? LOL

Its frustrating because just as they get old enough to be self-sufficient and sensible and generally useful, they start to use their powers for evil instead of good.


I feel kinda bad now. So I just need to say, normally he's the sweetest little boy ever. He's very thoughtful. You can never give just him a treat, he won't have it. He makes sure there's enough for everyone or he won't take it. he's always helping out, and giving me presents.

We just seem to butt heads like this every few months, and it takes a little while to break out of it.
CGNYC-he'll be 5 in Sept.

I think we both need time away from each other. I think we're getting on each other's nerves. He's been passively defiant. Like he'll start tapping a pencil, and I'll ask him to stop. Not 10 seconds after I turn my back he'll start up again. And the process will repeat until I take the pencil away.

He's also been really hyper lately. I have to tell him to stop running, and jumping so many times a day it's not even funny.

Nothing seems to get to him stop doing anything long term right now.

So I think a trip to the park and/or a play date with my sister is in order, if I can get him to behave long enough. We've had to cancel fun things because of him pulling stuff like the shoe problem many times.

I realize it's just a phase. I'm just trying to ride it out and keep my sanity.
Originally Posted by cympreni
My question to you: Are there consequences? How soon are the consequences involved. What I found with my children (4 of them - now 20, 18, 10 and was that I had to have a consequence, follow through immediately (no waiting, counting or anything - immediately) and not back down. Tapping a pencil? I will ask for that to stop once. If they do it again, the pencil is taken away now. Running? I ask to stop once. If they continue to run, they must sit right next to me for the next 15 minutes (an eternity to a kid). Of course mine would get up from the 15 and run again and they will find themselves sitting right there again for 20 this time. It's immediate and I've learned I can't wait on the consequences.

Oh - but I make sure that their need to move/make noise/be silly is met. If it's possible, I'll tell the kids instead of "stop running" to go run around the house 10 times (we have a quite a sprawling ranch). It helps to burn off that energy they have. They have plenty of time to play, be kids and have fun - but not at the expense of my sanity or our property (or others time/sanity/personal space/property).

Never say "it's a stage" because while it might be a stage, it's still not acceptable behavior. In our family, there's no excuse for bad behavior even if we're tired, cranky or PMSing. That goes for everyone including mom and dad. We never had bad stages even though the kids tried. LOL I just nipped them fast and hard. I guess something worked because when I dropped off my 18 year old at work today, she gave me a huge hug in front of everyone and said "I love you mommy!" out loud! LOL

Just a couple of thoughts on how I do things here. Take what you can.
I knew this was coming.

Yes there are immediate consequences every single time. Just because you do all the "right" things doesn't mean it's going to work every time for every kid. he's a little kid, power struggles happen. He's not being bad, he's just getting on my nerves.
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cympreni...don't be so hard on yourself. We all need to vent every now & then...nothing wrong w/ it...
I can def relate, as well. Being a mom is the hardest job ever! And as I tell folks, I can only handle one b/c I'm a wimp! I'm sure you're doing a great job
I knew this was coming.

Yes there are immediate consequences every single time. Just because you do all the "right" things doesn't mean it's going to work every time for every kid. he's a little kid, power struggles happen. He's not being bad, he's just getting on my nerves.
Originally Posted by cympreni
OK. I'm sorry if I offended you. It's just that I hear SO often "My child doesn't listen" but then when I see it in action, the mother doesn't make sure the child hears them. Just yesterday there was a little girl at the pool who NEVER listened to her mom "Don't go near the pool without your floatie" (mom and lifeguard had to jump in to get her) "Don't go in the deep end" (child had floatie on and still went in), "Come over here NOW" (and child ran in the men's room - mom laughed) - then she came to me later and asked how I got my kids to listen to me because I called them to come out of the pool and they did. OY!!

I totally understand where you're coming from. With each of my children (especially my strong-willed independent one), there was a time I wanted to rip my hair out or run away. It's exhausting but putting time into your kids is SO worth it. Good luck and sometimes a nice movie out and a cup of coffee with a girlfriend does wonders.
I feel kinda bad now. So I just need to say, normally he's the sweetest little boy ever. He's very thoughtful. You can never give just him a treat, he won't have it. He makes sure there's enough for everyone or he won't take it. he's always helping out, and giving me presents.

We just seem to butt heads like this every few months, and it takes a little while to break out of it.
Originally Posted by cympreni
I hear ya. My 5 year old can be so sweet and affectionate. Always willing to share and thinking of others (to the point where I think he sometimes gets taken advantage of by other kids) but there are times when he definitely pushes his limits. That pencil tapping incident sounds like something Charlie would do. I'll tell him not to touch something and he'll just go right over and tap it with his index finger while looking right at me. It's like he's testing us.
And oh my, the non-stop talking. He's extremely social so he's not content playing by himself for any amount of time. He is CONSTANTLY on us ALL DAY LONG. I'll try to set him up with an art or craft project just to give myself a few minutes of peace and quiet and he'll insist I sit down and do it with him. Now that I have a newborn to care for too, it can be draining. I miss the days when he used to nap. Sigh.

DH and I pretty much bounce him off each other all day long just to give each other some breathing room. Some children are just exhausting. Last night I had one of those moments where I was about to pull my hair out if I heard the word "mom" one more time. I just keep telling myself that there will come a time (preteen, teenage years) when DH and I won't be the center of his universe and he won't want to be around us all the time and I'll probably look back on these days and miss them. So, I try (as patiently as I possibly can) to just enjoy it and make the best of it. I find myself taking a lot of deep breaths and counting to ten myself.
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I knew this was coming.

Yes there are immediate consequences every single time. Just because you do all the "right" things doesn't mean it's going to work every time for every kid. he's a little kid, power struggles happen. He's not being bad, he's just getting on my nerves.
Originally Posted by cympreni
Kids will sometimes just act like kids. There's no reason or rhyme to their behavior other than their brains aren't full formed yet and they're kids. They're still learning and growing.

Last edited by Speckla; 07-26-2010 at 05:28 AM.
CGNYC-he'll be 5 in Sept.

I think we both need time away from each other. I think we're getting on each other's nerves. He's been passively defiant. Like he'll start tapping a pencil, and I'll ask him to stop. Not 10 seconds after I turn my back he'll start up again. And the process will repeat until I take the pencil away.

He's also been really hyper lately. I have to tell him to stop running, and jumping so many times a day it's not even funny.

Nothing seems to get to him stop doing anything long term right now.

So I think a trip to the park and/or a play date with my sister is in order, if I can get him to behave long enough. We've had to cancel fun things because of him pulling stuff like the shoe problem many times.

I realize it's just a phase. I'm just trying to ride it out and keep my sanity.
Originally Posted by cympreni
Sometimes when I'm irritated w/my kids I have to remember that they probably get tired of me too. My DD has been in the house w/me all week. We have no AC. Yesterday she had such a little attitude and I was so frustrated with her. I then realized that I had had an attitude all day too. The heat and the lack of things getting done because of it had me grumpy. We just sat down and talked about it and apologized to eachother. She's 10 so that works for us.

You'll work it out. And you're allowed to have these feelings. Being a mom isn't all sunshine and roses all the time.
High Priestess JessMess, follower of the Goddess of the Coiling Way and Confiscator of Concoctions in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

Is there something about that age? We took my niece to the local waterpark yesterday and I was at the point of hardly being able to stand her during the trip. She talks constantly and it seems she never, EVER listens or follows direction. And then as soon as I am thinking OK, if this is just how kids are, I better not have another cause one will be more than enough for me, she turns into an angel child and is so sweet and considerate, offering me things or trying to help in a way that actually IS a help with Ava. She turned 5 in March and has been this way for several months now.

I agree with others that it sounds like you need "mommy time." Hope this phase passes soon
Jess I think your right. He is so much like me it's not even funny.

I've been really irritable lately, and I think he's throwing it right back at me. ETA: thats why I started feeing bad. I started to realize I was egging it on.

I've been making an effort to be more lighthearted today and break the current cycle. So far so good.

Last edited by cympreni; 07-18-2010 at 06:29 PM.
Jess I think your right. He is so much like me it's not even funny.

I've been really irritable lately, and I think he's throwing it right back at me. ETA: thats why I started feeing bad. I started to realize I was egging it on.

I've been making an effort to be more lighthearted today and break the current cycle. So far so good.
Originally Posted by cympreni
I find it helps kids to talk to them about what you are thinking with regards to what's going on. Like in this case, it's great to say "Honey. I know we both were kind of getting cranky yesterday and I didn't like it one bit. Did you? Well, why don't we try to figure out how we can change that and make an effort to be nicer to each other and to try to change our cranky feelings." It will help them to know how to begin to recognize their feelings and to manage them. Just one more step in parenting....
Jess I think your right. He is so much like me it's not even funny.

I've been really irritable lately, and I think he's throwing it right back at me. ETA: thats why I started feeing bad. I started to realize I was egging it on.

I've been making an effort to be more lighthearted today and break the current cycle. So far so good.
Originally Posted by cympreni
I am glad things are better.

Four-year-olds must be planning a takeover, mine has also been driving me crazy. Didn't have a chance to respond to ms thread, but it sounded familar, too.

Also, cympreni, I was going to do a shout-out to you in the other forum, and I will, but is that a bearded dragon in your avatar? Is it yours?
Jess I think your right. He is so much like me it's not even funny.

I've been really irritable lately, and I think he's throwing it right back at me. ETA: thats why I started feeing bad. I started to realize I was egging it on.

I've been making an effort to be more lighthearted today and break the current cycle. So far so good.
Originally Posted by cympreni
I am glad things are better.

Four-year-olds must be planning a takeover, mine has also been driving me crazy. Didn't have a chance to respond to ms thread, but it sounded familar, too.

Also, cympreni, I was going to do a shout-out to you in the other forum, and I will, but is that a bearded dragon in your avatar? Is it yours?
Originally Posted by ruralcurls
Don't say that. We'd have no chance if all the 4-year olds got together! All the channels would show only spongebob 24/7.

Bolded: Yeah, that was my Sokar. He died last month. I got 2 other cute babies to take my mind off it though. Well one's cute, the other is pure evil. You can tell just by looking at him he's plotting something. I bet he's conspiring with my son, that's it!

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