BrettyU

I think you are both absolutely right rainshower spoke more to my feelings on a purely emotional level but that takes nothing away from my hubby as bugeyez and coilynapp pointed out. I just think both experiences of loss are completely different. For my hubby it's the future/ prospect of that life he's mourning. I am grieving for the lives of my children. Rainshower put it perfectly I felt that life growing there was a physical force within me that unfortunately my husband will never understand. It's almost as if he can't feel the way I do for a little person who was "never here" the only loss we felt on the same page for was our daughter. Neither of us feels more or less (although sometimes it feels that way) it's just different.

Spider

So sorry for your loss and heartache BrettyU, my first, very unplanned (birth control + antibiotics) pregancy ended in miscarriage and I still remember the worry I had wondering if it would continue to happen when I was ready and wanting to have a family.

Have your doctors said anything about the causes of the miscarriages/stillbirth? So many things that could be going on and until there is some research or treatment, your outcome could continue to yield the same results, no matter how much you and your DH try otherwise.

Sometimes it's not he man or woman that decides how many children the couple will have- it's nature.

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Don't let your heart be broken. Let it love.

Like.Australia

I agree with you, Spider, but I think this way of thinking may be flawed in a case where the husband doesn't understand that the wife doesn't want to test nature anymore. At that point, he has to understand what the wife is feeling/saying to him and respect what she wants to do.

I do agree, Bretty, that if do decide to keep trying, you should talk to your doctor to try to find out the cause of your miscarriages. While there is no obvious cause for the majority of miscarriages, it may be beneficial for you to get checked out for your own peace of mind. I hope that, whatever you decide, you are able to enjoy the son you do have and focus on the wonderful little family you already have.

BrettyU

Honestly my son is what's holding me together, he is the most perfect little person. He is exactly what I dreamed my children would be like in one little person. I actually put my career on hold to be a full time mom. I would be more than content with pouring all my love into him he's my buddy.