My friend's VBAC story

Like Tree2Likes
  • 1 Post By RedCatWaves
  • 1 Post By iris427

Thora the Bee: And Then There Were Four

A little background. She wanted a homebirth with her first, but her platelet count was too low so she risked out. Then her midwife pulled the "She's really big enough and besides I am going on vacation soon" crap before she was even 39 weeks and sent her to acupuncture to get labor started. It worked "sorta", she was in HARD but unproductive labor for 5 days (I saw her during that time, it was no joke), ended up at the hospital, and not making progress there (stuck in a bed and with nurses making negative comments, duh) so finally had epidural, pitocin, yadda yadda yadda. By the time she was fully dilated she was so exhausted after 5 days of hell she could not push so she opted for a section rather than forceps because she figured better risk herself than the baby.

Got a different midwife second time around and got what she wanted.
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
That was a beautiful story.

Thank you for sharing her story with us.

Mix of 3s, thick, coarse, medium porosity

Current hair styling technique: rake with a scrunch at the end. (works with my coarse hair)

http://public.fotki.com/curlymix/
pw: curls

Known HGs: KCCC, homemade fsg, honey
How wonderful! I related so much to her story. And I love how she ended the post with a simple "I did it!" Because she really did do it. And so many women can do it too, they just don't know it. Birth works.
I thought you'd relate, RCW
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
As someone who was in her shoes just a few months ago, I'm very happy for her.

I'm happy for your friend and for all that enjoy the homebirth experience.

I don't think I would, I can't describe why. Maybe due to the "what if there's an emergency" fear, to knowing I'd have to clean up the mess and I'd never enjoy a relaxing bath the same again I think I'm be more comfortable in a hospital where I don't have to worry about my environment nor every have to see the people assisting ever again, just have the baby and then go home to recover and bond.

I so admire those that can manage to push a 8ish pound human baby out with no numbing of pain, yes I get that that's what our bodies are supposed to do and it's been done that way for thousands and thousands of years, but there is something to be said for medical and technological advances and that if we don't have to feel like our insides are being ripped out, why do it?

I'm not a weenie,but it's more the anticipation, fear and anxiety I would experience instead of something to take the edge off so perhaps I could "enjoy" the miracle of birth a bit more.

When DS was born by emergency csection 8 weeks early and spent 5 weeks in NICU, I was so very fearful that the bonding would be difficult, but it's been quite the opposite and there were no immediate or long term issues with nursing, bonding, or his growth. However had I gone to term and he were born vaginally and with no medical team, he may not have survived.

I still enjoy reading about all the different birth stories, a new baby and excited family is such a miracle.
Don't let your heart be broken. Let it love.
Homebirth is not for everyone, nor is unmedicated birth. Certainly if just the anticipation of labor pain causes fear and anxiety, then you should choose meds. Just be informed about the risks.

that if we don't have to feel like our insides are being ripped out, why do it?
Just to address this, I did not feel like my insides were being ripped out. It was no walk in the park but it was not that bad and certainly not a violent feeling like insides ripped out implies.
For me personally, the idea of being numb and immobile and helpless caused much more fear and anxiety than the idea of pain. Me personally, I will take the pain (especially since it is a different, bearable type of pain). That's why I did it. That and the fact that both the effects of the meds and the decreased mobility can have negative effects on the progress of labor, and lead to increased caesareans, which I wanted to avoid.

That's just me. If you feel differently I won't think you are a weenie. Everyone has different tolerances and different comfort zones.

I know that women who are passionate about birth issues get accused of being judgy and fanatical and thinking that some births are better than others. I think people get so passionate because the medical establishment really is so set on everyone doing it the same way, and if you want to deviate from it at all you are treated as crazy or stupid or a radical hippie or something.
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
What a wonderful story!! I could relate to quite a few things.
I'm happy for your friend and for all that enjoy the homebirth experience.

I don't think I would, I can't describe why. Maybe due to the "what if there's an emergency" fear, to knowing I'd have to clean up the mess and I'd never enjoy a relaxing bath the same again I think I'm be more comfortable in a hospital where I don't have to worry about my environment nor every have to see the people assisting ever again, just have the baby and then go home to recover and bond.

I so admire those that can manage to push a 8ish pound human baby out with no numbing of pain, yes I get that that's what our bodies are supposed to do and it's been done that way for thousands and thousands of years, but there is something to be said for medical and technological advances and that if we don't have to feel like our insides are being ripped out, why do it?

I'm not a weenie,but it's more the anticipation, fear and anxiety I would experience instead of something to take the edge off so perhaps I could "enjoy" the miracle of birth a bit more.

When DS was born by emergency csection 8 weeks early and spent 5 weeks in NICU, I was so very fearful that the bonding would be difficult, but it's been quite the opposite and there were no immediate or long term issues with nursing, bonding, or his growth. However had I gone to term and he were born vaginally and with no medical team, he may not have survived.

I still enjoy reading about all the different birth stories, a new baby and excited family is such a miracle.
Originally Posted by Spider
I understand what you're saying. Many women feel that way about homebirth, because that's what the OB industry has taught them.

If you were to delve into the facts about homebirth, you'd find that for normal healthy women, homebirth is actually safer than hospital birth...fewer complications, better outcomes. As for "what if" questions...a qualified midwife can carry enough equipment to function the same as a level 1 hospital. I had no mess to clean up at my homebirth. The midwife did it all...and it wasn't all that messy to begin with. I've made bigger messes while cooking than I did while birthing.

Nothing is 100% safe, but if problems can be detected prenatally by an OB, they can also be detected by a midwife. Midwives are experts in normal birth, so anything abnormal would risk out of homebirth. Premature babies or babies with suspected health problems are better off being birthed in-hospital. A good homebirth plan also includes a plan to move to the hospital at any time if things are looking abnormal. It's supposed to work that way. A homebirth that results in a transport to hospital and a healthy outcome is not a failure. That's part of the plan.

As for pain...birth hurts, no matter what. Studies show that a woman's perception of pain after the fact is often greater when she's had an epidural than if she's had a natural birth. Meaning...women remember pain and seem to think it was worse if they've actually had pain meds than if they haven't. My natural birth was very painful, but it wasn't like ripping. And I enjoyed it immensely.

Medical advances have gotten us 50% c-section rates in some areas, with very little to show in return. Women and babies are no healthier now than they were when we had a 5% c-section rate.

But, like Geeky said, homebirth is not for everyone. Women should birth where they feel most comfortable.
Amneris likes this.
I'm happy for your friend and for all that enjoy the homebirth experience.

I don't think I would, I can't describe why. Maybe due to the "what if there's an emergency" fear, to knowing I'd have to clean up the mess and I'd never enjoy a relaxing bath the same again I think I'm be more comfortable in a hospital where I don't have to worry about my environment nor every have to see the people assisting ever again, just have the baby and then go home to recover and bond.

I so admire those that can manage to push a 8ish pound human baby out with no numbing of pain, yes I get that that's what our bodies are supposed to do and it's been done that way for thousands and thousands of years, but there is something to be said for medical and technological advances and that if we don't have to feel like our insides are being ripped out, why do it?

I'm not a weenie,but it's more the anticipation, fear and anxiety I would experience instead of something to take the edge off so perhaps I could "enjoy" the miracle of birth a bit more.

When DS was born by emergency csection 8 weeks early and spent 5 weeks in NICU, I was so very fearful that the bonding would be difficult, but it's been quite the opposite and there were no immediate or long term issues with nursing, bonding, or his growth. However had I gone to term and he were born vaginally and with no medical team, he may not have survived.

I still enjoy reading about all the different birth stories, a new baby and excited family is such a miracle.
Originally Posted by Spider
Everyone should give birth where they feel most at ease.

I've noticed it's a common misconception that if you have a homebirth, you have to clean up this huge mess. It's not like the midwife catches the baby and then leaves you sitting in a puddle with the placenta in one hand and a mop in the other! My birth attendants cleaned up for us, although it wasn't that messy anyway. All I had to do was throw out a few chux pads later.

As for the bolded, yes there is something to be said for modern medicine an it certainly has its place. But it's also important to remember that medical interventions carry risks and aren't appropriate in every situation. As someone who had a c-section, possibly caused by my epidural, I decided that my best bet for avoiding another c/s was to avoid an epidural with my second labor. I don't think labor felt like my insides were being ripped out. It hurt, but I was able to cope without an epidural and to me that was a lot better than having my insides literally being cut open. I hope this may clarify one reason someone would chose to forgo pain meds.

Giving birth without pain meds isn't for everyone but it's not crazy either. And please don't mistake natural birth advocacy for discounting the times when babies should be born by cesarean with lots of medical intervention. No one is saying that was not appropriate for your son's birth.

Amneris likes this.

I agree you have to do what is most comfortable for you. My first birth was full of a host of necessary medical interventions due to my son's heart condition. With my daughter I had one intervention I opted for (epidural). With my second son I labored at home, got to the hospital (birthing center) and had him one hour later without any interventions.

I do not feel any of my labors were worse that the others. I value each experience, and I am glad I had the ability to choose and make the decisions of what I wanted.



Come swag with me!
Good for her!

My natural labours also did not feel like someone was ripping out my insides. The second labour was much faster and more intense so it was closer to that feeling, but only at the very end for maybe 2 or 3 minutes. Neither time did it feel like someone was tickling me, but it wasn't the worst pain of my life by any means and it always felt manageable.

I also think that people tend to set up a home-hospital dichotomy for natural vs. medicated birth. You can have a non-medicated hospital birth - I did. The hospital increases your chances of interventions but by no means guarantees that you will have them. You can be uncomfortable with birthing in your home and still do it without drugs and avoid a section.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











I also think that people tend to set up a home-hospital dichotomy for natural vs. medicated birth. You can have a non-medicated hospital birth - I did. The hospital increases your chances of interventions but by no means guarantees that you will have them. You can be uncomfortable with birthing in your home and still do it without drugs and avoid a section.
Originally Posted by Amneris

It's not a set up. That dichotomy is there naturally. Most hospitals do not allow women to labor outside their set protocol without interventions, therefore, any woman who dares to labor longer than 8 or so hours will be subject to interventions and, therefore, will be at greatly increased risk of operative delivery and complications from them. It is physically NORMAL for humans to labor for 24, 36, even 48 hours. We evolved to survive (and thrive) with long labors. But long labors are, generally, not tolerated in hospital.

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:03 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com