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Old 03-11-2012, 04:08 PM   #1
 
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Default Not showing enough?

I know I should probably just ignore other people or take their advice and opinions with a grain of salt, but it's so hard. It seems like as soon as someone finds out you're pregnant, they immediately think it's okay to share unwanted advice or opinions. Some ladies at work found out on Friday that I am 17 weeks and they told me that I am not big enough and that I should be showing more at this time. I'm pretty sure this is completely different with everyone, but I can't help thinking about what they said. I know people that don't show as much as I do until they are much further along.

The four ladies who told me that I am too small also said they gained 50, 70, 75, and 80 pounds during their pregnancy. From week 9 to 13, I lost 5 pounds (which my doctor didn't seem to be too concerned about). I have been eating and never really got sick. I go back for my next appointment on Tuesday and I'm sure I have gained a little bit now. I asked my mom how much weight she gained and she said 25-30 with both me and my sister. I guess I just want some reassurance that I am normal. I don't even think I am that small right now! I posted a picture on the baby bump thread.
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Old 03-11-2012, 04:28 PM   #2
 
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I know I should probably just ignore other people or take their advice and opinions with a grain of salt, but it's so hard. It seems like as soon as someone finds out you're pregnant, they immediately think it's okay to share unwanted advice or opinions. Some ladies at work found out on Friday that I am 17 weeks and they told me that I am not big enough and that I should be showing more at this time. I'm pretty sure this is completely different with everyone, but I can't help thinking about what they said. I know people that don't show as much as I do until they are much further along.

The four ladies who told me that I am too small also said they gained 50, 70, 75, and 80 pounds during their pregnancy. From week 9 to 13, I lost 5 pounds (which my doctor didn't seem to be too concerned about). I have been eating and never really got sick. I go back for my next appointment on Tuesday and I'm sure I have gained a little bit now. I asked my mom how much weight she gained and she said 25-30 with both me and my sister. I guess I just want some reassurance that I am normal. I don't even think I am that small right now! I posted a picture on the baby bump thread.
I'm 19 weeks on Monday and very small still too. I think it's normal. I wasn't terribly sick first tri, am eating like crazy and am measuring fine at my appointments. Just try to ignore them.
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Old 03-11-2012, 04:49 PM   #3
 
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I was pretty small with my first baby until 21 weeks.... it was the week of my wedding and I had to have my dress refitted because all of a sudden, there was a belly! With my next 2 pregnancies, I had a small belly pretty much right away, but again I didn't really show until later on. As a matter of fact, I was able to conceal my 3rd pregnancy until 22 weeks. Everyone (and every pregnancy) is different, but I don't think what you are describing is atypical at all.

And congratulations on your pregnancy!
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Old 03-11-2012, 05:19 PM   #4
 
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I didn't look pregnant until I was 6 1/2 to 7 months pregant and I had only gained 14 lbs up to that point. I could fit into a size 7 jeans and still button and zip them. I was perfectly healthy and my doctor saw no problems with that. The baby was growing, I was eating enough, and we were both well. It also depends how you carry the baby. I carried low and more to the back.
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Old 03-11-2012, 06:43 PM   #5
 
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Thank you for the reassurance. The thing is, I am showing. Granted, it's not a lot, but there is a small baby bump. I need to just listen to my own advice and not listen to other people!
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Old 03-11-2012, 06:50 PM   #6
 
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Thank you for the reassurance. The thing is, I am showing. Granted, it's not a lot, but there is a small baby bump. I need to just listen to my own advice and not listen to other people!
Yep, I'm showing too. My MIL keeps telling me she "Wants to see more peanut!!!!!" next time I see her (). She's the worst offender so far (and she's driving me nuts). I think part of it is that I have fairly strong/tight abs, so nothing has "popped" yet and I have/had a retroverted uterus, so it's just not tilted out like some other women's. Don't worry about it unless your caregiver (doctor/midwife) says you should.
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Old 03-11-2012, 06:54 PM   #7
 
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I'm a nurse and it's really not the healthiest to gain 80lbs for a pregnancy. The healthy average is 20-25lbs of weight gain but that's text book. Everyone is different so don't pay them any mind. Next just nod your head and smile
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Old 03-11-2012, 08:17 PM   #8
 
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I wouldn't worry about what others say. Everyone is different. I didn't really look pregnant until about 20wks, and I gained about 30lbs my entire pregnancy. As long as you're healthy and your OB says all is good, that's all that matters. Congrats!
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Old 03-12-2012, 01:43 AM   #9
 
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Ditto to pretty much every post. With my first I had only fained 3 lbs by 17 weeks and didn't have a baby belly at all unless I was laying down. I made up for it later
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Old 03-12-2012, 07:40 AM   #10
 
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Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Don't worry about it when others make comments--every woman and every pregnancy is different. Your doctor/midwife will let you know if there's anything wrong with your weight gain or the baby's size. It's very common to lose weight in the first trimester. I just looked at your photo on the other thread, and you look perfectly cute and healthy for 17 weeks.

Also--this is the start of well-meaning friends, family, and acquaintances telling you that they know everything and you know nothing about pregnancy, childbirth, and child-rearing. This is a fine time to start tuning out unsolicited advice.
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Old 03-12-2012, 08:16 AM   #11
 
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One's weight or showy-ness alone is not a good indicator for if something is wrong. She checks for actual signs of problems or distress through regular checkups and by providing me with tools and information to make my own assessment. That's what matters.

And when people give you stink you can let them know how ignorant they are for suggesting that something is wrong based on their clearly uniformed opinion and how they are doing a disservice to pregnant women by doing so.
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Old 03-13-2012, 09:23 AM   #12
 
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As a 75 and 90 pound gainer who was wearing maternity tents at 2.5 months...gosh, I wish would have had your "problem!" LOL
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Old 03-13-2012, 09:56 AM   #13
 
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SarahMarie - I just posted a pic of myself at 19+1 in the baby bump thread. You're not alone.
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Old 03-15-2012, 08:34 PM   #14
 
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The appearance (or lack thereof) of a baby-bump means absolutely nothing. Some women "show" early, some late, some never do. Some women have deeper pelvises, and growth is just never going to show much on the outside. What matters is the uterus size and whether it's growing appropriately based on gestation. There is a rough screening that doctors/midwives do which is to measure the fundus (top of the uterus) from the pubic bone. That centimeter measurement should (roughly) equal weeks gestation (plus or minus 3 weeks/centimeters). If the uterine growth seems off, then further steps can be taken to assess fetal growth, such as ultrasound or whatever.

So, next time some dumbass says you're not showing properly, just answer with "My fundus is measuring properly, so it's probably just clothing or pelvis size that's throwing you off. I assure you I am properly pregnant." Then, smile and nod, and change the subject.
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Old 03-16-2012, 04:30 PM   #15
 
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If I had a dime for every piece of unsolicited advice and horror story I got when I was expecting, I'd probably be driving a Bentley right now. (In my frustration I even started a thread about it. Thanks to all that responded back then.)

I think in some cases, ladies use their own personal experiences as a "norm", so if you don't have the same experience then something is "wrong" with you.

You'll do best by following your own advice and all the good stuff the ladies said above and you'll be fine.

(My bump didn't become obvious until I was about 26 weeks btw.)
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Old 03-17-2012, 09:19 AM   #16
 
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Thank you again, everyone. I went to the doctor on Thursday for my appointment and she said that I am right where I'm supposed to be. I gained 2 pounds (I was a little worried about that since I lost 5 the time before...but it was the end of the first trimester). We have a 20 week ultrasound scheduled for April 2 and we also get to find out if baby is a boy or girl then. I am super excited!
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Old 03-18-2012, 07:00 PM   #17
 
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SarahMarie - I just posted a pic of myself at 19+1 in the baby bump thread. You're not alone.
I just posted my 26 week photo on the baby bump thread--I'm pretty sure I can still pass for not pregnant! And my baby has measured 4 days ahead on every US. People are full of it--don't listen to em!
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:42 AM   #18
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There is no proper amount to show. Everyone is different. As far as weight gain is concerned, it isn't mandatory to gain a lot of weight during your pregnancy. If your OB/GYN says you are healthy and progressing well then I wouldn't be concerned with anything else.
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Old 04-23-2012, 03:43 PM   #19
 
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Everyone is different! And if this is your first it usually takes a little longer to show with the first anyway. It took me having 3 to actually look like I was pregnant
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