How much responsibility do you give your kids?

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  • 1 Post By LoloDSM
  • 1 Post By LoloDSM

Kind of interested in parents of kids ages 7 and 4. LOL

Or if your kids are older, can you try to recall how mch you gave them at those ages?

I'm not trying to raise a pair of slugs! I want them to pitch in and help me out.

But not trying to heap too much on.

My 7 year old has always liked to help and work and (more recently) earn allowance. My 4 year old has always been lazy and, as the baby, likes getting everything done for him. I don't give him an alowance yet but I on't think that would motivate him at all, even if I did.

Both have to put their clothes away and pick up their toys.

Both have to empty their plate in the trashcan and put it in the sink.

7 yr old has to clean out the hamster cage. And every once in a while, make instant oatmeal or cold cereal for her and her brother if I'm running late.

This works pretty well for me.

But I get so frutrated that I have to constantly remind 7 yr old to bring her bookbag to school, and both of them not to leave their wet towels on the floor, not to leave her dirty clothes on the floor, to brush their teeth, to pee before we leave out, to wipe up a drink if it spills.

Am i expecting too much?

Do I really need to keep track of her bookbag and nag them both about brushing their own teeth??
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

Sounds like normal kids being kids!

In the morning I tell them to get dressed, brush their teeth, etc.

I pack their lunch and bags. This year, my 2nd grader is good at remembering her backpack, but last year I had to remind her everyday.

My 5 year old I have to tell her to do things a hundred times before they get done.

Sonedays I make them feed the animals. Somedays I just do it if I'm up first.

I make them clear their plates off the table. Throw their stuff in tge trash, etc, I do the rest.

I have them pick up their toys and stuff from the living room before they go upstairs.

After a bath I always have to remind them to pick up their clothes off the floor and into the hamper, and hang up their wet towels. They never remember on their own. I also remind them to brush their hair, and teeth before bed. Every few days when its out if control I make them clean up their playroom.

So I generally try to have them take care of themselves and clean up any messes they've made.

I do not believe in allowances. They're learning responsibility for themselves and helping to contribute toward the house. I don't feel that deserves an allowance.

They're 5 and 8.

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DD is five. She has to make her bed, pick up her toys and clothes, and feed the cat. She also clears her dishes from the table but has to be reminded to do all of those things.

She receives $5 a week allowance. She has to save $2, put $1 towards the charity of her choice, and gets to spend $2.
Loose botticelli curls and waves
No silicones/no sulfates since March 2008
My boys are five and nearly four. They have no responsibilities.
hello.world.
I expect/need my kids (5 and 1) to do their part. There are no set chores per se, but I expect them take care of their messes. You take off your clothes and put them in the hamper. After you're done eating, put your plate in the sink. When play time is over, put your toys away. My 5 yr old has always been independent, responsible, and pretty self sufficient--I have to tell her not to do several things (please don't cook your own food, give yourself medication, take care of your sister).

My parenting and teaching style is typically to expect a lot, and the children have yet to disappoint me.

Blame it on the cell phone...
DD is five. She has to make her bed, pick up her toys and clothes, and feed the cat. She also clears her dishes from the table but has to be reminded to do all of those things.

She receives $5 a week allowance. She has to save $2, put $1 towards the charity of her choice, and gets to spend $2.
Originally Posted by LoloDSM
That's a great system.

Mine gets $1/week. LOL yes, I know it's low! I have never told her what to do w/ it. But she has $108 saved!

Maybe I will raise hers a little (not much LOL) and implement your policy.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

I had no idea how much allowance to give DD, I read an article (MSN money?) that said they should earn a dollar for each year. DD's chores have increased with each birthday as well.

DD has saved quite a bit in her charity piggybank. She wants to donate to the local animal shelter. I plan on taking her there when her bank us full, so she can see where her money goes.
CurlyCanadian likes this.
Loose botticelli curls and waves
No silicones/no sulfates since March 2008
I haven't started giving my kids (ages 4 and 5) an allowance yet. Maybe we should soon, I'll talk to DH. I don't like the idea of an allowance being tied to chores, because chores and helping out around the house are expected and the kids should not be able to "opt-out" by foregoing allowance.

My kids have to:
  • Help set the table sometimes
  • Clear their plates and glasses off the table
  • Put their dirty clothes in the laundry basket
  • Help pick up toys
  • Other chores occasionally, such as picking up sticks around the yard.

ETA: My 5-year-old has just started kindergarten, and we have to give frequent reminders for remembering his backpack and lunch box when we're leaving in the morning. I think it's going to take some time for him to master the school responsibilities.

Last edited by sarah42; 09-01-2012 at 09:10 AM.
This is a great thread. I was opposed to allowance because I never got one and neither did my husband. We were just expected to help out with the housework growing up. But my kids keep begging me to buy them all these crappy toys all the time, so instead of all the whining and pouting (because the answer is usually no), they're getting house work. Right now they clear their dishes from the table and put them in or by the sink, put away their clean laundry, help me bring in groceries from the car (if they're around), bringing the trash can back from the curb, pick up their room. I was thinking of paying them each $1/day. If they don't do the work, they won't get paid. Now they can save up to buy all the junk their darling little hearts desire.
My 1 yr old helps me as I go. For instance if I'm mopping the floor, i give her a wet one and she'll get on her hands & knees and wipe the crayon mess from the floor. Also when she takes her jacket off, she knows not to leave it on he ground. She can't reach her hook so she hands it to me. She often picks up her shoes & puts it in her wardrobe. When she's done with her Juice or yoghurt she knows to take the container to the rubbish bin. Sometimes she throws the spoon in as well. But we are getting her to throw it in the sink those other times.
When she's old enough I'll start her on weekly pocket money. I think saving it for herself & for charity is a brilliant idea. I'll def be looking to do something similar
My kids are 8, 6, 4, and 2. They don't have to do this stuff all the time, but the 2 oldest wash/rinse dishes and load and unload the dishwasher. The two youngest put the silverware away and some things in the lower cabinets away. They sort the socks and put away their clothes. They all sort the wash and the oldest 2 have started doing their own. Soon they will be *mostly* completely responsible for their wash.
They all help bring groceries in.

But I get so frutrated that I have to constantly remind 7 yr old to bring her bookbag to school, and both of them not to leave their wet towels on the floor, not to leave her dirty clothes on the floor, to brush their teeth, to pee before we leave out, to wipe up a drink if it spills.

Am i expecting too much?

Do I really need to keep track of her bookbag and nag them both about brushing their own teeth??
We are by no means perfect, but I found routine cards helped immensely for this stuff. That way all they have to do is look at their cards and they know what needs done.

Keeping track of book bag: I told them they are starting school and that meant their book bag and homework is their responsibility. We have a basket they go in so they can always see if they are there. I will ask sometimes if they have their bag, but it isn't a big deal since they know where to find it.

Brushing teeth: I told them their teeth are their responsibility. If they are not taken care of they will get cavities. Sometimes they complain and don't want to. Me: "are you choosing not to brush your teeth?" Most of the time that is all it takes. Brushing teeth is on their routine cards so it is not too big of a deal.
This is a great thread. I was opposed to allowance because I never got one and neither did my husband. We were just expected to help out with the housework growing up. But my kids keep begging me to buy them all these crappy toys all the time, so instead of all the whining and pouting (because the answer is usually no), they're getting house work. Right now they clear their dishes from the table and put them in or by the sink, put away their clean laundry, help me bring in groceries from the car (if they're around), bringing the trash can back from the curb, pick up their room. I was thinking of paying them each $1/day. If they don't do the work, they won't get paid. Now they can save up to buy all the junk their darling little hearts desire.
Originally Posted by Sigi
A friend was against the kids getting an allowance, but her husband thought the kids should get one.

So the kids do the normal stuff (cleaning up after themselves, dishes away, setting the table, etc), but then they have "Money Chores". She has a board on the fridge with different things and what they will get for them.

$2 to weed the garden/$3 to clean up after the dog/$4 to do laundry/etc. If the kids do that stuff, they initial the board and get money at the end of the week.

I don't have kids, but seemed like a good compromise between stuff you need to do to help out in your family, and things to do to earn some money.
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
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To me the allowance is more about money and how to be responsible with money. When are you supposed to learn this? I've known so many peope to go away to colege and get those credit card applications on the first day and run up tens of thousands of dollars worth of debt by graduation or before.

Managing money is something you have to do your entire adult ife so better start learning at a young age.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 09-04-2012 at 08:30 PM.
Spider, DD receives an allowance for that very reason - to teach her to save up for things she wants, have a savings account, and to give to others. I don't know if it's working because she spends most of her "spending" money pretty quickly, but we're hoping the lesson will stick at some point.
spiderlashes5000 likes this.
Loose botticelli curls and waves
No silicones/no sulfates since March 2008

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