Ready to be A Mother

So,.just about ally life I've worked with Children from ages 11-21 (now 22). the reason I stopped working with kids is because one day it hit me that I feel i can only have patience for my own child(ren). I've Always wanted a family, I think about it Often, and I just feel like im ready. Im not saying today I plan to try to conceive as my hubby & I use condoms Everytime, but we Do discuss having children soon & even go a little crazy when we see a cute little kid.. I know a child is a Commitment, life changing, a beautiful blessing & also a challenge but i Still feel like im ready.. Am I crazy to feel this way?? Also my Biggest fear is pregnancy, I would want to do my All to bring healthy children into this world & raise them the Right way but most importantly KNOW 100% im ready... i hear most patents say your truly never ready, even few say they regret the children, i would Never want to feel that way about my children... im just writing for support, opinions, & thought on parents, soon to be parents or even those out there who are not a parent...
itsl would be appreciated
rbbnQn
So,.just about ally life I've worked with Children from ages 11-21 (now 22). the reason I stopped working with kids is because one day it hit me that I feel i can only have patience for my own child(ren). I've Always wanted a family, I think about it Often, and I just feel like im ready. Im not saying today I plan to try to conceive as my hubby & I use condoms Everytime, but we Do discuss having children soon & even go a little crazy when we see a cute little kid.. I know a child is a Commitment, life changing, a beautiful blessing & also a challenge but i Still feel like im ready.. Am I crazy to feel this way?? Also my Biggest fear is pregnancy, I would want to do my All to bring healthy children into this world & raise them the Right way but most importantly KNOW 100% im ready... i hear most patents say your truly never ready, even few say they regret the children, i would Never want to feel that way about my children... im just writing for support, opinions, & thought on parents, soon to be parents or even those out there who are not a parent...
itsl would be appreciated
rbbnQn
Originally Posted by CaribbeanQueen
Many women have strong maternal urges and really want children from a young age. So what you're feeling is totally normal and healthy. And the fact that you are married, is better still.

When you decide to have them is up to you and your husband. No reason not to have thm now if you want them now. But only you know how much time you have to spend w/ them, what your financial and housing situations are, what your career and personal goals are and how close you are to achieving them, how much support you have from family and friends, how flexible your work schedule and maternity leave package are, etc. Will you go back to work after the baby or stay home? How involved will your husband be in taking care of the baby? Are you in good health now? Is your marriage solid and if you broke up would you be OK with raising your child(ren) alone? Are you mentally strong enough to handle the possibility of having a sick or special needs child (God forbid)? Other questions to ask yourself.

IDK that I would agree w/ the statement "no one is every truly ready." I just think we don't fully know what to expect. Pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood are different for everyone so there is no one-size-fits-all way to prepare for everything. But you can still be reasonably ready.

If you were raised well by your parents and extended family, and they are still around, then that should eliminate most of your worries about raising your kids right. Just ask for their opinions when you need to, recall which aspects of your upbringing you appreciated and which you did not, and implement accordingly.

Not sure what you were going thru when you started losing patience w/ the children you were working with. But patience is HUGE when you have kids...and you might find you're less patient w/ your own bc you just expect more from them.

Best wishes!
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

First, I was 33, married for 8 years, financially secure, and totally freaked out when I found out I was pregnant. I was SO not prepared and I'm a pretty darn good mom so you can rise to the occasion.

Second, one thing I would do over is have kids earlier. I would still wait till we were financially secure, but I wouldn't have waited QUITE so long. If I had been younger, we might have had more kids and honestly, it just makes me sad to think that when my daughter is my age I'll be 73 and she will be an only partly (but not entirely) because we waited so late. I don't want more kids, but I wish she had siblings.

If your marriage is solid and you're both employed and you have insurance and a stable housing situation (at 22, I had zero of these things - I had three jobs, no insurance, no husband, and four roommates) and you BOTH want a child, it's not a terrible idea. I will say I went through a bit of baby fever right after I got married because babies seem like the next logical step - I"m glad we didn't have a baby while we were in a tiny apartment with no close family and very little income. That would have been really really difficult.
I know someone that just had a baby and she is 23. Given her situation though, she was not ready. I mean she knows how to raise a child and she's a good mother, but financially they were not ready. She's living on food stamps, wic checks, and unemployment. Also with her bfs salary but he barely makes anything either. We both know she should have waited, as she has even admitted it. We all love the baby, but I say you should wait. 22 is still very young. Our brains don't even finish developing until our late 20s. If you are financially stable and all that then that's great. But just realize that your life will forever change. Nothing you do won't revolve around your child. Your entire life will be focused on him. Obviously it should be like that, but just be sure you are ready to give up a LOT of freedom at the age of 22. Personally I would wait. 22 is much too young in my eyes. You have a lot of time.
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity
beautiful answers from All.. I Do feel ready But Not Now.. not for at least a year or so However i feel on the waiting too long. you never know, sometimes after your first, your.ready to expand, & the fact that parenthood is Different for everyone is also true I knew mothers that dreadly regretted having a child to mothers who saw parenthood as "fun" in a challenging way. Financially we aren't ready. i don't want to raise my child struggling, But i also dont want to wait sooo long to get financially stable that I've wasted years and end up having children @ a older age to where possibly having more is difficult. its never

rbbnQn
I am kind of in the same boat as you. I am only 20, single right now, but I want to have my kids at a fairly young age, at least before 30. Mainly because my mom waited until she was almost 38 to have me (I am also an only child). I don't want to be that old when I decide to have kids. She has told me that it's not easy having a baby at an older age. I know I have a long ways to go before I am even remotely ready to have kids, but I want to still be youthful when I do.
2a/2b, Medium Porosity, Medium Density, Lower Back Length, Growing out highlights.
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I am kind of in the same boat as you. I am only 20, single right now, but I want to have my kids at a fairly young age, at least before 30. Mainly because my mom waited until she was almost 38 to have me (I am also an only child). I don't want to be that old when I decide to have kids. She has told me that it's not easy having a baby at an older age. I know I have a long ways to go before I am even remotely ready to have kids, but I want to still be youthful when I do.
Originally Posted by frankie88
Me too. I would like to have my first kid around the age of 30 but I don't see it happening. I'm an only child as well and I do not want to have one. I want to have at least 2. I hated being an only child. Still do lol
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity
I feel like once I have one, i would like to have another.within the year. I know we cant exactly Plan it out, but i would.like to hav a child(or 2 by 24, I'll be 23 soon and myhusband will soon be 26 and is already feeling like he is old. he said if everything goes well for us within the coming year, he would like to procreate + :-D

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Nevermind
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity

Last edited by sKorpio1190; 12-08-2013 at 01:28 AM.
Posted by mistake
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity
I feel like once I have one, i would like to have another.within the year. I know we cant exactly Plan it out, but i would.like to hav a child(or 2 by 24, I'll be 23 soon and myhusband will soon be 26 and is already feeling like he is old. he said if everything goes well for us within the coming year, he would like to procreate + :-D

rbbnQn
Originally Posted by CaribbeanQueen
You said earlier that you're not ready financially. Will that situation change within the year?

You are definitely not old and neither is your husband. By today's standards, you are actually young. You aren't considered high risk until age 35. And even then, many women continue to conceive into their early 40s.

Don't rush yourselves needlessly. But best wishes with whatever you decide.

I am only 20, single right now, but I want to have my kids at a fairly young age, at least before 30. Mainly because my mom waited until she was almost 38 to have me (I am also an only child). I don't want to be that old when I decide to have kids. She has told me that it's not easy having a baby at an older age.
Originally Posted by frankie88
There are a lot of factors besides age that go into determining what kind of pregnancy and delivery you'll have - like diet, fitness level before pregnancy, the support you get from your medical professional, etc. So it's not a given it will be awful if you have to or choose to wait until your late 30s.

(But yes, I wanted to be done before 35!)
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

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