Waiting til birth to find out gender...

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Anybody do this? Thoughts on how it was?

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Anybody do this? Thoughts on how it was?

Sent from my SPH-L720 using CurlTalk App
Originally Posted by ClarissasCurls
I wouldn't have the patience or self-restraint!
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

I came to the conclusion that I would...and itd be amazing...but I feel it's best for the father for yall to find out at 20 weeks or so. Because that helps give him that link and connection. We get to experience everything and they just get to be spectators...so I feel it's special.

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I came to the conclusion that I would...and itd be amazing...but I feel it's best for the father for yall to find out at 20 weeks or so. Because that helps give him that link and connection. We get to experience everything and they just get to be spectators...so I feel it's special.

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Originally Posted by ClarissasCurls
You feel it's best for the father to know right away or best for the father to wait?

I wanted to know for practical reasons like thinking of names and decorating the nursery.

I guess getting surprised could be cool, too, tho.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

Oh for the father to know in advance. It gives him something during the pregnancy. Knowing if it'll be his little girl or little boy. And to call him or her by name. Since we have both picked out already. Honestly whether you find out at 20 weeks or at birth...its still a surprise!

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And sometimes the baby doesn't cooperate so you don't know. Or the dr gets it wrong. I suppose amnio can determine it pretty reliably but not everyone wants to go thru that.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 06-10-2014 at 04:44 PM.
Oh no, lol gender just isn't that important to me. Healthy is all that matters. I just know itd be easier on him in the end.

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I really, really wanted to know with my first baby, and he was uncooperative so we had to wait. I thought it was a boy and was very impatient to find out if I was right, lol. The anticipation was killer. With my second son I was over 35, so had CVS done (like amnio but earlier), so knew it was a boy by 13 weeks. That was pretty cool because his brother knew he'd have a little brother and could call him by name. This was all a while ago, though, and it was less common to know ahead of time.
3a/b, F, normal porosity

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Was it at least exciting for you? My FiancÚ just out of nowhere said he wanted to wait tonight. And made me make a pact...so...I guess we'll be waiting til birth lol sigh. He always does this. I got used to the idea of finding out and now he wants to wait. But whatever. I get a thrill out of not knowing and being able to make people guess and wait! Lol

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I guess it was exciting, but kind of annoying because I'm not very patient about things like that. In a way it kind of overshadows things, because you're all "What is it? What is it?" instead of "Yay! A baby!" Of course, that part passes quickly, but it seems kind of silly to me to center everything around whether it's a girl or a boy. Anyway, having a newborn was enough of a shock, lol. I didn't need more surprises. He was 2 1/2 weeks early, and that was my first clue that "prepared" and "kids" don't go together.
3a/b, F, normal porosity

Suave conditioner, LAL gel
Lol oh goodness, thats so me. I'm very impatient and I'm do systematic and have to have EVERYTHING planned to the T. I had my whole wedding planned out in 2 days with everything set up and it's still a year and 4 months away...but I guess I want to have this to teach me some patience and with it being SO hard to get pregnant already...I wanna focus on the baby. And not a gender. Cause it wouldn't matter at this point. Just want a healthy little one this time.

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Anybody do this? Thoughts on how it was?

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Originally Posted by ClarissasCurls
I did for both. I don't think I would want to know. I feel it would cause me more anxiety during pregnancy and then if the result was not what I was hoping for, it would ruin the second part of my pregnancy and my bonding with baby. By birth, you are just so excited to meet the baby whoever he or she is that it doesn't matter and then you are too busy to be disappointed for long. That's my experience - everyone is different. I have two boys and want more and I probably won't find out if I do have more. Everyone I know with two boys who had a third and found out told me they regretted it for the above reasons. And if it is what I want (a girl) I'd love to have something to push for and then the beautiful surprise after.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











I also think there is way too much gendering of babies and I don't want to give people 20-24 more weeks to do it. If I did find out, I'd keep it to myself and husband and maybe my immediate family and a few close friends.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











LOL, I'm not sure about husbands and them getting to experience things. If he's so anxious to experience him, let him have some fatigue, sickness, weight gain, mood swings, swelling etc. For my husband, just seeing the changes in me, feeling the baby kicking and discussing the future kept him very involved. The father is not likely to be as bonded to a brand-new baby as the mama anyway, especially if you take mat leave and breast feed, but those early days pass quickly and he will be bonded closely to the child in no time whether or not he knew the gender beforehand.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











I agree. Although I wouldn't care or have any gender disappointment, and neither would he, I would rather have the gender not play such a big role in my pregnancy. And thats what I said lol but he's sensitive and wants to be as involved as possible. I love that you waited with both though. I don't know anybody who did it, and everybody thinks I'm crazy.

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I didn't find out the first time & am doing it again

The father loves feeling the baby move/kick and talking to the baby daily. I think he's putting effort in to feel connected to the baby. He did want to know but respected that I didn't & jumped right on board with not finding out.
Ah, it all makes sense now. Goldy is the puppet master!
Originally Posted by Poodlehead
That's awesome! Did you find it hard to wait? I'm not strong willed lol but I want to do this so bad.

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I waited with both my girls and didn't find it hard at all. I know it's a surprise whenever you find out, but it's just not the same IMO.

As far as decorating, we had a small room that was going to the be nursery for any babies we had so I wanted to keep it gender neutral anyway. We did really cute sea creatures in yellow, light blue. purple and green.
If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
That's so amazing. I agree, its not the same finding out early and finding out at birth. But I understand why people don't wait. I love gender neutral colors. I'm more attracted to them so that'll never be an issue. My only concern was that some people said it was hard when they waited because throughout the whole pregnancy, they fell in love with both what they envisioned their little boy to be and their little girl. So when they gave birth and it was a boy or girl...they felt depressed to say goodbye to whichever one it wasnt. If that makes sense. I'd be perfectly okay with either. But I feel like that would be emotional.

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That's so amazing. I agree, its not the same finding out early and finding out at birth. But I understand why people don't wait. I love gender neutral colors. I'm more attracted to them so that'll never be an issue. My only concern was that some people said it was hard when they waited because throughout the whole pregnancy, they fell in love with both what they envisioned their little boy to be and their little girl. So when they gave birth and it was a boy or girl...they felt depressed to say goodbye to whichever one it wasnt. If that makes sense. I'd be perfectly okay with either. But I feel like that would be emotional.

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Originally Posted by ClarissasCurls
I pictured my daughter (1st) would look totally different than she actually looked/looks. And I was horribly disappointed when I found out 2nd was gonna be a boy. But as soon as they're born, you forget about all of the trivial hopes and expectations, and you're just so thrilled to have them, exactly as they are. Well, that was my experience.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 06-16-2014 at 10:15 AM.

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