Your childbirth fears and how to face them

Iris - I know how it works. I've had an IV before. I think of the tube and needle as the same thing. It's the object in my arm that matters more to me than the needle itself. What I want to know is, how long do they keep it in your arm (the whole business)? Because I was under the impression that they kept the tube in the whole time. No nevermind, I don't want to know. Talking about this is making me ill! Things affect different people in different ways. I hate hospitals and a hospital birth does not appeal to me at all, personally - I don't think of birth as a surgical procedure, and having a baby outside of the hospital setting just sounds more natural. If I can have my doctor/OBGYN there, and keep in mind that I will be taken to the hospital if need be, I'll feel much more comfortable.

WJ - Thanks, that show sounds really cool! I'm going to check it out.
Originally Posted by CurlyMireya
K I wasn't sure, because I've had an IV before too but I didn't realize how it really worked until later, when I started working at a hospital. Anyway, it stays in the whole time.

I plan on refusing an IV when I have a baby (unless it's medically needed) and I would love to have a home birth too, so I know where you're coming from!

I hate hospitals and a hospital birth does not appeal to me at all, personally - I don't think of birth as a surgical procedure, and having a baby outside of the hospital setting just sounds more natural. If I can have my doctor/OBGYN there, and keep in mind that I will be taken to the hospital if need be, I'll feel much more comfortable.

WJ - Thanks, that show sounds really cool! I'm going to check it out.
Originally Posted by CurlyMireya
Generally a doctor/OBGYN will only deliver in a hospital. I think I have heard of doctors attending in a birthing center, but I believe it is very rare, and it would be a doctor that had a connection with that birthing center already - you couldn't just ask your doctor "Hey will you deliver my baby at a birthing center". I very much doubt a doctor would attend a homebirth. Generally at a birthing center on is attended by Certified Nurse Midwives. Around here homebirths are done by midwives (either CNM's or lay midwives). With either a birthing center or a homebirth, they have arrangements with a hospital for transfer if that should be necessary.

Technically you don't have to have an IV if you deliver in the hospital. You have the legal right to refuse it (or any treatment). Whether you are actually allowed to exercise that right, and how difficult they make it for you depends on the particular hospital, your doctor/midwife and sometimes on the nurse who hapens to be on the L& D shift at the time.
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
CurlyMireya, I know around here there are a few hospitals that have separate birthing centers right next to the hospital. I am touring one on May 5 to see if I like it (since I had a disagreement with my current midwives).
I have seen pictures and they don't have that hospital feel or look. The ones that I've heard of are 100% run by OB/GYNs.

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I hate hospitals and a hospital birth does not appeal to me at all, personally - I don't think of birth as a surgical procedure, and having a baby outside of the hospital setting just sounds more natural. If I can have my doctor/OBGYN there, and keep in mind that I will be taken to the hospital if need be, I'll feel much more
WJ - Thanks, that show sounds really cool! I'm going to check it out.
Originally Posted by CurlyMireya
comfortable.


Generally a doctor/OBGYN will only deliver in a hospital. I think I have heard of doctors attending in a birthing center, but I believe it is very rare, and it would be a doctor that had a connection with that birthing center already - you couldn't just ask your doctor "Hey will you deliver my baby at a birthing center". I very much doubt a doctor would attend a homebirth. Generally at a birthing center on is attended by Certified Nurse Midwives. Around here homebirths are done by midwives (either CNM's or lay midwives). With either a birthing center or a homebirth, they have arrangements with a hospital for transfer if that should be necessary.
Originally Posted by geeky
When I've heard "attend" the birthing, I thought it meant that the doctor would be present, not that he/she would be delivering the baby. Because don't women who deliver at a birthing center or at home still go to regular appointments at the hospital for prenatal care? Or are birthing centers equipped to do that? You have to remember that this is all very new to me.
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CurlyMireya, I know around here there are a few hospitals that have separate birthing centers right next to the hospital. I am touring one on May 5 to see if I like it (since I had a disagreement with my current midwives).
I have seen pictures and they don't have that hospital feel or look. The ones that I've heard of are 100% run by OB/GYNs.
Originally Posted by Munchy
I was going to ask if some hospitals actually have separate birthing centers, but I didn't want to risk asking a stupid question and getting my head chopped off. I know there wouldn't be any locally since we only have one hospital and it's lucky to just be operating, but maybe in the city. Another stupid question: if I want to have my baby delivered in an out-of-town hospital (an hour away), do I have to go up there for all of my appointments? Can I have my prenatal care done by my gyno here? This is all so complicated that I will definitely not count out delivering in our local hospital. Hopefully they won't require an IV (knowing the hospital, they'll probably like it because it's less they can screw up).
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Sorry, I didn't mean to derail this thread with childbirth questions, even though it is part of my fear. Small worries that I have:

post-partum depression
having a baby that won't stop crying
how a baby will affect my relationship with spouse
not having enough time for myself

I'm not worried about the pain and actual birth as much as I am the big changes that it will bring. Others have mentioned the physical changes - I admit I'm superficial enough to think about that too.
Sorry, I didn't mean to derail this thread with childbirth questions, even though it is part of my fear. Small worries that I have:

post-partum depression
having a baby that won't stop crying
how a baby will affect my relationship with spouse
not having enough time for myself

I'm not worried about the pain and actual birth as much as I am the big changes that it will bring. Others have mentioned the physical changes - I admit I'm superficial enough to think about that too.
Originally Posted by CurlyMireya

Those are valid fears as well since post partum depression is possible - I had it and it was horrible. The main thing is to be aware so you can recognize you have it, and be treated for it. For the record, mine didn't begin until B was 6 months old, so it doesn't necessarily come right away.

The baby will affect your relationship with your spouse. But you have to give things time to adjust, and eventually you'll find that although your relationship is different, it's better b/c you aren't just a couple, you're a family.

You won't have enough time for yourself. Period. But hey, they're only home for a couple of years, and eventually they go off to school.
~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
If you plan on delivering at a bithing center or at home with a midwife, then you would get all your prenatal care there too. Prenatal appointments are pretty basic stuff - you get weighed, they measure how high the top of your uterus is from your pubic bone (fundal height), you pee in a cup, they measure your bloodpressure. We spoke about how I was feeling. A midwife can do that - you don't need an OB. I had an ultrasound and a blood test to screen for gestational diatbetes - those were not in my midwives offices - they referred me to a hospital for those. And if anything comes up abnormal onthe regular tests, you can also be referredt to a doctor for more specialized care.

If you choose to deliver at ahospital an hour away, then most likely you will be traveling for appointments. Not necessarily to that hospital but to the office of the doctor or midwife who works at the hospital. I think you have to be with a doctor or midwife with privileges at the hospital to plan to deliver there. If you are just a random person with no connection to the hospital who shows up, in labor, I don't know wht they'd do. They might send you to the ER, which would not be great.

As far as babies who cry all the time, to tell the truth some do. But either they do it for a medical reason and once you solve it they stop crying, or it's colic, in which case it goes away, generally by 4 months, sometimes a bit later, but it does go away.

Not having enough time for yourself is also a temporary thing. As kids grow, they don't need you quite as 24/7 as inthe beginning. If time for yourself is a priority, then you figure out how to get a little.

Your relationship with your spouse will change, no doubt about it. But if you communicate with each other, you get through the hard stuff and come out the better for it.
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
The hospital where I will be delivering has a birthing centre, with birthing rooms with hot tubs, bars to use to crouch down, showers etc. but maybe that is a Canadian thing?
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amneris a birth center in the US refers to a freestanding (or affiliated with the hospital) center where the births are attended by CNMs (certified nurse midwives). What you're referring to is what many hospitals around here refer to as birth pavillions or the cushier maternity wards.

So, tell me about water births. I have a couple of questions that may sound silly. Is the whole lower half of your body in water? If so, the baby is surfaced immediately so it's not coughing up water, right? I've never heard of water births before. Do birthing centers offer this, or do you go to a special center? Can you have your doctor or OBGYN there?
Originally Posted by CurlyMireya
if you have cable, there's a show called house of babies on discovery health channel. It's a show about a miami birthing center run by a midwife. They show quite a few waterbirths. It seems like birthing centers have a fancy schmancy jacuzzi or birthing tub. For my home birth I purchased a la bassine tub http://madeinwater.co.uk/pool.html and a new hose. Fiance has an ozonater to help purify the water. Supposedly the "used" birth water is good for fertilizing the garden.

The 2 other people I know who had home births purchased kiddie pools, although both ended up delivering on dry land. What geeky said about the baby not drowning is accurate.

I personally have no preference - water or land. I just want whatever's more comfortable. I think fiance is leaning towards waterbirth though.
Originally Posted by WebjockeyGuide
I glanced at some of the water birth pics on that site and they were so beautiful. Each and every one.
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