I'm in need of good information

Forgive my ignorance, but I've never been pregnant before so I've no clue what I'm doing. I'm going to go this weekend to get some books, but until then, can someone point me to some reliable information online? In the few hours since getting the "plus," I've already managed to scare the crappola out of myself reading online articles (like the one that convinced me I totally messed up the fetus with the 2 mixed drinks I had last week). And if anyone can suggest any good books, that'd be great too. The only one I know about is "what to expect when you're expecting"
*Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
Your 2 drinks you had before you knew are not going to hurt the baby. Things you can do now are: make a Dr.'s appt., start eating healthy foods, try to start sleeping on your left side, stop smoking or drinking. I enjoyed reading Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. It is a very funny/blunt light-hearted book about her pregnancy and things that freaked her out and fun stuff like that. I LOVED it!
A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

"...you could have a turd on your head and no one would notice."~Subbrock

"I had an imaginary puppy, but my grandpa ate him."~Bailey
CONGRATULATIONS It has been almost 15 years since my son was born so I cannot offer any advice on books -- mine are probably outdated! But I did want to say congratulations! Welcome to the wonderful world of motherhood!
2B/3A?? Newbie trying lots of new products thanks to all the info from my "curlfriends"
Belly Laughs is great! So is the Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. The Girlfriend's Guide gives more info than Belly Laughs but it is still really funny.

What to Expect is good for general information but it can be kind of scary. I believe Dr. Sears has a pregnancy book. I didn't read it but based on his other books, it should be a great resource.

Ivillage and Babycenter both have pretty good online resources. Someone sent me a weekly fetus development email. Maybe Babycenter or Pregnancy Weekly.

The best online resource is us! Good luck. I hope you have a smooth 9 months.


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
Personally I would NOT recommend What To Expect When Expecting. I read that book for the first couple of months of my first pregnancy, and it totally freaked me out. It had me convinced that my child was going to have every disease, or deformity, if I even MADE it to term. No thanks.

And not only was I drunk while pregnant the first time before I knew, but my cousin celebrated her 21st birthday not knowing she was pregnant!

As for online, Babyzone.com, and Babycenter.com are ones that I've checked out. I think they have message boards too.
~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
Dr. Sears has some pretty good books, The Pregnancy Book, The Birth Book, The Baby Book, etc.

The What to Expect books are okay, but they might freak you out a little.

Kellymom.com is a good site for pregnancy, hmm...there are the others like Baby Center, etc. too. Mostly just message boards with due date calculators and articles on pregnancy, etc.

Just remember to RELAX. Plus, it's going to seem that EVERYONE is an expert on pregnancy and birth...but every pregnancy, every woman, every child birth is different.

CONGRATS!!!
I did not like The Birth Book by Dr. Sears. I felt as though it was very "judge-y" about non "natural" things like epidurals, non-home births, etc. It basically made me feel like a wimp and a bad mother if I wanted drugs. Maybe their other books are more open-minded...
A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

"...you could have a turd on your head and no one would notice."~Subbrock

"I had an imaginary puppy, but my grandpa ate him."~Bailey
Thanks for the recommendations, I'll look them all up. I will definitely stay away from "what to expect." I'm already plenty freaked out... I don't need any help in that department. I am the biggest worrier ever, so I don't need something that will give me more thing to worry about.
*Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
Congratulations! This must be a Christmas baby!

I like The Pregnancy Journal... it tells you what is happening in your body every day.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











Bailey, a very informative, easy to use and objective book is Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn by Penny Simkin (and a couple other people I think).

It is not entertaining like Belly Laughs, but it is a very useful, scientific reference. It's easy reading and very informative. It offers a good balanced view of options in pregnancy and childbirth, and has a section on newborn care as well.

In my opinion, it's the best pregnancy book out there.

Welcome! I like the pregnancy calendars on WebMD and babycenter.com. I'm also reading What To Expect and it isn't freaking me out or anything.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
I did not like The Birth Book by Dr. Sears. I felt as though it was very "judge-y" about non "natural" things like epidurals, non-home births, etc. It basically made me feel like a wimp and a bad mother if I wanted drugs. Maybe their other books are more open-minded...
Originally Posted by shelli
I didn't read The Birth Book, but I do have The Baby Book and while there is some good info, especially about breastfeeding, I found it the attachment parenting stuff to be a little too much and not practical at all.

However, I did like The Pregnancy Book very much and found it to be a good compliiment to What to Expect.
If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
Dr. Sears is very attachment parenting. I'm not a hardcore attachment parenter so I just took from his books what was relevant to me. He really knows his stuff so he's a great resource for general information.


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
Dr. Sears is very attachment parenting. I'm not a hardcore attachment parenter so I just took from his books what was relevant to me. He really knows his stuff so he's a great resource for general information.
Originally Posted by DarkAngel
I don't even know what that means.

I'm making a list of everything you guys have mentioned to look at.
*Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
Dr. Sears is very attachment parenting. I'm not a hardcore attachment parenter so I just took from his books what was relevant to me.
Originally Posted by DarkAngel
Yeah me too. I agree with the philosophy of developing a strong attachment to your baby, tuning in to your baby's cues and not worring about 'spoiling' your baby by holding it too much or being worried about the baby being to 'dependant' if you comfort them too much, but as far as practical advice - look elsewhere.

When the advice on how to get your baby to sleep is to just enjoy parenting in the middle of the night, it lost me. There is no reason your baby can't sleep through the night just because you're attached. There is a whole middle groung betweend co-sleeping and crying it out, but they only talk in extremes.

I felt like it was a little judge-y if you want even a minute to yourself. Like you're a bad mother because if you attend to any of your own needs.
If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
Attachment parenting is the opposite of the "Spare the rod and spoil the child" philosophy. Some of the things that fall under the attachment parenting umbrella: breast-feeding on demand, carrying and holding your child as much as they need to be held, not spanking, not scheduling, child-led weaning, co-sleeping, not letting them cry ever, etc.
Just about any book on child-rearing you will find will push one "philosophy" to the exclusion of all others, whether that be attachment parenting like Sears, strict scheduling and not letting your infant "manipulate" you like Babywise, etc. And some people tend to get pretty hysterical and intolerant about anything that does not fit into their particular philosophy. I was reading the forums on mothering.com and the thread was "Could you be friends with someone who lets their child cry themselves to sleep?" A good percentage of the responders sounded like they would rather have Charles Manson over for tea than even speak to a parent who does such a horrible thing. On the other hand I have seen writing from the Babywise camp that implies that attachment parenting is responsible for all the evils in modern society and if you rock your baby to sleep surely he will grow up to be a drug addict and criminal.
So the moral of the story is, take everything you read with a grain of salt. If it makes sense to you, give it a try, if it doesn't make sense to you, don't. Every child is different, every family is different. And no one, no matter how many books they write, knows your baby better than you do.
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
Babywise is little nuts too, IMO. That book lost me when they said it was normal for the baby to cry up to 35 minutes before going to sleep. 35 minutes is LONG time, and to me that is just not okay.

I did follow their eat/activity/sleep cycle though, and Lucy is a very good sleeper because of it. We have a schedule/routine too, which gives our day structure. Of course if she's tired or hungry before the scheduled time, I read those cues and respond accordingly, so to me it's a good combo of both philosophies. I think we have a good balance.

I think it's a good idea to read several books/philosophies and pull the parts of each that seem right to you. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, like most of the books suggest.
If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
Yes, Dr. Sears is a bit heavy on the AP, stuff, but I thought it MUCH better than the What to Expect series.

I also had Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn. VERY good book.
I never did read What to Expect...most of my friends that did were paranoid through the beginning of their pregnancies.

I like Your Pregnancy Week by Week...I would often read ahead to see what was coming up.

I like babywise for the scheduling aspect but Chas is 8 months and still not sleeping through the night. My sister and friend's swear by babywise...but I think some babies are better at sleeping than others.

By the way...I had two or three glasses of wine one night before I knew I was pregnant. I was paranoid in the beginning of drinking when we were trying to get pregnant. My friend always reminded me to think of all those babies that were born because of one night of being snockered!!!
I haven't read the birth Sears book but have read his other stuff. He and Martha really have their info correct and Jenny I know it may be frustrating to hear but sometimes there are kids that WILL not sleep for stretches, or due to some incontrollable things so for a parent to hear, "hey it's okay, your kid's not broken. He will outgrow this phase" is just what they need to hear. Some people don't believe there are high needs kids until they have one. (Not putting you down just a general statement).

I'd be a bit wary with babywise as Ezzo has no training other than being a parent himself (no medical training, no pediatric medicine training, not even a degree in any type of counseling, etc.). As far as his parenting abilities, well let's just say he's got adult children that have completely cut him out of their lives for emotional health. I'm usually one who says that every book has a kernel of wisdom in it but babywise is just a dangerous tool. Please be careful.

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