How long before taking a few hours away from baby?

PixieCurl · 11-25-2007, 12:40 PM

Solomon is almost 10 weeks old and I've only ever been away from him for very short stretches. One time my MIL watched him for around an hour while I went to the doctor, and a couple times I've left him at home with my husband while I've run to Target or the grocery store real quick. One time I took him to babysitting at the YMCA while I went to a 45-minute pilates class across the hall, and I worried about him the whole time (not worried about his safety or well-being, but just felt antsy until I could see him again).

My husband and I have tickets to a concert coming up on December 11th and I'm really excited about it, but I'm already so nervous about leaving Solomon for the evening (with my parents). He'll be 12 weeks by then and I know my parents are more than qualified, but I just feel so awful if he gets upset and feels abandoned because his mommy or daddy isn't there to comfort him (though he is quite familiar with my parents, seeing them at least once a week). Also, it doesn't help that he still hasn't successfully eaten from a bottle (pumped breastmilk). We tried a couple times before with my husband feeding him, but we admittedly haven't been as agressive with it as we could because I'm always there with the real thing. We definitely plan to be more agressive in the coming weeks so he's comfortable eating from a bottle when my parents are watching him.

Is it just going to be hard the first few times, and there's really not much I can do? I know my husband and I need to have our own lives too every once in a while, but I feel like I have separation anxiety.

geeky · 11-25-2007, 01:15 PM

I don't remember when was the first time I left Ben for a real period of time. I remember it was hard on me. I am sure he will not feel abandoned. He will be fine with his grandparents.

PixieCurl · 11-25-2007, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geeky

I don't remember when was the first time I left Ben for a real period of time. I remember it was hard on me. I am sure he will not feel abandoned. He will be fine with his grandparents.

I know you're right. I just wish I could stop feeling so nervous about it.

RedCatWaves · 11-25-2007, 02:25 PM

My younger 2 kids never had a single bottle at all, and I managed to start getting out alone a bit when they were 2-3 months old. I would just make sure I was back by the time they needed to feed again. My kids slept through the night early though. There were times when we would go out to a party at 10pm or 11pm, after the last feeding...sure we missed the early part of the party, but we were still able to put in an appearance and have a bit of couple time.

Your baby will take a bottle from your parents if he gets hungry enough. He might not be pleasant about it, but he won't starve. As long as your parents are OK with that, then go and have a good time.

deezee02 · 11-25-2007, 03:25 PM

14 month later I still hate leaving him. I think it is just a mommy thing.

My vote is to go out and have a good time. It is good for both you and your parents (to spend quality alone time).

gemini · 11-25-2007, 03:55 PM

It's tough, especially if you leave before you find the bottle he will take. I didn't leave my daughter for a real stretch until I went back to work (she was about 10 weeks old). Lucky for me, just a few days before, I FINALLY found the right bottle and she did fine. I missed her for that entire first day back at work and for most of that week, though. It gets easier when they are older and more self sufficient, but it is really hard to not feel guilty.

subbrock · 11-25-2007, 06:11 PM

we took our 1st outing maybe 2 weeks ago. we went out to dinner...we were gone 4 hours (from the time we walked out of my parents front door until the time i ran back in to retrieve my child!) and i swear i called a million times. it was hard. she was mad at me for about a week, but dinner was REALLY good!

Sigi · 11-25-2007, 06:49 PM

Yeah, don't feel bad about leaving him. I wish I had taken more opportunities to go out and do stuff without them when they were babies. I'm sure your parents are quite anxious to get some alone time with him too.

Munchy · 11-25-2007, 07:37 PM

About two weeks after I had Brooklyn I had to go to the ER for a suspected infection. DH and I were there for about 4 hours and I paged my mom about every 15 mins asking what the baby was doing

I actually asked her if she was looking around...

On Halloween, my parents watched her overnight. I left at about 10 and we picked her up around noon the next day. I missed her so much, but she was absolutely fine.

We have plans on the 14th and MIL will take her overnight. I think that will be harder for me because she will be 45 mins away, not like the 10 mins to my parents' house.

It's so hard to leave her, but my parents practically beg me to leave her there sometimes. I know it seems soon, but DH and I need a little bit of adult time too.

mad scientist · 11-25-2007, 08:06 PM

Go and have a good time!

I think Karan was about 3 months old when DH and I went out for a movie while my Mom was visiting. We were gone about 4 hours. He had taken a bottle maybe once before that.

Because we didn't have any family/friends nearby, our outings were few and far between but it was always a nice break to be alone together.

Amneris · 11-25-2007, 08:52 PM

It's hard for me too and he also has trouble with bottle feeding. The first time I left him for a few hours he was about 2 months, and it was hard on me, but he was fine. Since then, I've left him a few times with my parents and/or husband, and it gets easier each time but is still hard.

picklesgirl · 11-26-2007, 11:23 AM

he'll be fine!! enjoy the concert..

CurlyinColorado · 11-27-2007, 06:05 PM

Mine's four and I still worry if I leave her for more than a couple of hours, has she had lunch, it's nap time, is she napping, yada yada.

I don't think I felt secure about leaving her at all, until she was 6 months or so. Even then, I only took time when it was her nap or after she had eaten, etc. I trusted her completely at day care, though, all day. Weird.

You'll enjoy your evening out and when you get home you'll rush in to see him.

Have a nice time.

M2LR · 11-27-2007, 09:25 PM

When my son was about 2 months old, we left him and went to a concert. He didn't stay overnight anywhere until he was over a year old. When he was about 18 months, our work schedules were a hot mess, and he spent each weekend with my mom or hubby's mom, overnight. So, we got over that fear fairly quickly.

I waited until my daughter was over a year before having her stay the night somewhere else (with grandparents).

webjockey · 11-28-2007, 07:15 AM

While I didn't feel the way you did ( I was ready to hit the road a week afterwards), I do understand the anxiety. I left him as soon as I was able to start pumping. I think it was around 2 months. On the evening of our wedding he was a little over 2 months and I left him with friends overnight. Bad idea since my boobs were rock hard in the morning.

My rules of parenting are simple.

First - do no harm
Sencond - keep mommy sane.

rainshower · 11-28-2007, 07:23 AM

i was pumping milk from the day it came in. i had to. our son was a sleeper and would gorge himself from one breast for just 2-3 minutes then go right back to sleep. so i had to pump to get rid of the pressure. as a result, i had A LOT of milk frozen that my husband could thaw out and bottle feed him. he was probably around a month old when i ventured out for just a couple of hours to piddle around in stores or get film developed or something. i didn't feel guilty because my husband was excited that he could bottle feed him if he woke up, and he also wanted me to get out and get some fresh air (i'd been house-bound since coming home from the hospital).

spiderlashes5000 · 11-28-2007, 07:31 AM

I left DD with my mother when DD was 2 weeks old so DH and I could go see a movie. She was fine.

medussa · 11-28-2007, 03:48 PM

I left my son with my mom at 6 weeks. We went to a wedding in CT. We were probably gone about 7 hours.

I've left my kids for several hour at a time, starting at around 3 months.

It'll all work out. Go and have fun.

PixieCurl · 11-29-2007, 10:03 AM

Thanks for all the replies everyone. I knew the way I was feeling had to be normal. We shouldn't be gone for too long at the concert, and lately Sol's been going longer stretches between feedings in the evening so maybe they'll only have to feed him once, if I feed him right before we leave.

We're going to a wedding in NJ next weekend and my parents had offered to keep him for the whole weekend. There was no way I'm ready to do that - the couple insisted it was fine for me to bring the baby.

Mutterbutt · 12-01-2007, 04:58 PM

Just wanted to say that my youngest is 6 months and hubby and I have never been out alone without her. I go to work one night a week and DH puts them to bed, and I will occasionally go to the grocery store, etc.

We really wanted to go to a concert a couple of months ago, but I would have had to pump if I was away that long, and we both knew we wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy ourselves with the girls at home. We kind of look at it as we have a very restricted social life right now, but they are only this little once, and for a very short time.

I guess what I am trying to say is do what feels comfortable, and don't feel pressure to go out/stay in from anyone. Whatever you decide is ok. I know that people think we are nutty for not going out, but we are totally fine with it.