concerned about weight, conception and pregnancy

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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 943
I weighed around 90 lbs. from high school until just about a year ago. I'm 5'2, and my BMI in high school was 16, I think. I've generally had regular periods, so I've never been that concerned. My dad's side of the family is pretty thin, so I figured I got it from them and would always be this way. Now at age 26, I'm noticing I'm gaining a little more easily. I've gained around 5-7 lbs. in the past year, and am happy with that. I think it's just metabolism slowing down. I always tried to gain weight, and was told by many people that I won't gain weight until I have kids - haven't had any kidlets yet, so guess they're wrong. It was something about hitting 25 - happened to my mom too, but she had me around then, so I figured it was baby weight.

I would talk with a gynocologist, but from what I understand, as long as you're not terribly underweight and have regular periods, you'll be able to carry a baby. My gyno is even thinner than I am, and has 5 kids.

Wow, this thread has taken quite a turn. I won't get into that except to say that you should have a long discussion with your bf about the future. Sure, there are single moms out there who make it, but it's not an ideal situation. I'm not saying marriage = perfect family since the majority of marriages today don't make it. But, I wouldn't be sleeping with anyone if I didn't know about his thoughts on kids, and I wasn't completely sure I could support a child on my own (since men have been known to change their thoughts on children once the child arives). I wouldn't rely on welfare since, especially if Republicans stay in office , who knows how long welfare will even be around?
Thanks for the advice, and for not being angry CurlyMireya.

I worry about it sometimes, but really I am pretty sure I am normal. I'm not looking forward to going to the gyno for the first time, but I'm just going to get it over with. I think I get to caught up in all the charts and stuff telling me what is 'normal' and 'healthy', but everyone is different.. and I know plenty of skinny women with kids.

I also know my boyfriend would be 100% supportive and a great dad if I had an unplanned pregnancy-we've discussed that much, and after 3 years I know he's a kind and trustworthy person. I'm just not positive he wants to be a full-time family man with 3 planned kids, which is what I would really like. I am not planning on ever getting married. I would like to have a long-term, monogamous relationship with someone and raise a family, but I don't care about the piece of paper. If that doesn't work out though, I will handle it by myself. I recommend this book, many inspiring stories.

Everyone seems to be confusing the life that I am living now (which is free and easy, admittedly) with the life I would be leading if I was a parent.. which will be completely different. That's the case for everyone, right? Having a child changes everything. I will do everything I can to be responsible, pay my bills, and raise a happy (and I hope healthy) child. But I do not believe that striving to make as much money as I possibly can will improve my life. If I had more financial resources I might be better able to cope with health emergencies, but I am not willing to sacrifice quality of life for security of mind.

I am not planning on ever going on welfare, nor using CHIP (if it even exists anymore when I have kids). I do know people who are on it, but I would not consider it myself. If there was an emergency and I was unable to make enough to eat and pay rent/childcare, I have people in my life who would help me until I got my feet.

It's tax free if you lie to the IRS and cheat on your taxes. Hello, audit!
Well I exaggerated a little. My one job is under the table. The other, by boss only reports my credit card tips. So I do pay income tax on those and my big 2.83 an hour serving wage.. but this is only a small fraction of what I make. From what the career waitresses tell me, the IRS leaves us alone. They'd much rather bother the people who are making millions and not paying taxes.

Do those of you who are lecturing me live in some kind of upper-middle-class bubble, where your parents paid for the college of your choice, all your friends make make high 5 or 6 figures, own a house and car, and take vacations to the Bahamas twice a year? I doubt it, because the majority of people in this country do not have that lifestyle. It sounds incredibly luxurious to me, and also unessesary. And are these people the only people that 'deserve' to have children?
Do those of you who are lecturing me live in some kind of upper-middle-class bubble, where your parents paid for the college of your choice, all your friends make make high 5 or 6 figures, own a house and car, and take vacations to the Bahamas twice a year? I doubt it, because the majority of people in this country do not have that lifestyle. It sounds incredibly luxurious to me, and also unessesary.
Originally Posted by rhubarbarin
Um, not even CLOSE. But until you've actually become a parent, you cannot possibly even begin to comprehend the realities of having a child, let alone several. Especially the financial realities.
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Well I exaggerated a little. My one job is under the table. The other, by boss only reports my credit card tips. So I do pay income tax on those and my big 2.83 an hour serving wage.. but this is only a small fraction of what I make. From what the career waitresses tell me, the IRS leaves us alone. They'd much rather bother the people who are making millions and not paying taxes.

Do those of you who are lecturing me live in some kind of upper-middle-class bubble, where your parents paid for the college of your choice, all your friends make make high 5 or 6 figures, own a house and car, and take vacations to the Bahamas twice a year? I doubt it, because the majority of people in this country do not have that lifestyle. It sounds incredibly luxurious to me, and also unessesary. And are these people the only people that 'deserve' to have children?
If you're not paying taxes on all of your wages, you are cheating us all.

My husband and I have all those things, but our parents didn't pay for college, and we didn't get here easily. It was hard work...work that we paid taxes on, every single dollar of it.

Your life is your own, but I have a feeling you're in for a rude awakening one day.
Well I exaggerated a little. My one job is under the table. The other, by boss only reports my credit card tips. So I do pay income tax on those and my big 2.83 an hour serving wage.. but this is only a small fraction of what I make. From what the career waitresses tell me, the IRS leaves us alone. They'd much rather bother the people who are making millions and not paying taxes.

Do those of you who are lecturing me live in some kind of upper-middle-class bubble, where your parents paid for the college of your choice, all your friends make make high 5 or 6 figures, own a house and car, and take vacations to the Bahamas twice a year? I doubt it, because the majority of people in this country do not have that lifestyle. It sounds incredibly luxurious to me, and also unessesary. And are these people the only people that 'deserve' to have children?
If you're not paying taxes on all of your wages, you are cheating us all.

My husband and I have all those things, but our parents didn't pay for college, and we didn't get here easily. It was hard work...work that we paid taxes on, every single dollar of it.

Your life is your own, but I have a feeling you're in for a rude awakening one day.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
ITA. It really bothers me that some people feel like they have the right to cheat society by not paying taxes, relying on all the honest people out there to pay their taxes, and then still use all the services provided by tax payer money.

My SO, a financial adviser, also says that people who are paid under the table are also cheating themselves, because the government will see that you paid less into the system and you won't qualify for as much when you are older.

To the OP, no one is saying that only rich folks can have kids. But your original post made it sound like you were planning to raise your kids in poverty just so you wouldn't have to work hard. Do you understand why people would tell you that's a bad idea?

I'm busy for a while with the baby and all hell breaks loose, huh?

Wow, what a thread.

I think what surprised most people who "want a baby to love' and "want to be a mommy" is that, although there is love involved, what parenthood is, bottom line, is pure sacrifice. Your needs, your wants, everything.
My oldest is in college ($8,000 for fall semester), paid for in full by grants and scholarships she worked her a$$ off to earn. 4.0 student, never made a B, and continuing that in college. Know how she got that way? She watched her mom work her a$$ off every day. The rule at my house is: Everybody has to work, fact of life. School IS your job just like the one I go to every day. No exceptions.
Did you do it for love? Did you do it for money? Did you do it for spite? Did you think you had to, honey?
- Eagles






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