New Worst Mom Ever!!

Guess who is the worst mom ever? Me, me, pick me!!!

Guess who spent the morning in ER? Me again!!

Xander woke up early this morning. I took my shower and ignored him until I finished. I went to check him out and he had a leg thrown over the crib top trying to escape. Emphasis on "trying." He got stuck and started screaming for me to help him. I decided to let him out while I finished getting dressed. Bad idea. He can't be trusted. I left him for a few minutes and came back to him pouring Rubbing Alcohol down the toilet.

Me: Did you drink that?
Him: Yup!
Me: (not sure I believe him) How did it taste?
Him: Yummy!
Me: Oh crap!

Two calls later to poison control and a trip to his sitter so she could check him out and we ended up in ER. Much better experience than I expected. They have a new peds ER here that took great care of us. He was staggering around like a little drunkard for a while. Really giggly and kind of silly. Then he turned into a mean violent little drunk. Then he calmed down.

The ER docs (although very competent) didn't seem to know two year olds very well. "Is he slurring his words?" "um, all of his words are slurred." "How is his conversation skills?" "Um, he's two. His conversation is always strange." "Xander, can you walk in a straight line with your feet one in front of the other." "The hell, is this a traffic stop? He's two. He doesn't know what a straight line is and can't walk one sober."

We left ER and went to our regular doc for some bloodwork that all came back normal and then he went to sleep it off. All in all, his fine. I feel like a butthole for leaving him unattended. I forgot that two means uniformed little person who does not make bright decisions and needs to be watched at all times. Live and learn. He can stay in his crib and get stuck from now on!

Good news out of all this: He held his pee for quite a while after telling us he needed to go but we needed to find a bathroom and clean it properly for him. I was crazy proud of him.


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
I'm sorry but that made me laugh. I am picturing Xander on COPS at a traffic stop. I am glad he is OK, and you are not the worst mom ever. The worst mom ever gives her two-year-old booze on purpose.
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
You are not a bad mom! Accidents happen.

Hugs to you and I'm glad Xander is okay!
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
That SOOOO does not make a bad mom! That sounds perfectly normal to me, and you know, he probably didn't even drink any.

Bailey has done that to me a couple of times. I've either smelled her breath, or somehow known she didn't actually drink it, but sometimes she'll tell me she did.

A few months ago we were all sick and taking medicine and stuff. I get up from feeding the baby and Bailey is in the kitchen w/ a straw in the bottle of Tylenol, just drinking away! After my intial panic and mind racing trying to think, I remembered that it was empty anyway. I still don't know how she got it, or how she got the cap off!
~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
Glad he's okay! your a good mommy adn sounds like you did all the right stuff after you saw what was going on!

LOL a/b the stupid questions!
A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

"...you could have a turd on your head and no one would notice."~Subbrock

"I had an imaginary puppy, but my grandpa ate him."~Bailey
I'm sorry but that made me laugh. I am picturing Xander on COPS at a traffic stop. I am glad he is OK, and you are not the worst mom ever. The worst mom ever gives her two-year-old booze on purpose.
Originally Posted by geeky
To better help that image


Kade got into some sort of metal cleaner once when he was an infant. He was playing in the hall and I wasn't watching closely because there wasn't anything there dangerous . . . or so I thought. In the hall closet, buried in the very back a box shoved in there many years before and forgotten full of metal polishes, paint and tarnish removers. And he found them. I didn't know if he drank any of it. He was less then a year old at the time, so it's not like he could tell me. So I rushed the hospital anyways. They kept asking if he seemed tired, well by this point it was well past his bedtime so yeah he was tired. And they kept trying to get him to drink milk from a cup, when he didn't know how. They had no sippy cups in the entire hospital apparently, and I had to call someone late at night to bring him one, because they wouldn't release us until he drank some milk. But he didn't want to drink milk because he had just ate before we came, so he wasn't hungry. Then several long boring hours later, they finally released us, saying apparently the worst the stuff could do was cause nausea. Wow, they could have like told me that in the beginning and save me a ton of worry.

And other one for the humor factor. When Kade was 4 months old, right before bedtime one night, he was trying to get to a sitting position from tripod on his own, lost his balance, bounced his head off his play keyboard, then hit it hard on a linoleum floor. He had a massive goose egg on his head, and he was crying so hard. Being a new parent I panicked and took him to the ER. Some of the questions they asked me. "is he sleepy?" yes, but it is past his bedtime. "any unusual behavior?" besides screaming bloody murder? "vertigo" umm he's 4 months old "any blurring of vision, headaches, or slurred speech?" ummm why don't you ask him about the headaches, look at an eye chart and you can check for slurred speech yourself while your at it!!
I didn't know you could get drunk on rubbing alcohol...

Glad he was OK. Two year olds can look drunk on nothing. They're high on life.
RCW, according to the poison control guy, rubbing alcohol makes the little people act like we do when we get into too much gin. He said it only takes a mouthful or two on a 30 pounder to make a difference. In the end though, it sounds like rubbing alcohol really doesn't do much damage. I could have just gone to my regular doctor and had him looked at.

Cympreni, it sounds like we saw the same ER docs! I guess they have their lists of questions and don't bother to tailor them to the little ones.

BW, I know for sure he drank it. They had me keep smelling his breath. It didn't smell like alcohol but it smelled a ton better than his usual morning breath. I guess the alcohol killed the stink! Eeek at Bailey and her straw.

Thank you, all! It really is kind of funny now but I felt like scum earlier this morning.


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
Awww - sweetie, a 'bad mom' would have ignored advice and NOT gone to the ER.

I'm sorry - but the ER doctor's questions just made me crack up.

I'm glad your little man is okay...and that the toilet training seems to be going well. Fingers crossed!
Long, blonde, 3a/mostly b hair.

I was laughing out loud reading your post. You are so not a bad mom!
*Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
Now see this is what shaves YEARS off a person's life when they choose parenthood. Little by little our life expectancy (and sanity) are whittled away.

I've got to come up with a fake name for poison control. We've had to call twice because someone snuck some water soluble (thankfully) vitamins.
BW, I know for sure he drank it. They had me keep smelling his breath. It didn't smell like alcohol but it smelled a ton better than his usual morning breath. I guess the alcohol killed the stink! Eeek at Bailey and her straw.

Thank you, all! It really is kind of funny now but I felt like scum earlier this morning.
Originally Posted by DarkAngel
That cracked me up. Poor DA! Were those ER docs even paying attention to the fact that your kiddo was TWO? LOL
"Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas
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glad to hear hes okay!!

my hot stuff just fell off the couch. im thinking about having tshirts made up in different colors that say, "worst mom ever". kind of like days of the week underwear...
So glad Xander is okay.

We've had mishaps with A&D ointment, sunblock and poop even. I remember the pediatrician telling me, "no, your son cannot catch ecoli from himself."

They get into everything. Never let your guard down.
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 41,043
So glad Xander is okay.

We've had mishaps with A&D ointment, sunblock and poop even. I remember the pediatrician telling me, "no, your son cannot catch ecoli from himself."

They get into everything. Never let your guard down.
Originally Posted by medussa
Brownies...
Code:
There may be more...
So glad Xander is okay.

We've had mishaps with A&D ointment, sunblock and poop even. I remember the pediatrician telling me, "no, your son cannot catch ecoli from himself."

They get into everything. Never let your guard down.
Originally Posted by medussa
Brownies...
Code:
There may be more...
Originally Posted by WileECoyote - Daddy's grl
Dude, I was trying to block that one out.

Thanks a lot!!!
Now that I am over the trauma, I can't stop laughing at this thread. All of your stories are great. I am not sure how any of these children make it to adulthood and how we don't drop dead from shock, fear, or disgust while raising them.


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 41,043
Or a heart attack! lol
Now that I am over the trauma, I can't stop laughing at this thread. All of your stories are great. I am not sure how any of these children make it to adulthood and how we don't drop dead from shock, fear, or disgust while raising them.
Originally Posted by DarkAngel

I hear ya. The most commonly said phrases said in my house is:
  • These kids are going to be the death of me
  • Reservations for 2 in the local looney bin please
  • They are not going to live to be (insert age here)
Oh, my. That cracks me up.

Don't feel so bad. Audrey got a hold of a brush with roundup on it last summer.
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