Who is/was allowed to touch your belly?

Some of my family members have been wanting to touch my very large belly, and I'm just not comfortable with it. I back away, and say I don't like my belly being touched, but what I really want to do is slap their hands and yell "No!" For some reason, with these particular people, it just feels invasive, but that could be due to my history with them (long story).

So far, I've limited belly touching to my husband and son and those providing medical/body services. Our pastor did gently touch it last week, but I've known the man for 15 years, and would consider him a close friend in addition to being my pastor.

So what are your rules for belly touching?
3b/c normally, 3a/b in the winter

I didn't really have any rules. If a stranger would have touched me (anywhere) he/she would have gotten told off. But I tolerated other people's touches because I understood them to be signs of affection...or something.

What exactly do you mean by "rules?" How are you going to publicize your rules?
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

I never minded belly touching while pregnant. I would have liked even more of it. People revere pregnant women. I enjoyed it while I could. That time of life goes by quickly and is never equaled again.
I think I allowed anyone who asked first to touch my belly. The asking permission was key.


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the only people who have felt bold enough to do so were people i felt close enough to that it was okay. the kids i teach come up and touch or pat it all the time, tee hee. if a total stranger did it, i might back away and feel ooky about it.

m
coarse, thick 3a
modified cg







Not too many people try/ask. My son does and I have a friend at work that always asks (or I can just tell she wants to) so I always tell her OK. I'd be a bit ooked out if it was a stranger.
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My husband is usually the only one who touches my belly so far, but I'm just getting to the stage where I really look pregnant and not chubby. A while back, when people who know me could tell I was showing, a young girl in my church asked if she could touch and I was fine with that.

Like others have said, I think asking makes me okay with it.
Life with Lydia

I guess part of it is the asking - these relatives don't do that. Today, my aunt tried to sneak up on me, with one finger outstretched toward my belly. This is the same aunt who came over a few months ago, and when told I was resting, burst into our bedroom to wake me up. Not a good idea to wake up a sleeping pregnant woman, at least not this one.

As I said before, there is a history with these relatives too. They have tons of boundary issues, or rather not knowing where boundaries should be. When I was a teenager, they would burst into my room while I was dressing (no knocking, no asking, and no lock) and into the bathroom while I was bathing (no lock there either). I've never been a very touchy, feely person, and I guess I'm just very uncomfortable with people assuming they can invade my personal space without at least asking first, like they are entitled or something just because I know them.

Or maybe I'm just very cranky because I'm very pregnant and uncomfortable about now.
3b/c normally, 3a/b in the winter

i know what you mean about people with boundary issues.

i used to have a co-worker who sort of force-hugged people. i absolutely hated it and always stiffened up and moved away when she did it. she finally took the hint.

it's just something in the way certain people approach you. even if people don't ask permission outright, there's usually something tentative or hesitant - a negotiating moment, that lets you clue them in to whether or not you welcome the touch - but some people are socially clueless, and they blow right past that moment of the encounter without acknowledging it. it's very creepy. i totally know what you're talking about, and i'd probably feel like yelling at them to back off.

m
coarse, thick 3a
modified cg







Mostly just medical people were allowed to touch the belly. I just felt so CROWDED the whole time I was pregnant.

I would sometimes tell my husband to put his hand somewhere if she was moving or kicking, but I just don't get the need to rub someone else's belly so it was not something I tolerated at all. I was very clear about that as soon as I found out I was pregnant.

I have one aunt who is always saying, "Oh I know you don't like X, but I'm going to do it anyway" (hugs, talking about certain subjects, roaming around my house and just looking at things...she's INSANE and secretive about her privacy but has no respect for yours) and when she'd come at me, I'd just step away or take her wrist and move her hand away (premeditated boundary busters can suck it).

I guess I have a pretty good don't mess with me look because few people actually tried.
I don't really understand why people do this either. My mama said in our culture, rubbing a pregnant belly is supposed to help someone who wants to be pregnant get pregnant.... but lots of people not from our culture, or people who I do not think want to be pregnant, did it too. MOST of them at least asked and if they asked, I would let them. I only had a problem with people I was not close to (strangers, random people) just walking up and doing it. But I did not get THAT much of it because I carried low and small and it was not clear until the very end that I was even pregnant and not chunky, so most of the people touching me did it more because they knew I was pregnant than that I looked pregnant. I think people do it more to the big, beautiful, protruding bellies.
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I didn't have any restrictions. Pregnancy was such a curious strange thing for me because I've never been around pregnant women. So I understood the curiousity of the whole thing. I allowed one of my male coworkers to touch my belly (over clothing of course) because he never touched one.

And one woman in the airport asked to give him a blessing and it involved a light touch on the belly and a prayer. That was a little random though.
hello.world.
I don't like being touched that much, which worsened while I was pregnant. So I tried to restrict the touching to only DH. I did let a few who asked. But stopped after one woman lifted my shirt to rub my belly. Anyone who touched without permission got a piece of my mind and more. I had NO impulse control whatsoever during pregnancy. I remember one guy I had never seen before just walk up to me and put his hand on my stomach and commented, "getting a big up front huh?" to which I replied by jiggling his belly fat and saying "yeah you too."
my SO and the dr.

i was one of those miserable, witchy, evil pregnant ladies.
Anyone was welcome to give the belly a love rub/pat! I went to mexico when I was like 8 months preg. & the guy working at a fish market on the street even gave me some love when my in-laws were buying shrimp from him. I loved having people be so sweet to me & my big round belly!
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my SO and the dr.

i was one of those miserable, witchy, evil pregnant ladies.
Originally Posted by subbrock
Yep, add in my mom and my brothers too.

I didn't have any problems with touching as long as it wasn't a complete stranger. I think that only happened once....but it was an older grandmotherly type lady...so wasn't too bad. Just caught me by surprise.

I'm a touchy feely person...but I can see how those people who aren't would get annoyed quickly.

I agree with RCW....nothing ever compares to how people treat a pregnant lady. Perfect strangers were willing to go out of their way to make me comfortable.
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Some of my family members have been wanting to touch my very large belly, and I'm just not comfortable with it. I back away, and say I don't like my belly being touched, but what I really want to do is slap their hands and yell "No!" For some reason, with these particular people, it just feels invasive, but that could be due to my history with them (long story).

So far, I've limited belly touching to my husband and son and those providing medical/body services. Our pastor did gently touch it last week, but I've known the man for 15 years, and would consider him a close friend in addition to being my pastor.

So what are your rules for belly touching?
Originally Posted by jce
my husband could, depending on my mood. i never let my friends or even my mother touch my belly and the main reason is that when i was pregnant, my skin became annoyingly sensitive to stimulation. i wanted to be naked, or close to it as much as possible because even a simple tee shirt and underwear was aggravating.

oddly enough, on my last day before maternity leave, one of my colleagues, a gentle giant of a guy, with whom i had limited conversations, reached out to touch my belly. for some reason, i didn't coil away from him, and let him hold his hand there for a second before wishing me well and saying goodbye.

during labor, i didn't want anyone touching any part of my body because the sensitivity became that bad.
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I was never really bothered by it, though was never really groped by a total stranger. Friends, family and acquaintances regularly rubbed my belly.
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Anyone was welcome to give the belly a love rub/pat! I went to mexico when I was like 8 months preg. & the guy working at a fish market on the street even gave me some love when my in-laws were buying shrimp from him. I loved having people be so sweet to me & my big round belly!
Originally Posted by shelli
I'm pretty sure that's how I'd be. I honestly don't get the aversion, BUT I've never been pregnant AND I'm not bothered by people hugging me, etc.

I always ask before touching a pregnant tummy and I only ask women with whom I am very close.
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