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Old 07-24-2008, 11:44 AM   #1
 
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Default Potty Training Girls

Emma is in the 2-year old class, consistenting of 2 1/2 to 3 year olds, and they asked me if we are potty training her at home. We ask her, but she throws a TON of fits, cries, refuses...pretty much what she does at school. I remember being told with Robbie that if this happens, don't push it as it will just back fire.

A couple of months ago, she was interested, used the chair a few times, but for some reason has stopped. She does know what she's doing, knows when she's wet (and will ask for a new diaper/dry diaper) after she's gone.

I guess I am wondering if I need to push it, or what I need to do. Everyone from day one has told me that girls like to be clean, they are easier to PT and all of that; this is not what I am finding.

Am I expecting too much? Technically, she's not even 2 1/2 yet.

Thoughts? Suggestions?
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Old 07-24-2008, 11:58 AM   #2
 
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My daughter is not trained yet. I have been using a reward system (jellybeans, but also stickers and sometimes money for her piggy bank) when she uses the potty. I know she goes more consistently at school.
I'm guessing that's because she sees that her peers are doing it too.

Right now I stick with positive reinforcement for using the potty and reminding her that she does not get rewarded for going in her pull up. I remind her that she has to tell us when she has to go. I have not taken a weekend and dedicated it to potty training (when she moves to the 3 YO room in Oct/Nov, she HAS to be trained), but that's coming soon.
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Old 07-24-2008, 12:17 PM   #3
 
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We should keep this topic bumped... Especially since a few of us are entering the potty training stage.. (granted we have boys) but the support system would be nice!!

~d
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Old 07-24-2008, 12:19 PM   #4
 
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It truly depends on the child. Kennedy became fully potty trained soon after we started her in a "real" child care setting (before she was with my aunt). She was 27 months. It helped that the center worked with her during the day and there were other kids who were potty trained (she's very competitive).

Also, we did have to make it a priority and take away the pull-ups. As long as she had the pull-ups as back-up, she didn't go all the way. Once she had a few accidents in her big girl underwear and felt the wetness or dirtiness, she got it. The downside to this is the clean-up required during the transition.

The best advice I recieved from our pediatrician when I was at wits end was to let things go. Don't push her. Let her come to this on her own. Once we calmed down and decided to let her guide us, she amazingly came full circle.

HTH
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Old 07-24-2008, 02:11 PM   #5
 
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In my experience, the daycare setting is probably the most helpful tool in pottytraining, because of the peer pressure to perform. If she's not responding to that, nothing you do at home is going to help much. I would think she's just not ready yet and I'd leave her be. To me, pottytraining is a 1 or 2 day thing...it doesn't take months and months of "training" to teach a child to use the potty. They know how to do it...they watch you and siblings and peers. They'll do it when they want to...and not a moment sooner.

ETA: I've potty trained 4 children...3 boys and 1 girl. The only one who did it at age 2 was my oldest son. The rest of them, even the girl, trained after age 3.
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Old 07-24-2008, 02:23 PM   #6
 
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what worked for us both times is that we didn't ask our toddlers if they had to go. they'd always say no.

we got rid of the pullups with our son and used the last of our daughter's disposable diapers and proceded with gerber 100% cotton reinforced training underwear. i bought about 15-20 pairs for each of them because i anticipated a lot of wetness initially and i wanted to always have a dry pair on hand.

every 10-15 minutes, we told them, "it's time to sit on the pot so we won't wet ourselves." and insert random "big boy" this or "big girl" that, and you get the general picture of how it went down. they sat. didn't always have to urinate. but with the frequency that we had them sitting on it, we'd catch them having to urinate when they didn't even think they had to go.

our daughter was trained faster than our son. not because i believe that girls are necessarily easier to potty train, as is widely believed. but because we trained our daughter directly on our toilet. no bells or whistles. my mother bought a kiddie toilet seat insert for our daughter to use at her house.

our son (our first born) however, had a potty that looked more like a toy than a bathroom training device ... because that's basically all that was sold anywhere. the toy-like colors and squeaky botton made it a distraction, which made his training a little lengthier.

however, oddly enough, once he was nighttime trained, he had virtually no wet nights. our daughter, however, had occasional wet nights well into her 4's. both were potty trained before they were 3.
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:37 PM   #7
 
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Originally Posted by RedCatWaves View Post
In my experience, the daycare setting is probably the most helpful tool in pottytraining, because of the peer pressure to perform. If she's not responding to that, nothing you do at home is going to help much. I would think she's just not ready yet and I'd leave her be. To me, pottytraining is a 1 or 2 day thing...it doesn't take months and months of "training" to teach a child to use the potty. They know how to do it...they watch you and siblings and peers. They'll do it when they want to...and not a moment sooner.

ETA: I've potty trained 4 children...3 boys and 1 girl. The only one who did it at age 2 was my oldest son. The rest of them, even the girl, trained after age 3.
Maybe you can come up to Canada and potty train my DS.

He's been acting interested for a while, but he's not really aware that he pees. Sometimes he'll say "Poop" when he's actually pooped...but other times he says it, I think he's just telling me where poop comes from.

He sometimes wants to sit on the toilet. He knows that you use toilet paper to wipe and he knows you have to flush.

I'm getting a bit of pressure from SO to potty train our son, but I just don't think he's ready yet. He's not even 2.
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:14 AM   #8
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Is the little one very stubborn?
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don't push it...it will come back to haunt you
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Old 07-25-2008, 08:46 AM   #9
 
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just curious, what's the purpose of pullups? I mean, I'm sure parents did something before they were invented. Do they really help the transition or jut prolong it?
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Old 07-25-2008, 08:55 AM   #10
 
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just curious, what's the purpose of pullups? I mean, I'm sure parents did something before they were invented. Do they really help the transition or jut prolong it?
I've heard people say that they just prolong it because they are glorified diapers. I am interested in what the moms on here think.
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Old 07-25-2008, 09:33 AM   #11
 
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just curious, what's the purpose of pullups? I mean, I'm sure parents did something before they were invented. Do they really help the transition or jut prolong it?
to me, they were a good marketing idea that got someone a really good bonus at the huggies corporation!

they are a diaper without tabs. the idea behind the creative color-changing clues or whatever ploys they use is pointless, because in order for the colors to change on the designs, the baby would have to have begun to urinate and how many of toddlers are strong enough to stop the flow of urine to run to the toilet to finish? to me, this is going to happen, whether in pullups or cotton underwear. i'd rather save my money.

there is no getting around wet clothes or urine trickling down legs, or wet bedding during the potty training phase. what gets you through it is frequency and consistency in making them go, no matter how tired you or they are; patience, no matter how frustrated you get; and lots of pairs of training underwear so that you aren't caught running out of clean underwear.
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Old 07-25-2008, 09:41 AM   #12
 
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Oh gosh how I'm NOT looking forward to doing this again, but next year I will be here.

It's been a long time since I did it, but I learned you cannot make a child go before they're ready. Pushing them to meet a deadline is a recipe for frustration and disaster. My oldest (very competitive, still is) was trained by 2 1/2 and my second (very laid back, bit more spoiled) didn't get there until 3 1/2. She didn't mind sitting in wet/soiled underwear and that was that.

I never really understood the purpose of pullups. I mean if the child knows they can go in them and there are no consequences to that, what are they learning?
I totally agree with rainshower: they need to feel it running down their legs! Isn't that what happens to us if we miss?
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Old 07-25-2008, 10:05 AM   #13
 
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I didn't know what the role of pull-ups were when it was time for Kennedy to become potty trained...I just knew I was supposed to get them for the next step in training.

It's a waste of $ and it totally prolonged the process. I know so much more this time.
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Old 07-25-2008, 10:16 AM   #14
 
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just curious, what's the purpose of pullups? I mean, I'm sure parents did something before they were invented. Do they really help the transition or jut prolong it?
I think the point is that they look more like real underwear. I guess they think if the kids feel more grown up, they will want to act more grown-up. Obviously it sounds like that was an incorrect assumption.
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Old 07-25-2008, 10:38 AM   #15
 
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I never really understood the purpose of pullups. I mean if the child knows they can go in them and there are no consequences to that, what are they learning?
I totally agree with rainshower: they need to feel it running down their legs! Isn't that what happens to us if we miss?
I have to agree. We've been using pull up and while they are easier for me, they are delaying the process because there is no real reason for Lucy to pee in the potty.

She's been able to pee in the potty since she was about 20 months old, and she's prgressed a little, she's pretty much at the same level she was and she's now 25 months old. I believe it's because of the pull ups.

I've resisted going to cotton training pants because I don't want to deal with accidents, but I finally bought a few pairs. Within the next week or two I'm going to switch totally.

I think pull ups have a place, they're great if you're going out and don't want to deal with an accident, but I don't think they help with training at all.
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Old 07-25-2008, 12:15 PM   #16
 
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I have a friend who's been using Pull-ups at night on her boys since they were first potty-trained so she wouldn't have to mess with wet bedding. They're now 7 1/2 and 4, and still wearing them every night!

At some point, you've gotta deal with the accidents or start buying your kid Depends.
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Old 07-25-2008, 12:18 PM   #17
 
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They're now 7 1/2 and 4, and still wearing them every night!
They make them that big?
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Old 07-25-2008, 04:04 PM   #18
 
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We only used pull ups when my son was pee trained but not poop trained - he refused to poop in the potty for about three or four months after being pee trained. He would wear underwear, but ask for a pull up just to poop. Trust me, I tried to get him to use the potty but resulted in many tears for both of us, and when he started to hold it on purpose, I didn't want him to do that.
We also used pull ups at night for a while with him, I honestly didn't want to be woken up by wet bedding in the middle of the night and I didn't feel like washing sheets everyday.

When I bought him the "bigger" pull ups (the Good Nights for older kids with bed wetting problems) he didn't like them and just stopped wearing them on his own.

I will get some of the Gerber training pants and see if she wants to wear them. I know that she knows what's happening. Last night at my parents she was wearing a swim diaper, and said, "Uh oh! Pee pee!!!" and went. The swim diaper was all ready saturated, so naturally the pee went all over. But she knew what was happening, etc. It's just a matter of getting her to think it's her idea to go in the potty.

Should I put her potty chair away?
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Old 07-25-2008, 04:50 PM   #19
 
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I kinda forced my youngest child to pottytrain. He was REALLY resistant, and usually I would have just waited it out, but he was 3 years old and a heavy wetter. He peed through every diaper within minutes and I was really at my wit's end. I'm not a cloth-diaper afficianado, but for pottytraining, I do think cloth gives an advantage. So, what I did with him was to get rid of all the disposable diapers, and introduce him to his new big-underwear:



Bummis cloth training pants. They are absorbant enough to keep your floors/furniture dry if an accident occurs, but they do make the kid feel like they are wearing regular underwear. He didn't like giving up his diapers, but I didn't give him a choice. He moaned and complained, but I didn't give in. He decided he disliked them so much that he would pottytrain himself. Within a week of investing over $100 in the Bummis, he was day trained. It was worth the money. We did use them for night-times for a year after that though, so it wasn't much of a waste (I consider daytime and night-time pottytraining to be two distinctly different things).

Anyway...anyone considering pull-ups or cloth training pants should take a look at the Bummis. They are great, even if you don't like the idea of cloth diapering. They are more like underwear with extra padding. The kid really feels the wetness too, unlike pullups.

http://www.bummis.com/en/Products/co...iningPant.html
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Old 07-25-2008, 04:57 PM   #20
 
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OK, as a mom of four I'll toss in my two cents. Wait it out, do not push. Put the potty chair in the bathroom and let her "practice" sitting on it with her diaper on. You can also take her into the bathroom to watch you use the toilet. Let her pick the right time for her. I did this with all my kids and all four trained in one day. Two of my kids used to sit on the potty, fully dressed, to watch TV for weeks! I told them that when they were ready to use the potty we would go out and get big girl/boy underpants. My youngest decided he was ready in the middle of a driving thunder storm! My husband thought I was out of my mind going out but I had promised he could have any big boy pants he wanted when he was ready to use the potty. Trying to push the potty doesn't really train the child, it just trains you to "catch". She'll pick her own time. I always looked at it the same way I looked at walking. I couldn't "teach" my kids to walk by having the stand and giving them a "push" across the room. Potty training is a developmental task just as walking and talking are and the child will only do it when ready. Just set the stage by having a potty chair, letting her watch you, and be ready to drive to the store the second she says she is ready for big girl underpants. As I said I did it this way four times and each child was dry day and night from the time they said they were ready. Just remember, not matter what you do she'll be fully potty trained before she leaves for college. :toothy7
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