Tonight's the night

Kaia I was actually thinking about you as I lay in bed last night because I wondered if you were nursing both boys during the night.

I'm not totally sure how last night was. The first waking, I didn't hear much noise after about 5 minutes or so. I did hear several more wakings but it seemed like they quieted down after not too long too. I'm letting hubby sleep in now, so I'll get the full scoop when he wakes up.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
Kaia - J does that too - whacks me with his BIG, HARD head when he wants me to wake up - OUCH!

Pixie - thanks for the explanation. I can sympathize with you having had enough! As to "in this way", what I meant was - why did you decide to go cold turkey rather than gradually cut out one feeding at a time? (that's what I THINK I would do IF I decided to night wean, but maybe it's not as effective?) And you still plan to co-sleep with him after he is night weaned? I'd be interested to know if that actually works, especially when he sees you nursing the new baby. We had thought that once J is night-weaned there wouldn't be as much necessity to co-sleep, but I'd be interested in other possibilities.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











Oh, I see what you mean, cold turkey as opposed to gradual. We decided to go cold turkey because we think it would confuse Sol if we let him nurse sometimes when he wakes up at night but not others. We do plan to go back to cosleeping, once he gets good and used to hubby comforting him at night and not me. Hopefully after about a week I'll rejoin them. We're thinking of putting a twin mattress beside our queen so that he can have his own space a bit (and the queen's been getting tight for all three of us, which I think was contributing to the problems). My husband is saying I was such a pain to sleep with during my 3rd trimester last time that maybe I can have the twin then and they can share the queen.

I've still been putting Sol to sleep the past few nights and we also decided that it would be okay for me to join them in bed in the morning even if it means Sol drifts back to sleep while nursing. I think these both will be good in the meantime because I really really miss snuggling with him at night. I can feel a really noticeable difference after only two nights, and I ache to hold him during the day.

Oh, and I never posted the full report from hubby about last night - he said it was much better than the first night. I think there were 3 night wakings total, and one of them took 10 minutes or so while the others were pretty painless.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
Hang in there! Sounds like you're making progress. Your reasons for night-weaning are completely valid, and Solomon is old enough to start sleeping through the night. I agree with doing it cold-turkey for the reasons you stated (not that I've been in your situation, but that's what makes the most sense to me).
DH said there were 3-4 wakings last night, but he only cried at the first one (around midnight) for only 3 minutes. DH had gone to bed in the guest room with me, then went to Sol and picked him up and walked for a few minutes. All the other wakings, he didn't cry, and DH didn't have to get out of bed or pick him up. I went in at ~6:30 to join them, when I heard Sol wake up. He didn't nurse back to sleep but we snuggled and nursed and then all three of us played around in bed a bit before getting up at 7:30ish.

I think even the first waking will be easier once we get the twin mattress in there and DH can go to bed in there without worrying about waking him up. That way when Sol wakes up the first time, he won't be alone in the room. We have company coming next weekend so we'll need the twin then, but after that we're moving it.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
We had thought that once J is night-weaned there wouldn't be as much necessity to co-sleep, but I'd be interested in other possibilities.
Originally Posted by Amneris

I was wondering about that...as long as you're going to all the trouble to night-wean, why not go for the whole shebang and just put him in his own room?
Because we really enjoy sleeping with him. Also, if he's still going to wake and need one of us (even if it's not to nurse) it will be easier if he's in the room with us. Plus, we don't want to add the trauma of waking up all alone each time to what we're already putting him through.

Another bonus of cosleeping is that in the morning, we don't have to get up right away as soon as we hear him wake up. We can nurse and snuggle and goof around in bed for a bit. For me, it's a much more pleasant way to wake up in the morning.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
Because we really enjoy sleeping with him. Also, if he's still going to wake and need one of us (even if it's not to nurse) it will be easier if he's in the room with us. Plus, we don't want to add the trauma of waking up all alone each time to what we're already putting him through.

Another bonus of cosleeping is that in the morning, we don't have to get up right away as soon as we hear him wake up. We can nurse and snuggle and goof around in bed for a bit. For me, it's a much more pleasant way to wake up in the morning.
Originally Posted by PixieCurl

Yeah, but...you're already having him wake up alone by putting him to sleep in your room and then you and hubby both going to sleep in the guest room.

I'm all for goofing around in bed in the mornings. Huge fan. I used to send hubby to fetch them when they woke in the mornings and bring them to me to nurse and snuggle.
That's true, but before we started nightweaning, he'd often wake for the first time while we were still up anyway, so he'd be alone the first time. And once we get the twin mattress in there, DH will probably go to bed right in there when we're ready for bed so we don't have to worry about waking Sol.

Last night was not good. First night waking, around 10:45, was fine - didn't even cry, DH went right in and I didn't hear another peep. Woke up again around 11:45 and I also barely heard a peep. But then around 2:00 or so, he woke up crying and it took DH over an hour to get him back to sleep. He wasn't crying the whole time, but I could hear noise the whole time. I don't know what was wrong, DH is like a zombie this morning so I haven't asked for the synopsis yet. I heard him again around 5:30 just for a minute or so, then at 6:30 I heard him and went to bed to join them. Nursed and snuggled in bed for about an hour.

I feel so bad for DH because he has to go to work today. We knew it wouldn't be completely done in 3 nights, but we thought it would get easier and easier so that he'd be mostly rested by the time he had to go back to work.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
I got the scoop on the 2:00 AM waking. His diaper had leaked, so he woke up in a big wet spot. Then, when DH changed him, he woke up fully (instead of the usual half-waking in the middle of the night) and was pissed that he couldn't nurse back to sleep.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
Kudos to both of you for making it through the night.

We worked with Chas during my 2nd pregnancy on being comforted by daddy and not just mommy. It helped out a lot after Addison was born. I remember having a hard time sitting it out.

I hope last night was even better.
so pixie... what's the latest?
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











It's going pretty well. It's gotten to a point now where if/when he wakes at night, he doesn't cry and he either puts himself back to sleep or it takes my husband a very short time to get him back to sleep. The other night, he went to bed kind of late (around 10:30) but then slept through until 6:30, when I went in and joined them in bed and he fell back to sleep until 8:30. That was the first time he's EVER slept through the night.

The only part that's been hard is that I've been having a tougher time putting him to bed at night. I can nurse him to sleep relatively quickly, but then he WILL NOT let me unlatch and slip out like he used to. Maybe because he knows I won't be back until morning, he doesn't want to let me leave? So then I try to get him to sleep other ways, but it's a lot harder for me than for my husband. On Thursday night, I was in there with him for over an hour and was so frustrated that my husband relieved me and gave it a shot - he was out within 5 minutes, with no tears. Friday night my husband wasn't here and it took me a while, but I was eventually able to get him to sleep without nursing, which was a good sign. Last night we had been at a wedding, which I left early to pick him up at the sitter's, and he fell asleep in the car on the way home (which I was hoping for) and I was able to transfer him to bed with no problems, and he slept through most of the night after that.

Tonight we're starting to have DH put him to bed. After his bath I nursed him in another room, then DH took him into bed. It's been 15 minutes so far, but no crying or anything. Sol probably just thinks it's playtime. I think we're going to finally move the twin mattress in there tomorrow and hopefully have me back in the room pretty soon. I'm thinking if DH sleeps in the middle, it shouldn't be too bad.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
Pixie, how is it coming along? I'm thinking I will be ready to nightwean D very soon (he is starting to drive me insane and I'm becoming resentfull), and I'm trying to think of the best way to do this. Not sure if I want to go your way or the more gradual, mother-present Dr Gordon method. I do know Dylan will be majorly pissed! If I ever refuse to nurse him at night now, if I'm feeding E or just had enough, he screams like he's being skinned alive and then starts beating me and his brother. Ugh, I'm not looking forward to this. I'm hoping you'll tell me there's light at the end of this tunnel.
*Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
I'm really glad things are much better, Pixie. Good job!
Kaia, gradual and mother-present night-weaning is exactly what I'm interested in eventually - do you have a link to more info?
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











Amneris, here's a link to the Dr. Jay Gordon method: http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp


I PM'ed Kaia about this, but I may as well share with the board. We've actually backed off the nightweaning for a while. We were at it for a week and a half - and had some successful nights in there - but then all of a sudden, we had two VERY rough nights that made us realize that it just wasn't the right time, and that we weren't ready for it if it was going to be this hard on all of us. So now we're back to all sleeping together and me nursing Sol at night. It's hard and I'm often reminded of why we wanted to nightwean in the first place, but I'm trying to adjust my own attitude and stick with it a little longer.

If/when we do try again, we'll either try a modified version of the Dr. Gordon method (link above.... we'll modify by eliminating the "picking up" step and just cuddle/pat/rub him in bed, so it would be more like two stages than three) or some other method that involves me being present. I know some people who have had success by setting a nightlight on a timer and teaching the child that when the light is on, they can nurse, or that they can nurse only when Mr. Sun is up.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
That is an interesting link. I have never heard of him.

I am sorry night weaning didn't work out like you had planned.

I don't know if you do this or not, but I trained myself a long time ago not to count how many times a night I was up, or to even look at the clock through out the night. I find myself being much less resentful when I am not sure exactly how many times I have been awake.

I think nursing while pregnant is hard, my nipples were so sore. It always seems so much worse at night.

I hope you able to get some rest any way you can.
Awww, I'm sorry the nightweaning didn't work out.

I was never able to night wean. Day weaning (baby-led) came first both times. There's just something about the night time that made it so hard.

Hopefully you can get comfortable and try again when everyone feels ready.


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