Tonight's the night

DH has a 3-day weekend in honor of the holiday, so we begin nightweaning tonight. I have such mixed feelings, both relief and sadness, but we know it's time. Please send vibes that it's as painless as possible for all parties involved. Thanks in advance.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
YAY for Sol! Good Luck F!

D
Liam: 6 years old
Colin: 3 years old
Location: Williamsburg, Virginia
Member Since: August 2000
Big BIG hugs to you and your little guy, Pixie!

Its so hard to thinking about any aspect of weaning because you've been nursing since the moment you became a mother. But I think you will be surprised at how little changes after you night wean (except maybe the quality of your sleep).

I wish you guys sweet dreams tonight.


Wow, good luck. I hope everything goes well!!
What are your plans? Wear a turtleneck? Offer water? Let hubby handle it and you sleep elsewhere?
I just nursed him to sleep a little while ago, and now my husband is on the clock until tomorrow morning. Originally we were going to have me sleep in bed with them, and then say "nursies are sleeping" and have DH comfort him back to sleep, but my husband said it will be much easier if I'm not even in the room. The one time I was ever away at night, for my sister's bachelorette party until 2:30 AM, DH was able to get him to sleep and through two night wakings without TOO much trouble. But the few times when I've been in the room and tried to refuse nursing, he won't let DH comfort him and paws at me crying "Mama, mama" until I give in and nurse him.

I know he will fuss a bit. I hope it doesn't turn into full-fledged crying. But at least it's comforting to know that he will be in the arms of his daddy who loves him, and to whom he's very attached. He won't be able to have exactly what he wants, but he won't feel abandoned or alone either.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
Good luck! I hope the transition goes well and your family has many restful nights of sleep ahead, at least until Baby Pixie arrives.
Good luck, Pixie! It's hard for the first night or so, but Sol is smart. He'll figure it out quickly enough.
"Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas
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I hope everything went alright last night for you all!
The first night waking was heartbreaking, devastating, and every other awful word I can think of. After that, it wasn't too bad.

I had gotten him to sleep around 9:15, and he didn't wake up until 12:15, which is a good stretch for him. DH went to him and it took him 37 minutes to get him back to sleep. He held him, walked with him, sang to him. The first 15 minutes, Solomon cried HARD. I was crying in the guest room. At one point I even went to the door and slipped a piece of paper under it so DH would know I was right there if he changed his mind. But he did not. After the first 15 minutes, the crying died down. For the next 15, he alternated between silence, whimpers, and softer cries. After that, I didn't hear anything and it took DH 7 more minutes to get him to sleep.

Then he woke again at 1:45. I only heard him cry for a minute, then DH said it took about 15 to get him back to sleep. They fell asleep on the couch together.

Next waking at 4:15. Sol wasn't really crying, just sort of whimpering. DH took him to the bedroom and tried to lie down with him and rub his back, but Sol kept swatting him away. Finally, DH was so tired and he knew our bedroom is safe so he allowed himself to doze off. When he next looked, Sol was asleep beside him.

I next heard him between 7:00 and 7:30. Usually when Sol first wakes, he's a little grumpy, then nurses and drifts in and out of sleep for a while until he wakes in a great mood. We had agreed that I wouldn't nurse him until he was fully awake for the day because we didn't want him to get confused by falling asleep at the breast. So I waited to see if DH could get him back to sleep, and then I went in at 7:30. He gave me a big smile and said "Mama", which felt great because I knew he wasn't mad at me for not being there at night. I climbed in bed and nursed him. He didn't fall asleep, but we nursed and snuggled for darn near an hour.

My husband said that the good thing was that with the first waking, he was crying "Mama" and "nana" (what he says when he wants to nurse) but after that, he didn't say that anymore because he knew not to expect it.

Hopefully tonight will be easier. DH wants to take over putting him to bed too, to avoid confusion.

Thanks for all the vibes.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
Pixie, I'm glad it went better as you went along.

Why did you decide to take this approach?
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











Sounds like it went well for the first night...I know it is hard hearing them cry and not being able to be with them/give them what they want.

I think DH putting him to bed is a good idea, that way he can stop connecting nursing to sleeping altogether.--maybe you can nurse him, then read him a book or two, sing some songs, cuddle and then let DH take over.
Why did you decide to take this approach?
Originally Posted by Amneris
As I said before, my husband believed that it would be easier to not nurse him if I wasn't even in the room. If I'm there, he won't let my husband comfort him at all and will just try to climb all over me (or pull me onto my back, pull up my shirt, etc). And the time I was away part of the night, my husband said he didn't have too tough a time without me. Obviously the first waking last night was very tough for everyone, but I'm hoping that the worst is over now.

deezee - we're thinking something like that. Right now his bedtime routine is bath, change, bed; or if I'm not home from Yoga just yet DH will read him a few books after he's changed, until I get home. We're thinking that tonight after his bath, I'll nurse him in the glider in the nursery, then DH will take him into bed. I'm not worried about him crying at that point - he doesn't have a problem laying down with Daddy or anything like that, it just takes my husband a lot longer to get him to sleep. But my husband thinks completely removing me from the nighttime equation (for now) is the best way to get him used to not nursing.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
I think your approach is a good one. It was also be very useful that DH can put Sol to bed and handle his nightwakings so that when the baby comes, each one of you has a kid to look after. I wish we had worked on that more before DD was born - it ended up being me having to take care of both kids night wakings because DS had never gotten used to going to DH if he woke up at night.

Hope tonight will be even better!


Pixie... I meant, why did you decide to night wean at this time in this way? Sorry I wasn't more clear.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











mad scientist, that's what we're thinking. We want Sol to be used to my husband so that when the new baby comes, I can tend to the him/her at night while DH tends to Sol if needed.

Amneris, we decided to do it now because we've (mostly me) reached the end of our (my) rope. Lately it seems like Sol wants to stay latched on ALL NIGHT and I can't get comfortable. Plus he seems to be most comfortable sleeping on his tummy, so he wants me to be on my back so he can lay on his tummy across my body (nursing on the far breast) and it really hurts my growing belly when he lies like that - it's a little more tolerable if I pull him up on my ribcage but I won't be able to do it much longer. Most importantly, I know I won't be able to nurse him AND the new baby all night every night, so it needed to be done before the new baby comes. As hard as it was that first waking last night, I kept reminding myself that if we didn't do it now, we'd have to do it sometime in the next few months.

I'm not sure what you're asking by the second part of your question "in this way" - I think I explained that above?
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
Oh F, I teared up reading about you crying in the guest room and slipping a note under the door! That must have been so hard and heartbreaking!

Dylan is the same way as Sol in that he will not let daddy comfort him at night if I'm there. He will scream and paw at me, and if I ignore him (like if I'm nursing the baby), he will fling himself at me with all his might, which is actually really painful since he's a big boy with a very hard noggin. Luckily for me, the BABY is the one who sleeps through the night (usually wakes around 6 am to nurse and goes back to sleep), while Dylan is now waking 2-3 times a night to nurse. I hope tonight is easier for you and that he won't give you too much trouble when you come back to the family bed. Lots of hugs!
*Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin

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