The best way to choose ingredients/products is by hair properties. Here's a link to help you with yours Curly Hair Basics | Live Curly Live Free Once you determine your properties, look for others with hair like yours and see what they use.
3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic (now Hello Curly Curl Stimulater); Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me, Aloe Fix and CCCC
It's hard to give recommendations on products because everyone's hair is different, but I've been using the Krystal Eco Styling gel and I love it! It's not heavy, doesn't leave your hair crunchy/hard, and it doesn't flake.