The best way to choose ingredients/products is by hair properties. Here's a link to help you with yours Curly Hair Basics | Live Curly Live Free Once you determine your properties, look for others with hair like yours and see what they use.
3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic; Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me, Aloe Fix
It's hard to give recommendations on products because everyone's hair is different, but I've been using the Krystal Eco Styling gel and I love it! It's not heavy, doesn't leave your hair crunchy/hard, and it doesn't flake.