This ingredient is in several of my favorite internet purchased condtioners. It's such a pain to order all my hair products over the internet and shipping always costs a fortune unless I can find a "free shipping" special.
I know I'm taking a long shot here. Hope someone has some ideas.
I think the ingredient on the label is Behentrimonium Methosulfate (and) Cetearyl Alcohol. It might be abbreviated as BTMS or BTMS-50. It is an emulsifying agent and a conditioner. You can purchase BTMS and BTMS-50 at LotionCrafter's http://www.lotioncrafter.com/store/