Do you think you are better because you are natural?

curlistablog · 05-12-2009, 07:58 PM

I've had this discussion with a couple of people and wanted to get everyone's take on it. Because you've decided not to use relaxers, do you think you are better then women who tend to still rely on them? Some people believe its a war - relaxed vs naturals - thoughts?

bellecheveux · 05-12-2009, 08:32 PM

I don't think I'm better than anyone who is Relaxed.

I never understood why some Naturals become so militant and make other women feel bad for deciding to relax when a lot of Naturals were relaxed at one point. I've heard some Naturals say that black women who relax are trying to be "white" or don't love themselves.

I find those statements to be ridiculous. How can you place judgment on someone because of what they decide to do with their hair?

But I don't think anyone should rely on relaxing just for manageability. All hair can be tamed with the right products and techniques.

CurlyHead74 · 05-12-2009, 08:37 PM

I don't think I'm better than anyone relaxed or natural. I'm just a girl that used to be relaxed, learned about the benefits of being natural and love my new found curls

I have learned so much about hair in general since I began my journey...

CoaCoaBean08 · 05-12-2009, 08:47 PM

no i dont think im "better" than anyone.

however i have said before that i do see going natural as more of a liberation from an oppressed mindset and conformity that so many people blindly follow. i do see going natural as more than choice in hairstyle for many women (though not all). when we black women are taught from childhood that certain types of hair are "bad" and must be dealt with, hair is so much more than just hair in our culture. i feel like the typical view of kinky hair in the black community is one of self hatred and denial of your own true beauty, including those kinks on your head. and yes i do feel like it speaks volumes when so many black women would want to imitate the types of hair more commonly associated with other races. that bothers me. to feel like one type of hair is better than another is the thing i have a problem with. i dont mind people getting relaxers but that is usually coupled with this typical mentality in my opinion and observations.

so better as in i am superior? no. but i do think i am free from a lot of the oppressive negative beliefs on kinky hair that many black women who relax their hair are still burdened with. i have friends who are no more or less than me as people that wear weaves and relaxers, even some that think just like me which is confusing!!

bellecheveux · 05-12-2009, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoaCoaBean08

no i dont think im "better" than anyone.

however i have said before that i do see going natural as more of a liberation from an oppressed mindset and conformity that so many people blindly follow. i do see going natural as more than choice in hairstyle for many women (though not all). when we black women are taught from childhood that certain types of hair are "bad" and must be dealt with, hair is so much more than just hair in our culture. i feel like the typical view of kinky hair in the black community is one of self hatred and denial of your own true beauty, including those kinks on your head. and yes i do feel like it speaks volumes when so many black women would want to imitate the types of hair more commonly associated with other races. that bothers me. to feel like one type of hair is better than another is the thing i have a problem with. i dont mind people getting relaxers but that is usually coupled with this typical mentality in my opinion and observations.

so better as in i am superior? no. but i do think i am free from a lot of the oppressive negative beliefs on kinky hair that many black women who relax their hair are still burdened with. i have friends who are no more or less than me as people that wear weaves and relaxers, even some that think just like me which is confusing!!

I love your response! I agree with you on the "good hair" vs. "bad hair" thing. My family said that my hair was too coarse and that I HAD to relax, but I thought that was stupid. I love every kink and coil on my head and I'll be damned if someone tells me my hair is bad.

missmarche · 05-12-2009, 09:15 PM

I don't think I'm better, but I am inclined to think I enjoy life a little bit more than some of my relaxed friends -- I revel in swimming at the beach, I don't worry about running from the rain, I don't avoid going out on certain days because my hair "ain't acting right." I also noticed that I treat my hair as a friend, not as an enemy, and that being comfortable with my curls translates into being comfortable with myself as a whole.

But I must add... you can be relaxed and just as comfortable and happy with yourself -- I have a few close friends who are.

cayisha_azul · 05-12-2009, 09:22 PM

Yes, I do. I believe that it is important to embrace what the creator gave us. Back in the day, because of slavery, people felt like lighter skin was better. Darker people were made fun of relentlessly. Now things have gotten better and it is socially unacceptable to avoid the sun because you might get "darker" or use skin lightning cream. Because those actions expose a poisoned mindset of what is beautiful and acceptable. Dark is beautiful, natural is beautiful. [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']All races, skin tones, and hair types are unique and beautiful in their own way. I believe that people who wear their hair natural have a higher sense of self in this one aspect of life. That being said, it is not right to have a self righteous attitude. I try to be a respectful advocate of self acceptance. Natural is not just a choise of hairstyle for me, it is a mindset. (Just my opinion.)[/font]

RMichelleM · 05-12-2009, 09:25 PM

RMichelleM · 05-12-2009, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cayisha_azul

Yes, I do. I believe that it is important to embrace what the creator gave us. Back in the day, because of slavery, people felt like lighter skin was better. Darker people were made fun of relentlessly. Now things have gotten better and it is socially unacceptable to avoid the sun because you might get "darker" or use skin lightning cream. Because those actions expose a poisoned mindset of what is beautiful and acceptable. Dark is beautiful, natural is beautiful. [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']All races, skin tones, and hair types are unique and beautiful in their own way. I believe that people who wear their hair natural have a higher sense of self in this one aspect of life. That being said, it is not right to have a self righteous attitude. I try to be a respectful advocate of self acceptance. Natural is not just a choise of hairstyle for me, it is a mindset. (Just my opinion.)[/font]

those two bolded statements are in conflict.

Suburbanbushbabe · 05-12-2009, 09:56 PM

Better? No. A war? No. It's just a part of who I am. Women with relaxed hair, it's a part of who they are. There's room for both -- until naturals rule the universe

squirrely_curly · 05-12-2009, 10:22 PM

better? no
i just feel like im embracing my blackness
i love my poofy hair and i can't wait till my big chop
so i can release the fro

as far as those who relax i dont look down on them
or asume theyr all trying to be "white" i honestly think most black women dont know how to care for their hair, so relaxing is easiest not mention a cultural,mainstream look. i figure you can go natural and if you want the sleek look flatiron or roller set your hair. but black women need to appreciate the beauty in thier natural hair too.

squirrely_curly · 05-12-2009, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RMichelleM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cayisha_azul

Yes, I do. I believe that it is important to embrace what the creator gave us. Back in the day, because of slavery, people felt like lighter skin was better. Darker people were made fun of relentlessly. Now things have gotten better and it is socially unacceptable to avoid the sun because you might get "darker" or use skin lightning cream. Because those actions expose a poisoned mindset of what is beautiful and acceptable. Dark is beautiful, natural is beautiful. [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']All races, skin tones, and hair types are unique and beautiful in their own way. I believe that people who wear their hair natural have a higher sense of self in this one aspect of life. That being said, it is not right to have a self righteous attitude. I try to be a respectful advocate of self acceptance. Natural is not just a choise of hairstyle for me, it is a mindset. (Just my opinion.)[/font]

those two bolded statements are in conflict.

haha i completely missed that
very observant;or you have better reading comprehension skills

Kynnib · 05-12-2009, 10:26 PM

Better than the individual person, no. Im not going to lie though, my hair looks better than 95% percent of women that have relaxers, its thicker, darker, shinier and has more body.

laniseworks · 05-12-2009, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoaCoaBean08

no i dont think im "better" than anyone.

however i have said before that i do see going natural as more of a liberation from an oppressed mindset and conformity that so many people blindly follow. i do see going natural as more than choice in hairstyle for many women (though not all). when we black women are taught from childhood that certain types of hair are "bad" and must be dealt with, hair is so much more than just hair in our culture. i feel like the typical view of kinky hair in the black community is one of self hatred and denial of your own true beauty, including those kinks on your head. and yes i do feel like it speaks volumes when so many black women would want to imitate the types of hair more commonly associated with other races. that bothers me. to feel like one type of hair is better than another is the thing i have a problem with. i dont mind people getting relaxers but that is usually coupled with this typical mentality in my opinion and observations.

so better as in i am superior? no. but i do think i am free from a lot of the oppressive negative beliefs on kinky hair that many black women who relax their hair are still burdened with. i have friends who are no more or less than me as people that wear weaves and relaxers, even some that think just like me which is confusing!!

I really like this response

I def dont think I'm better. Its a personal choice for me and I agree that is a freedom from conformity and an expression of insight and love. Thats not to say everyone with a perm/relaxer is trying conform to mainstream ideals of beauty. But I'd venture to say almost all natural women are fighting against those prescribed norms/beauty standards, at least in regard to hair.
To each their own

bellecheveux · 05-12-2009, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RMichelleM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cayisha_azul

Yes, I do. I believe that it is important to embrace what the creator gave us. Back in the day, because of slavery, people felt like lighter skin was better. Darker people were made fun of relentlessly. Now things have gotten better and it is socially unacceptable to avoid the sun because you might get "darker" or use skin lightning cream. Because those actions expose a poisoned mindset of what is beautiful and acceptable. Dark is beautiful, natural is beautiful. [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']All races, skin tones, and hair types are unique and beautiful in their own way. I believe that people who wear their hair natural have a higher sense of self in this one aspect of life. That being said, it is not right to have a self righteous attitude. I try to be a respectful advocate of self acceptance. Natural is not just a choise of hairstyle for me, it is a mindset. (Just my opinion.)[/font]

those two bolded statements are in conflict.

Maybe she thinks that natural hair is better than relaxed hair, but having a "I'm better than you" attitude isn't. That's what I got from that...

RMichelleM · 05-12-2009, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bellecheveux

Quote:

Originally Posted by RMichelleM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cayisha_azul

Yes, I do. I believe that it is important to embrace what the creator gave us. Back in the day, because of slavery, people felt like lighter skin was better. Darker people were made fun of relentlessly. Now things have gotten better and it is socially unacceptable to avoid the sun because you might get "darker" or use skin lightning cream. Because those actions expose a poisoned mindset of what is beautiful and acceptable. Dark is beautiful, natural is beautiful. [FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']All races, skin tones, and hair types are unique and beautiful in their own way. I believe that people who wear their hair natural have a higher sense of self in this one aspect of life. That being said, it is not right to have a self righteous attitude. I try to be a respectful advocate of self acceptance. Natural is not just a choise of hairstyle for me, it is a mindset. (Just my opinion.)[/font]

those two bolded statements are in conflict.

Maybe she thinks that natural hair is better than relaxed hair, but having a "I'm better than you" attitude isn't. That's what I got from that...

the question was:

"Because you've decided not to use relaxers, do you think you are better then women who tend to still rely on them? "

her answer was:

"Yes, I do."

bellecheveux · 05-12-2009, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RMichelleM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bellecheveux

Quote:

Originally Posted by RMichelleM

those two bolded statements are in conflict.

Maybe she thinks that natural hair is better than relaxed hair, but having a "I'm better than you" attitude isn't. That's what I got from that...

the question was:

"Because you've decided not to use relaxers, do you think you are better then women who tend to still rely on them? "

her answer was:

"Yes, I do."

I got the question, I was just assuming maybe that's what she meant. LOL. But I guess we should await her response...

RMichelleM · 05-12-2009, 10:46 PM

maybe it was... fine then i'll wait lol

mariag002 · 05-12-2009, 10:58 PM

I don't feel like I'm better than anyone because my hair is natural. I feel liberated, happy, confident, in love

, ecstatic, independent, well informed, etc ... I could go on and on.. but not better than anyone else.

Like I said before and I'll say it again, never in my life did I think going natural was going to be so complicated and deep

mariag002 · 05-13-2009, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curlistablog

I've had this discussion with a couple of people and wanted to get everyone's take on it. Because you've decided not to use relaxers, do you think you are better then women who tend to still rely on them? Some people believe its a war - relaxed vs naturals - thoughts?

Check out this story on Clutch Magazine online about the whole Natural vs Relaxed "war" Very interesting read

http://clutchmagonline.com/lifecultu...hair-battle/#1