My mom just doesn't understand... :(

kinky-girl · 10-03-2009, 09:57 AM

I've been transitioning for about 4 months now. Through those 4 months I've been 'ify' about transitioning but now I'm totally sure. So today I officially announced I was ditching my perm.

She laughed and said when my hair gets all kinky and ugly, I'll want my perm back. She just doesn't get it!

Has anyone gone through anything similar?

NoraCurl · 10-03-2009, 11:53 AM

I've definitely been in a ton of similar situations, especially with my mom and uncle. They always think that straight hair is the "normal" hair! I don't wanna be normal!!! One time, my mom said to my face on the first day of school "Your hair is okay hair, but straight hair is pretty hair" and it made me soo freaking mad and I was thinking, Yeah, way to boost someone's self-esteem! And coming from a person who always fights her own waves once a week! But, my uncle is my biggest problem. If my hair is any more than wavy, he starts referring to it as "kinky." He's all like "Nora, your hair's getting kinky again, you need to straighten it." In my mind I'm just like, Screw you. You don't even know the REAL difference between kinky and curly, and even if you did, what sort of insult would jump out of your mouth then? Huh?! So, yeah, no matter how guilty they make you feel, DO NOT listen to them! Just do whatever you want with your hair, even if it's wearing a mohawk. People respect self-confidence, you know!

SCREW THEM H8TAS!!!!

kinky-girl · 10-03-2009, 02:04 PM

exactly! someone actually gets it

Jamtastic Voyage! · 10-04-2009, 03:46 PM

Blah. My mother's the same way.

She says she's "tired of having to explain to everyone what's wrong with my hair"

But the only times she says this is when I spend the night at my grandma's house, with like 4th day hair, no satin pillow, no products (basically.. really bad hair day coming ahead!)

Man, if she wasn't the woman who feeds, clothes, houses, and gave birth to me.. I'd give her a piece of my mind for sure.

You just gotta brush it off for now. As long as you have support and info from NC, you can rest assured that once you have that full head of gorgeous curly hair, you won't even remember what your mother said. (and if you do, rub it in her face! C:< )

Fresh4thefuture · 10-10-2009, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jamtastic Voyage!

Blah. My mother's the same way.

She says she's "tired of having to explain to everyone what's wrong with my hair"

But the only times she says this is when I spend the night at my grandma's house, with like 4th day hair, no satin pillow, no products (basically.. really bad hair day coming ahead!)

Man, if she wasn't the woman who feeds, clothes, houses, and gave birth to me.. I'd give her a piece of my mind for sure.

You just gotta brush it off for now. As long as you have support and info from NC, you can rest assured that once you have that full head of gorgeous curly hair, you won't even remember what your mother said. (and if you do, rub it in her face! C:< )

I KNOW RIGHT!!!!!!

Sandi · 10-11-2009, 11:52 AM

My mom is actually supportive of me, but that's because she's a fellow curly/wavy. The problem is, she doesn't get why normal people need products. Somehow, throughout her life, she uses nothing, and hair looks the same everyday; no bad hair days. So, I constantly fight with her over products...
If your parents are unable to accept your hair now, then we'll see about later. You can rub your healthy, shiny, curly hair in her face after you transition.

PeacexPassion · 10-11-2009, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandi

My mom is actually supportive of me, but that's because she's a fellow curly/wavy. The problem is, she doesn't get why normal people need products. Somehow, throughout her life, she uses nothing, and hair looks the same everyday; no bad hair days. So, I constantly fight with her over products...
If your parents are unable to accept your hair now, then we'll see about later. You can rub your healthy, shiny, curly hair in her face after you transition.

MINES THE SAME WAY! like she just seems to get by without any product at all, but if i try that I'm more of a frizz ball mess than usual!

But don't worry about your parents, it's YOUR hair, not theirs, and they won't have to deal with the long term stress of continuing the perm, i have a feeling your hair will look fab without it anyway

misztawana · 10-11-2009, 04:49 PM

I'm 15 i my mom felt the same way toward me going natural but i was so determined to go natural nd i told my mom when you were younger you had the jerry curls nd afros why cant i make a dissusion with my hair for my own and my own experience. I am 8 months into transition and i plan on transitioning for 1 year and a half or more and now my mom is behind me all the way i love her that. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MY NATURAL HAIR. I have my friends and other people doubting me put i have my eye on the prize so i block them out. TELL YOUR MOM TO GO WITH YOU TO SEE THE MOVIE "GOOD HAIR" THAT MIGHT HELP THE SITUATION.. THE KEY IS DONT GIVE UP CUS THERE WILL BETIMES THAT YOU WANT TO BUT DONT.

KEEP YOUR HEAD UP

boingycurls · 11-07-2009, 08:59 AM

My mom is supportive of anything i want to do with my hair. she went to beauty school so whenever i want to dye or cut it i dont go to the salon, i tell her. well, this used to work well...but right before school started *end of august* i told her i wanted long layers in my hair *at that point it was an inch or two past my shoulders* and she chops it up to a little above my shoulders and put s in short layers. this wouldnt sound like a huge deal, but my hair looks horrible and i worked so hard to get it long because it grows very very slowly.. GRR! i'm barely to my shoulders now and ticked off as ever.

momoaries · 11-07-2009, 11:45 AM

I told my mom when I was first transitioning that I was growing my perm out and going natural...and she said "Don't do that"...just like that...Me and my mom are like best friends and she is very supportive but if I'm doing something just dead wrong she will speak on it...so I was just shocked that she was so certain that I shouldn't allow my hair to be...I mean its just hair and it's mine...
We live in different states, so the first time she saw me during my transition I had my hair flat-ironed for my wedding and she said to me..."okay...its time for a perm now..." I was like..."wow"...and from that point I haven't said anything else to her about my hair...which is akward, because like I said we are best friends and we talk about everything, so not being able to talk with her about something that is so important to me is kind of sad...but the point is that this is my hair and she made the decisions for me regarding my hair when I was younger but its all up to me now and I choose what is done to it...no one else...