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11-03-2009, 08:56 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,021
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Relationship drama and formal events
If you were to break up with someone two weeks before a formal event to which that person was to be your date, and at which your previous ex would be with the woman he cheated on you with, would you:
a) Find another date as quickly as possible and use this event as a springing board for a random hook-up;
b) Ask a friend to escort you, even though it's clear you're not dating and therefore you'll give the first ex the satisfaction of knowing you still can't keep someone's interest for very long;
c) Apologize to the guy you just broke up with, ask him to be your date for that one night, even if you never see him again afterwards;
d) Apologize to the guy you broke up with, ask him to be your date for that one night, have awesome make-up sex, repeat dysfunctional cycle; or
e) Go alone, look fabulous, avoid all exes at all costs, lick self esteem wounds afterwards in private.
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póg mo thóin
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11-03-2009, 09:03 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6,122
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Stay home, sweets, and enjoy a pint of ice cream or wine.
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I am the new Black.
nd my "" key keeps sticking! So if my posts seem off (more so thn usul), tht's why! LOL...
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11-03-2009, 09:05 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,498
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A, B, or C depending on the circumstances of the break-up.
I don't think B is bad. The ex doesn't have to know you're not dating. I know the "correct" answer is E, but it is more about long-term as opposed to sweet and instant gratification.
I love your posts btw--- they are so funny and witty.
Phoenix's answer is good, but it would basically be admitting defeat.
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3b/3c
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11-03-2009, 09:08 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 10,959
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I would try for a. If not, e.
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11-03-2009, 09:10 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,021
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Additional information:
I'd been dating the new guy for just a couple of months. I broke up with him this past weekend because I sensed he was starting the "fade" -- claiming to have too much on his plate, using text messages and Skype chat as primary forms of communication, canceling plans last minute, etc. I asked him if he was still interested in me, he claimed he was, but I didn't really want to be bothered with someone I couldn't count on to show up.
We had already planned to go to this ball, and I had already purchased the tickets and made hotel reservations. The fade guy will not attend if he's not my date. I have a really big interest in saving face -- my primary motivation for even considering a brief truce with the fade guy is so I don't have to spend the night watching the old ex fawn all over his geisha and smirk at me throughout the night.
Yes, we really are in junior high, no need to make comments about our maturity level. 
ETA: Unfortunately, I did not perform the break-up in the most gracious manner. I made some ugly accusations, and although they were most likely true (I didn't give him the chance to defend himself), I should have held my tongue until we could talk in private (we were at a party when I lost my temper, although I didn't make a scene and I'm pretty sure nobody else heard). The next day, he de-friended me from Facebook, blocked me on Skype, and ignored the phone. This may complicate any apology effort, and I still think I made the right call to walk away, but I do regret how I went about it -- and I really do like him a lot.
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póg mo thóin
Last edited by Anthro Incarnate : 11-03-2009 at 09:19 PM.
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11-03-2009, 09:14 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 10,959
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Well that's what I was gonna ask about the recent guy. If it was only 2 months and you think u can hook up again and not repeat a bad cycle and/or it's not painful for you to go through it, then I would consider asking him.
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11-03-2009, 09:24 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 31,654
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Saria...you should have been here when Anthro wrote about her krazy roomies! 
ita Phoenix... 
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Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between RCW & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
Where sons are concerned, they think the sun shines out of their ass. ~ jl
To alcohol, the cause of --- and solution to --- all of life's problems. ~Sairis[Homer]
Add Yourself To The Curly Map!
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11-03-2009, 09:28 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,041
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I was in a similar situation and chose option b. I'm glad I did. I really just wasn't strong enough to go solo. I had a lot of fun and my friend was super attentive and an awesome support to me throughout the night.
Also, my db ex's new girl ended up getting wasted and made an ass of herself (and him). That is all the gratification I needed. 
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naturally 3b/3c/4a
Explanation by the tongue makes most things clear, but love unexplained is clearer. ~ Rumi
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11-03-2009, 09:56 PM
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#9
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Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 4,097
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Forget the old ex and new ex and grab a great male friend to go with you. Look fabulous and have a great time.
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To Get What You've Never Had, You Have To Do What You've Never Done.....
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11-03-2009, 10:01 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 11,743
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b.
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For liberal outside agitators:
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11-03-2009, 10:20 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 7,531
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Democracy is not a spectator sport.
You know why pandas are endangered? Cause pandas ain't got no game.
Jesus loves you, but I'm his favorite.
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11-03-2009, 10:23 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,420
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Which version of events would be most genuinely fun for you? The one that will provide the most belly laughs. The one that will let you rise above the situation. Do that one.
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My Holy Grail Routine, and it only took 5 years to figure out: wash DevaCurl No-Poo or Jessicurl HCC; regular vinegar rinses condish Back to Basics Pomegranate or Elucence MB leave-in AOHR style JC RR+CCSS DT Joico K-Pak and no other
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11-03-2009, 10:39 PM
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#13
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 20,525
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This. Go with a real friend, not a half-boyfriend.
Be gracious to ex's new woman, and offer to buy her a couple of (very strong) drinks so she gets trashy wasted and pukes in his car.
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I'm pretty angry that the House passed an anti-choice measure that would essentially eliminate insurance coverage for abortion in the new system. Health reform is important, but no one should lose coverage in the new system.
I just asked my senators to stand strong against a similar attack in the Senate. Will you do the same?
WriteYourSenator
Thanks for standing up for women!
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11-03-2009, 11:22 PM
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#14
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 118
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11-03-2009, 11:59 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,639
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Some of my guy friends and I are often emergency dates for each other, because we ALWAYS have fun. And since we love each other without romantic interest, we're all able to deal with any ex drama or emotions which may arise with sympathy and no jealousy. If you have a guy friend like that, take him. If not, go alone and have a BLAST. Or find some hot thing to play with for the night.
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The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
-Speckla
The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair says,
Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair
I'll have to find another tower somewhere
and keep away from the windows
'Cause I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried 'bout the maiden though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing
-Sara Bareilles, "Fairytale"
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11-04-2009, 10:00 AM
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#16
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,506
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B or E.
I know it's hard to do but don't worry about how the ex views you. He's in the past.
Just curious but is this the National Debutante Ball over Thanksgiving weekend??
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<insert signature line here>
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11-04-2009, 10:18 AM
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#17
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,139
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B
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11-04-2009, 12:53 PM
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#18
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,653
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B or E. Don't call the guy back to apologize if it's only to have him as your date for the evening. That would be really unfair.
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Brooklyn, NY
Hair: 3A/3B? (you tell me!) Underlayer of 2B
DevaCurl OneC, No Poo; BRHG; CK; Re:coil; Honey!!!; Curl Junkie Hibiscus & Banana leave-in, fine;
fotki pw= crrrls
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11-04-2009, 03:41 PM
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#19
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 10,496
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rent one LOL
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3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG
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11-04-2009, 05:13 PM
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#20
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,065
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NetG: my guy friends and I use the term "designated date"
I agree with this, or take a close girlfriend. Have some wine and flirt your a$$'s off. You never know who you'll meet at this thing. |
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