|
|
 |
|
11-03-2009, 10:15 PM
|
#1
|
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,496
|
Dating a co-worker question...
Some of you may know I just started a new job 2 months ago. There's a guy I work with who I immediately hit it off with when I first started, and he's about 7 years older, which is nothing IMO since I typically always date older guys.
We've been friends since I started and I've always had the idea he liked me (especially when he kinda tried to kiss me when we went out with a bunch of people one night).
So he and went out for drinks after work tonight and it went really well, actually VERY well as far as "first dates" go. We have so much in common, honestly WAY more than any other guy I've dated recently, which is very nice and refreshing. I've been out with a lot of d-bags (for lack of a better term) and it's nice to be able to talk to someone for once...
However, he is totally not my type physically. I always go for very tall, cute, baby-faced, "all-American" guys. This guy is pretty average height and has a very strong, distinct look. It's totally not what I typically go for in looks, but I'm still thinking this could work...
I guess I have 2 questions:
1. What are your thoughts on dating a co-worker in general?
2. What are your opinions on dating someone outside of your physical "type"?
__________________
3a/3b mix
5 year HG's:
-L'oreal Nature's Therapy Mega Moisture creme
-Ouidad Climate Control gel
|
|
|
|
11-03-2009, 10:41 PM
|
#2
|
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 20,525
|
I think dating co-workers is fine. Lots of people meet their life partners at work.
Sounds like you are very attracted to him. So what if he doesn't meet your former "type". Just go with it.
__________________
I'm pretty angry that the House passed an anti-choice measure that would essentially eliminate insurance coverage for abortion in the new system. Health reform is important, but no one should lose coverage in the new system.
I just asked my senators to stand strong against a similar attack in the Senate. Will you do the same?
WriteYourSenator
Thanks for standing up for women!
|
|
|
|
|
11-03-2009, 10:42 PM
|
#3
|
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 31,653
|
1) Bad idea.
2) Good idea.
__________________
 
Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between RCW & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
Where sons are concerned, they think the sun shines out of their ass. ~ jl
To alcohol, the cause of --- and solution to --- all of life's problems. ~Sairis[Homer]
Add Yourself To The Curly Map!
|
|
|
|
|
11-03-2009, 10:45 PM
|
#4
|
Join Date: Jul 1999
Posts: 25,929
|
Does he report to you? Do you report to him? Do you have to work together every day? If you break up, is it going to negatively affect your work? Or for that matter, if you stay together is it going to negatively affect your work?
And maybe most importantly, does your company have a written policy against coworkers dating?
Just some things to think about, but you know, if your company doesn't have a policy against it, go for it. 
__________________
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Rock on with your bad self.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Be excellent to each other. ~ Abraham Lincoln
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Last edited by PartyHair : 11-03-2009 at 10:51 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
11-03-2009, 10:47 PM
|
#5
|
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 8,997
|
1. I think caution should be exercised. If things don't go well in the relationship, is it going to make things complicated at work? I would take it slow, get to know him.
2. Why not?
__________________
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.
Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
|
|
|
|
|
11-03-2009, 10:54 PM
|
#6
|
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,498
|
If you are physically attracted to him, I don't see why there is any issue with him not being your type. I get the sense that your attraction is on an intellectual and emotional level, but not a physical one. For me, there needs to be physical attraction, but maybe it isn't the case for you?
If you're both equals, it makes it easier, but dating co-workers can be extremely messy.
__________________
3b/3c
|
|
|
|
|
11-03-2009, 11:06 PM
|
#7
|
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 4,097
|
There are people who do meet on their jobs. Yes, it can get messy, if things don't work out, because you still have to be around each other everyday.
I agree with Geeky as far as taking time to get to know each other. Get to know him better before getting romantically, sexually involved. It sounds to me like this is all happening pretty quickly. Are you and the other coworkers going out for drinks after work? Alcohol can cloud your mind.
__________________
To Get What You've Never Had, You Have To Do What You've Never Done.....
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 12:03 AM
|
#8
|
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,639
|
I agree with the work related comments. It can be dangerous, and don't do it if either of you do or may report to the other or it will keep you from doing your job. But unless the company forbids it, don't stay away just because you work together.
As for "type." Sure sounds like he's your type, regardless of who you have been into in the past. If you're attracted, you're attracted, and trying to claim the person you're attracted to is wrong because he doesn't look like someone you've been attracted to in the past is silly!
__________________
The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
-Speckla
The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair says,
Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair
I'll have to find another tower somewhere
and keep away from the windows
'Cause I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried 'bout the maiden though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing
-Sara Bareilles, "Fairytale"
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 12:05 AM
|
#9
|
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 11,715
|
1. I met my husband at work.
2. My husband is not my physical "type."
We exercised a great deal of caution before we started dating. We did stuff as friends for several months before we officially started dating and we never told anyone at work that there was anything going on between the two of us. It can work but it can be messy if/when you break up.
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 12:18 AM
|
#10
|
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 125
|
Agreed.
And for every couple I know that met and married through work, I probably know two or three horror stories of dating coworkers. Just be careful before starting. Lots of good posts on this thread.
__________________
formerly COH (Curls On Holiday)
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 12:51 AM
|
#11
|
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 7,217
|
if you enter into a relationship with him, please treat him very well and if you should break up, do it amicably so that going to work isn't uncomfortable should the relationship end.
eta,
i would wait a while and get to know everyone really well. you don't really know him. dating him so soon could reflect negatively on you.
Last edited by frau : 11-04-2009 at 12:53 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 09:55 AM
|
#12
|
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,506
|
1. Definitely exercise caution and go slow. Breakups when you can't get away from the ex are exponentially harder than the opposite. I made it my policy to not date in the workplace but never was into any of my coworkers.
2. Good idea. You may be surprised. As long as attraction doesn't feel forced, I think it's a great idea!
__________________
<insert signature line here>
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 10:02 AM
|
#13
|
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 13,630
|
I dated people from work a few times, sometimes it worked out okay and we parted amicably, other times I felt that I needed to just find a new job to get away from him, since the relationship ended horribly. So, just be careful. I think it can work out great for people, but it can also be a huge mistake.
My husband is out of the physical type I was used to dating - he also wasn't the typical d-bag I was used to dating either, so maybe the two went hand in hand.
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 11:16 AM
|
#14
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,255
|
__________________
BC: cut BSL locs/shaved head 1/09; LOIS (OS); cottony; no -cones 
shampoo: dr bronner or shampoo bars
conditioner: tj nourish, tigi moisture maniac or oatmeal honey, kenra, aohr
leave-in/styler: oyin honey hemp, oyin juice & berries, ecostyler clear (replaced kccc)
moisturize/sealants: raw, unrefined shea butter, tucuma butter
other faves: honey, ayurvedic herbs
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 01:58 PM
|
#15
|
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,653
|
#1- Generally not the best idea, but I do know several people who married co-workers. Just proceed with caution.
#2- If you're attracted to him, what should it matter if he's not your "type"?
__________________
Brooklyn, NY
Hair: 3A/3B? (you tell me!) Underlayer of 2B
DevaCurl OneC, No Poo; BRHG; CK; Re:coil; Honey!!!; Curl Junkie Hibiscus & Banana leave-in, fine;
fotki pw= crrrls
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 02:02 PM
|
#16
|
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,046
|
1. I personally would not date a co-worker. The potential for drama and office gossip combined with having to see each other if things don't work out seems too risky. Unless you work for a large company where you are not likely to run into each other or mutual acquaintences, I wouldn't do it.
2. Go for it!
__________________
Loose botticelli curls and waves
No silicones/no sulfates since March 2008
Last edited by LoloDSM : 11-04-2009 at 03:41 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 02:54 PM
|
#17
|
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,077
|
1. Don't get laid where you get paid. Don't do it. There are two people u should never date....neighbors and coworkers. If the relationship goes badly, both can make your life miserable.
2. As far as him not being your "type" obviously you said you have been dating a lot of "d-bags" lately. Doesn't sound like your usual "type" is working out too well. Its seems u are attracted to him, so I think the "type" thing is a none issue.
__________________
Extremely thick, kinky curls/coils that have a mind of thier own!!!!
_____________________________
I like my men and my hair....KINKY!!!!
check out my blog: http://napskinkscoilsandcurls.blogspot.com/
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 03:50 PM
|
#18
|
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 31,653
|
__________________
Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between RCW & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
Where sons are concerned, they think the sun shines out of their ass. ~ jl
To alcohol, the cause of --- and solution to --- all of life's problems. ~Sairis[Homer]
Add Yourself To The Curly Map!
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 05:27 PM
|
#19
|
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 10,959
|
I hardly ever date my physical 'type'. Attraction is more important.
As for work, it depends. I think if it's the potential for a life partner, yea I would. It's easier to find a job than a good guy in my opinion. And know that you will probably have to switch jobs. I know a few couples that have met at work, switched jobs and got married.
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2009, 06:34 PM
|
#20
|
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,094
|
So, I work at a HUGE institution. Over 2000 employees, I believe. I date people I meet at work because I spend a TON of time there and these are the people with whom I have the most in common. That being said, I've imposed some very explicit limits on who I will/won't date:
- No dating anyone who works in my department
- No dating anyone who works outside my department but has the possibility of being my superior or my direct supervisee
- No dating anyone with whom I could potentially have to interact on a daily basis in order to get my job done.
- No dating anyone significantly below me on the totem pole
These were just the things that make sense to me.
__________________
Type 2c/3a - officially a PJ, modified CG since 4/26/08
Products: TJs Nourish conditioner, SheaM leave-in, BSRHG (HG!), Generic KPak for protein, DT weekly with Nourish, Olive Oil, Honey mixture
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Thread Tools |
Search this Thread |
|
|
|
| Display Modes |
 Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:26 PM.
|
