Natural and HATING my hair, considering texlax

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  • 1 Post By mskaii
  • 1 Post By AmberBrown
  • 1 Post By Cyn37

I began my natural journey because after a few bad sew-ins my thick apl relaxed hair had began to break and thin out, I thought going natural would allow me to have long, thick healthy hair. I did my BC 2 months ago and was excited to get to know my natural hair and grow my hair long. But now, I HATE my hair.

1. I do not have Wash N Go hair. I have to twist, pull, apply products on my hair for it to be decent to wear out, or to establish any type of curl.
2. My hair is a frizz ball. No matter what I put on my hair it comes out frizzy. Name it, Ive tried it. I cant combat the frizz factor.
3. My hair is knotting like crazy!! I shed a tear everytime I have to snip a SSK out of my hair... Ive tried baggying nightly and I moisturize my hair twice daily, protein weekly & still the SSKs . My goal is to have LONG hair, how can it grow if it breaks of at the ends?

Someone suggested I flat iron my hair weekly, but I dont like using direct heat on my hair. When i was relaxed I only roller set and wrapped my hair under a bonnet dryer. I never blowdryed or flat-ironed it straight.

I have researched many boards and I think texlaxing is my next best option. Any one have texlaxed 3c/4a hair? Any advice?
Take a deep breath. We've all been there. It does get better. No one ever said going natural was easy. It's a journey. I've been on mine for two years now and I'm just starting to feel like I know my hair.

My advice is listen to your hair. If it likes something, use it. If it doesn't like something, stop using it.
Thanks..

I know I prob sound very winey.. but im past frustrated. Maybe I just need more patience. (sigh)
curlisland likes this.
aww sweetie dont get discouraged. I have been there to, infact im still trying to figure out how to manage my hair. It takes time to find out what styles and products work in your hair, give it some more time before you re apply any chemicals

*gives you big hug*
I understand how you feel about frizz.I just tried the garnier blow dry perfector and it was amazing! It doesn't permantely straight your hair and you don't have to wear it straight. You can wear a wash and go and your curls will come out frizzless. I reccommend it. If you go to the website you can print off a $2 off cupoun.
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youtube is your friend. Check out vids of those with similar length, texture, etc and see what they are doing to their hair. That should help give you some hairspiration.
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youtube is your friend. Check out vids of those with similar length, texture, etc and see what they are doing to their hair. That should help give you some hairspiration.
Originally Posted by DerbyCityNaturals
+1
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I understand how you feel about frizz.I just tried the garnier blow dry perfector and it was amazing! It doesn't permantely straight your hair and you don't have to wear it straight. You can wear a wash and go and your curls will come out frizzless. I reccommend it. If you go to the website you can print off a $2 off cupoun.
Originally Posted by Quiana252
I'm glad you like the Garnier stuff, but I've looked it up and its gotten horrible reviews across the board online. MakeupAlley.com members experienced dryness, breakage, etc.

To the OP, I would be very careful before using this stuff...
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Last edited by greenandchic; 12-01-2010 at 02:00 AM.
Honestly, it sounds like the problem is inside of your head. Not on top of it. Frizzy, shrunken and non-curly though it may be--as long as your hair is clean and moisturized--it is decent to wear out. Your OP reads as though you have a lot of unfortunate and unrealistic expectations for what your hair should be based on what someone else's hair is naturally. There is no product that will create perfectly defined ringlets where there are none naturally.

If you really want to stick with the natural thing...eventually you'll have to accept your own personal natural. Not Hair guru such and such's natural. On a slight tangent, I don't even think that "frizzy" is an appropriate adjective to apply to highly textured "ethnic" hair. Without a curl pattern, what relevance is the word frizz? There's no curl for it to attach to, you know? So that fuzzy stuff you're trying to beat into submission might be the way you're hair's supposed to be

As for knots....it sounds like you're caring for your hair the way that someone with a looser texture (prone to frizz perhaps) would care for hers. Maybe you should try limiting your manipulation to once every week or so. Wash it. Moisturize it. And let it be in peace.

I don't know anything about chemical processes so I can't help you there. I will say, however, that I left such a detailed response because your OP seems so distraught If your natural hair is causing you this much frustration...maybe you should consider the perm (texlaxer?) more seriously. Life is too hard and too short to spend all your energy battling hair issues. Do what makes you comfortable and be easy.

Many <3s
Viomalva likes this.
I cosign with the other ladies because it does sound like your relationship with your hair will get easier if you get to know it a little better and understand what it can and can't do, what it like, and all that jazz. The frizziness in particular is not something that can necessarily be fixed by texlaxing.I know that my hair wouldn't behave the way I wanted it to after I bc'd...it took some time and some more length for it to fell and behave the way I wanted it to.

That said, I also texlax my hair because I don't want to fight my hair. I want to detangle it pretty quickly and manipulate it as little or much as suits my lifestyle. Plus I want it to grow, grow, grow. Texlaxing gave me that freedom (no ssk and I can detangle in just a few minutes), so it is possible. But at the same time it's not something I recommend doing when your frustrated with your hair. Take some time and research other texlaxed heads, their routines, the pros and cons they've experienced, etc then use that information to make the best decision for you.
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I cosign with the other ladies because it does sound like your relationship with your hair will get easier if you get to know it a little better and understand what it can and can't do, what it like, and all that jazz. The frizziness in particular is not something that can necessarily be fixed by texlaxing.I know that my hair wouldn't behave the way I wanted it to after I bc'd...it took some time and some more length for it to fell and behave the way I wanted it to.

That said, I also texlax my hair because I don't want to fight my hair. I want to detangle it pretty quickly and manipulate it as little or much as suits my lifestyle. Plus I want it to grow, grow, grow. Texlaxing gave me that freedom (no ssk and I can detangle in just a few minutes), so it is possible. But at the same time it's not something I recommend doing when your frustrated with your hair. Take some time and research other texlaxed heads, their routines, the pros and cons they've experienced, etc then use that information to make the best decision for you.
Originally Posted by vkb247
I agree with this completely.

Frizz is one of those things we are gonna have to deal with. I dealt with frizz when I was relaxing my hair. It happens. There are products and methods that can help minimize the frizz. When you go natural it can be a shock if you aren't used to what grows out of your head. I went through a period of wondering if I'd a mistake because I didn't know what to do with my hair and I was getting frustrated. No style seemed to work, I wasn't used to the length after the BC, shrinkage or any of that. It takes some patience. I don't think anyone should give up before they've gone a yr natural. Just my personal opinion. I'm at the point now where I feel very good about my hair and my decision. All the best to you OP
I sympathize with your frustration. But don't think that texlaxing is the holy grail solution to your issues. When I texlaxed my hair was actually frizzier! And it was drier than dry.

Not sure how long your hair is now; was it APL before or after the BC? If it's long enough, bunning is a great way to give yourself a break.

Regarding those SSK's - did you cut your own hair or get it cut by a curl professional? It makes a difference.
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Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
Quote:
Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
I don't quite understand. Why don't you remain relaxed and just don't use sew-ins?

I am saying I don't understand your motives. Whether to relax again or not depends on why you went natural to begin with.

I personally do not think flat ironing just to stay natural makes any sense. You're damaging your hair probably even worse than a relaxer.
Omg I know Exactly what your going thru! I went natural 2 years ago... My hair was relaxer damaged and weak from improper hair care! I had images of healthy big beautiful curly hair! I hunted for the right products hi and low! I googled and you tubed my heart out looking for someone who found the " miracle" combo I'd been looking for! But no matter what my hair was bushy cottony tangled and dull! I tried vitamins and fish oil... I drank more water, ate avocados I TRIED EVERYTHING! My hair was growing but I had to wrestle with it, pile it with tons of conditioner and coconut oil... Brush with my denmin brush blah blah blah etc...it'd only look good for a day or two and it was far from wash go! I went back to wearing wigs so I could deep condition the hair underneath!...Today I put a texturizer in my hair... I was so afraid I would lose my curl and damage my already sensitive hair! But THE WAR IS OVER! MY HAIR IS GEORGEOUS! it's wash and go... Smooth silky and still very very curly! It looks and feels healthy for the first time in my entire life... It's gone from 4a to 3c like magic! I know 4c hair looks beautiful on some but so does blonde hair it doesn't mean It suits me! Im convinced going natural taught me so much about healthy hair and it would have never looked this way if I hadn't stopped relaxing it! It was in such a healthy natural state that the texturizer only perfected it!! I'm sorry for the lengthy response but seriously I cried and laughed in joy to end to my frustration after seeing my hair air dry today!
curlypearl likes this.
I agree with other posters that you have to get to know your hair and don't take all other advice from forums and videos as the last word. But make sure you do know how your hair is. Hair typing can be misleading and if you say you have a certain hair type and then you follow all that advice and it's not for your type of hair, that could be why you don't like your results.

Maybe you should describe exactly how your hair is and maybe someone with similar hair can give suggestions to try. Remember, someone with similar hair physically may not still be the same (vitamins, medications, nutrition all play a role).

Good luck.
I'm going through this now- coming up on 8 months post relaxer and 4 months natural- and I'm 4b too. I find it helpful that I detangle everyday to every other day and deep condition once to twice a week. Banding helps to stretch out the hair to prevent knots.

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