Help For My Mom's Relaxed Hair

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  • 1 Post By Firefox7275
  • 1 Post By Blueblood

africana
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Hi,

My mom has been relaxing her hair for almost 40 years. It is very damaged. When when i was younger her hair was bra strap length, but now it's above her shoulders with significantly damaged ends. I think she should big chop, but she's a grown woman, capable of making her own decisions and doesn't want to. However, she does realize that she needs to take better care of her hair and is willing to do a series of mini chops to get rid of her dead, breaking ends. I know that relaxed hair may never be as healthy as virgin hair all other things being equal, but she wants to maintain her relaxed styles.

Her hair:

Strand size - unsure
Density - thin to medium, with some very thin spots at temples
Porosity - High
Scalp - Oily & dandruff prone
Hair - Dry
Curl Pattern - based on pictures from her youth she looks type 4, and she stated her new growth appears to be curly, but very small curls (4a?). She relaxes to a 2a texture. She doesn't go for bone straight, just a very slight wave.


My mom loves to shampoo and complains that her hair gets too mushy when she uses too much conditioner, so I think it's highly porous. I brought her an aphogee protein treatment sample and she said she noted a great improvement. I think I will buy that for her again. Anyway, I need ideas for haircare and styles:

1 - A gentle shampoo that is great on relaxed hair. Something that will clean her scalp well, but wont dry her ends.

2 - Style for medium length hair that doesn't require her to flat iron. I Ideally something she can get 2nd and 3rd day hair out of.

3 - A good leave in and a good sealer

4 - Any ideas on how to minimize/reduce the damage that relaxer does to her hair since she wants to continue relaxing
What is the diagnosis for the scalp issue, is it seborrhoeic dermatitis or another problem? Has she tried heat free straightening instead of flat ironing, perhaps wet wrapping? Steer clear of olive and other oils rich in oleic acid, this is a known irritant in susceptible individuals.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
Experimenting with: benign neglect
africana
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Posts: n/a
What is the diagnosis for the scalp issue, is it seborrhoeic dermatitis or another problem? Has she tried heat free straightening instead of flat ironing, perhaps wet wrapping? Steer clear of olive and other oils rich in oleic acid, this is a known irritant in susceptible individuals.
Originally Posted by Firefox7275

It's just dandruff. She previously went to the derm to look at a mole, and when she went there they looked at her scalp. They just recommend an OTC shampoo for dandruff. So, I don't it's a symptom of a more serious medical condition.

My mom is very old school when comes to her hair. She shampoo and condtions 1x per week, blow drys with a comb attachment, then flat irons, and then styles daily. I never heard of wet wrapping, but I looking for tutorial on youtube. Hopefully it is not labour intensive as my mom is an older woman.

Thank you for the tip about evoo.
I can relate to having a mom with type 4 hair who is old school about her (anti-curly) routine.

First I would make sure it's truly her - not you - who is interested in doing a series of mini-chops, and that it is mostly her who desires a new routine. I'll be totally honest: in my case, it's mostly me who wants my mom to change her routine LOL ... which means I need to watch my tendency to be controlling about what she does or doesn't do with her own head of hair Like, she wants no part of wash-n-gos, that's "too natural" for her but is reasonably interested in me (not her) doing a twist-out or braid-out on her.

I'm unsure how your mom will be able to mitigate the damage caused by constant thermal and/or relaxer damage, except maybe a lot of DCs, followed by PTs. Maybe someone else has a more helpful idea. If she doesn't mind the way it looks or feels though, maybe you can just focus on other parts of her (and your) life when you see her.
3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums
africana
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Posts: n/a
I can relate to having a mom with type 4 hair who is old school about her (anti-curly) routine.

First I would make sure it's truly her - not you - who is interested in doing a series of mini-chops, and that it is mostly her who desires a new routine. I'll be totally honest: in my case, it's mostly me who wants my mom to change her routine LOL ... which means I need to watch my tendency to be controlling about what she does or doesn't do with her own head of hair Like, she wants no part of wash-n-gos, that's "too natural" for her but is reasonably interested in me (not her) doing a twist-out or braid-out on her.

I'm unsure how your mom will be able to mitigate the damage caused by constant thermal and/or relaxer damage, except maybe a lot of DCs, followed by PTs. Maybe someone else has a more helpful idea. If she doesn't mind the way it looks or feels though, maybe you can just focus on other parts of her (and your) life when you see her.
Originally Posted by Korkscrew

She's fine with doing mini chops. She knows she needs to cut her hair. She just doesn't want to do it all at once. Say she relaxes her hair and has 2" of new growth, then she'll cut off 2" at the end. So her hair stays the same length instead of getting shorter.

She asked me for tips for her, which is why I am asking questions here. I have no idea how to take care of relaxed hair. Man, I don't even really know how to take care of natural hair.

I think my mom is just frustrated that her hair is not resilliant anymore. Things that work in the past don't work currently. Maybe it's menopause related. I was like 'I got some protein treatment and some coconut oil' and shurgged. She says I spend a lot of time on hair forums so to ask you guys
Well I really hope someone will be able to step up and help your mom.

My last relaxer was eons ago - so long ago that it's mostly a blur I just know my hair was so much easier to care for and embrace once I stopped.

Your guess about hormones is reasonable IMO, in terms of adding to her hairs' tendency to either thin out or become more fragile than it used to be. If there's any question about that, or her general health, she could always visit her doc(?).

It may just be that she has to learn to live with the consequences of the routine chemicals or heat she uses. I mean the complaints she has are the same ones that lead a lot of people to this site to embrace their curls. Maybe you could suggest her come to this site and read about natural hair care?
3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums
It's just dandruff. She previously went to the derm to look at a mole, and when she went there they looked at her scalp. They just recommend an OTC shampoo for dandruff. So, I don't it's a symptom of a more serious medical condition.

My mom is very old school when comes to her hair. She shampoo and condtions 1x per week, blow drys with a comb attachment, then flat irons, and then styles daily. I never heard of wet wrapping, but I looking for tutorial on youtube. Hopefully it is not labour intensive as my mom is an older woman.

Thank you for the tip about evoo.
Originally Posted by africana
Dandruff is not a proper medical diagnosis, it's a lay term covering more than one flaky scalp condition. Most scalp complaints are not 'serious' they are just medical words, but they do need correct treatment not random forum advice that can easily worsen the problem. The most common is seborrhoeic dermatitis, but contact dermatitis, atopic eczema and xerosis are possibilities.

Would be worth calling the dermatologist's office asking for the diagnosis from the medical notes. Once you have that we can suggest products that are hair and skin friendly - thinking in dermatology has progressed pace in recent years.

Most scalp conditions are inflammatory in origin so a nutrient dense anti inflammatory diet can be beneficial, over time this can also improve the quality of the hair, may reduce shedding, alter the type and amount of sebum produced.
Zeldahime likes this.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
Experimenting with: benign neglect

Last edited by Firefox7275; 09-03-2013 at 08:45 AM.
Africana if your mum is old school as you say, does she apply grease directly to her scalp? If so she needs to stop doing this.

And Korkscrew is right - get your mum to come and look at this site to read through this particular part of the forum.
Korkscrew likes this.
What is the diagnosis for the scalp issue, is it seborrhoeic dermatitis or another problem? Has she tried heat free straightening instead of flat ironing, perhaps wet wrapping? Steer clear of olive and other oils rich in oleic acid, this is a known irritant in susceptible individuals.
Originally Posted by Firefox7275

It's just dandruff. She previously went to the derm to look at a mole, and when she went there they looked at her scalp. They just recommend an OTC shampoo for dandruff. So, I don't it's a symptom of a more serious medical condition.

My mom is very old school when comes to her hair. She shampoo and condtions 1x per week, blow drys with a comb attachment, then flat irons, and then styles daily. I never heard of wet wrapping, but I looking for tutorial on youtube. Hopefully it is not labour intensive as my mom is an older woman.

Thank you for the tip about evoo.
Originally Posted by africana
If your mom is old school (and an older person), she should definitely remember a time when flat irons and comb attachments didn't exist. Can she afford to go to a salon for a few months and get a wet set until she gains some length? Then she will be able to do the wet set at home by herself. Or if she is skilled, she might be able to do a wet set now on her own hair if she has a bonnet hair dryer. I agree that a wet wrap/doobie is another good option.

Her biggest issue is w/ heat right now. Blow drying w/ a comb attachment is torturous on relaxed hair and so is flat ironing.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

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