Self-Esteem issues...

Ok so... same song, different verse... I've had curly hair my ENTIRE life... I loved it when I was little, because, somehow, no matter what I did to it, it was always perfect blonde ringlets that went down to my waist... then I got it cut in middle school, and that's when I started HATING it... it was always frizzy, and I didn't know how to take care of curls (nor did anyone else in my family... I am, and always have been, the only person alive in our family to have hair long enough to put in a ponytail). I would always brush it more in hopes that the more I brush it, the straighter it would get... at this point I was keeping it about chin-length, and it stayed that way for a long time.

In high school, I started straightening my hair at least 3 or 4 times a week, and the other days I would just wear my hair up... curly was just too much of a hassle except on special occasions when I scrunched so much product into it that I'm surprised I didn't stab people with my hair when I walked by them.

The past year or so I've finally started treating my hair right, I haven't touched a straightener in over 6 months, and I love how my curls look... I feel like they fit me.

BUT...

All of my friends (and my boyfriend, who ALSO has curly hair) keep telling me they miss my "gorgeous straight hair" and they ask me "why I don't style it more often so that it looks better." I think I look good, and I know my hair's healthier than it's been in 10 years, but I can't help feeling like I'm the only one that thinks that...

I guess I just want some other opinions... do y'all think I should start wearing my hair straight again? I know it's going to be "all about what I want" but, honestly, I don't know... I like my hair straight, yes... I love being able to run my fingers through it without having to worry about having my hair turn into a giant ball of frizz, but I've spent so much time and effort getting it healthy... I just don't know.

The first picture is how my hair was "curly" before I started taking care of it... then straight, and then how it looks on an average day now.
Attached Thumbnails
Self-Esteem issues...-photo-15.jpg   Self-Esteem issues...-photo-2.jpg   Self-Esteem issues...-img_3948.jpg  
Chin-length 3b curls
Trying to grow out all the damage I've done to my poor curls... the ultimate goal is waist-length, healthy, natural curly hair. :-)

W
hat if I'm a weeping willow
Laughing tears upon my pillow
What if I'm a socialite who wants to be alone
What if I'm a toothless leopard
What if I'm a sheepless shepherd
What if I'm an angel without wings to take me home

Definitely not. The straight hair is cute, but your curls are gorgeous. There is nothing wrong with them and they're much prettier than the straight hair.

fia 2C/3A-F-iii, sensitive to some proteins
CGish since 10-16-08
Low-poo: Yes to Carrots Daily Pampering Shampoo (1-2x/week)
Rinse outs: Yes to Carrots Pampering Mud Conditioner
Styling: a little bit of leave in and a little bit of KCCC, diffusing
Olive oil DTs, honey rinses in the summer
I'd say keep it curly also! Looks so gorgeous, healthy, and uniquely lovely. Love your hair color too.
3a to 3b Medium/Coarse iii, Protein Sensitive

Occasional Cleanser: EO Products Sweet Orange Shampoo
Conditioners: VO5 or Suave Conditioners (Co-wash), GVP Conditioning Balm (Rinse Out/Leave In), AOHR (Deep Treat)
Stylers: Herbal Essences Set Me Up Gel, Karen's Body Beautiful Hair Nectar (SOTC)

I love being able to run my fingers through it without having to worry about having my hair turn into a giant ball of frizz
Originally Posted by lovelyladycurls
I missed that too much. Having touchable hair. I'm a very touchy-feely sort of person (I wear cashmere, have bazillion threadcount sheets, etc) and I really really missed soft silky hair. When I straighten mine I can't keep my hands off it!

I think both straight and curly look gorgeous! Great color! I'm really not going to be much help because I'll be one of those "it's up to you" type people. However, it doesn't look unhealthy or damaged in the straight picture, so maybe you could compromise with your friends/bf and straighten once a week or so? I know you shouldn't cater to anyone else's wants, but it really does look great either way.
cowash: Tresemme Naturals
rinse out: Garnier Triple Nutrition
Leave in: Suave naturals, whichever scent I'm into at the moment
gel: Garnier Fructis or LA Looks

3a-3b - high porosity
I think it is pretty in all of the pictures. Saying that, I also think the curly hair is unique (love the color). My vote is to rock those curlz!
I love your hair in the third pic, how do you get it to look like that? Mine looks like the first pic. Anyway, I have a similar dilemma. The whole, hair looks like crap because it's all frizzy after I sleep on it and I'm not going to wash it every day... It sucks. I'd say maybe rotate curly and straight. Wear it straight one week, curly the next. That way it won't be fried but you can still rock the best of both worlds.
CG since Jan 2009. Hair: 3b, fine
LeaveIn/ Conditioners: Alaffia, AOHR
Gel - KCCC, FSG, LA Looks, HETT
Protein: IAGirl's Recipe and AOGPB. DT: Honey+Coconut Oil Aloe Vera Gel/ Mineral Oil/ Alcohols: Don't work well.
The cool thing about your hair is that you have the option. And that means that *sometimes* you can opt to go straight.

But let's be clear about one thing. These people who want you to have straight hair ... Why? You were born with curly hair. Would they tell a person with dark skin to see what they could do about going lighter? Would they advise a short person to see what they could do about getting taller? These are preposterous suggestions, obviously, and yet they aren't that much different than telling a person who was born with curly hair that it isn't acceptable and needs to be straight to "look good."

Your hair looks MUCH better curly, IMHO. It looks very nice straight, but to be honest, you look far more interesting with the curly do. My guess is that you feel truer to yourself, too. Not that the straight hair is a "lie" but doing it because it pleases people who've bought into the "only straight hair is glamorous and sexy" hype would be a shame.

(I haven't straightened my hair in more than a year but in the interests of full disclosure, I will say that I recently discovered the joy of hairpieces (!) and one of them is not as curly as my own hair. I wear one of the two I own every couple of weeks -- I consider them accessories as well as time-savers! They allow me to change my look without doing any damage to my hair.)
3a and strictly CG since August 2007. Porous and on the fine side. No to magnesium sulfate and glycerin. Yes to protein! Favorites:
CO-WASHES: Suave Coconut
CONDITIONERS and LEAVE-INS: Mop Top Daily Conditioner, KBB Nectar, Aubrey GPB or Island Naturals, Robert Craig, Any Jessicurl
CURL ENHANCERS/CREMES/MOUSSES: KCCC, JoiWhip
GELS: Fuzzy Duck, B5 Design, MGA Scultping, BRHG


Fotki password: chuckle
Blog: http://jillipoo.blogspot.com/
Twitter: nopoojillipoo
Here's my thoughts:

1st I think that they are still a little in shock. People are used to seeing something and they don't like change. Just explain to them that you are trying something new, how straightening constantly is bad. Finally just be honest and tell them that you are trying to do something good for yourself, that you are self-conscious enough without their comments. If they still keep asking you to change yourself I would be reevaluating what they mean to me. I'm just saying people who ask you to change yourself don't usually make the best of friends and boyfriends

2nd To the real issue: how YOU feel about your curly hair. I have to say I kind of agree with you about the no touching your hair thing lest it look "bad". That's the only reason why I might not try the CG method. I didn't give up relaxing so I could become even more neurotic about my hair. In part I did it to let my hair free. Isn't curly hair supposed to be freeing? The few times I've done twist outs was a little too reminscent of my perm days right after I got my hair done. I would be afraid to touch it, to sleep on it. I hated that feeling. Besides I like the frizzy look so if I were I would stop worrying so much about frizz. I understand some people like defined curls but sometimes I DO think they look a little too perfect. So don't feel you have to straighten your hair to touch it, embrace the frizz or straighten it but do it becuase YOU want to.
You have some very beautiful curls goin there. And if it were me I would tell them to shove it cause you love the curls, its healthier than it was when you straightened it all the time.

Now I also understand the whole not touching it thing. I straightened for a good 7 years of my life and always had my fingers in my hair. Ive been natural for about 8 9 years now and i straighten every so often because I now know how to do it without killin my hair. Ugh the things i used to do *sigh*



Anyway, people cant bother you unless you let them. You do what you think is best for you.
Precious Honey
3c with some 3b at the bottom.
Im lovin HENNA
Light protein use

Co-wash: Suave Daily Clarifying Co
Rinse-out: Back to Basics Pom Peach (old bottle) or GVP Conditioning Balm
DT: GVP Condidtioning Balm with heat
Leave in: Elucence MBC
Gel: HEBE or Aussie Instant Freeze gel.
Shampoo: Elucence Moisture Balance
http://public.fotki.com/Precioushoney/
Im alot like you. I was born with 2b spirals and no one knew how to care for them. So I ended up with the frizziest mess on the planet growing up. I was made fun of because it was so unruly and untamed. Now older wiser and far more informed I found I have a very unique head of hair. For unlike those who can only wear it in one style, one look I can go both ways. I can wear it curly and a little messy looking or I can blow it out straight with just a simple hair dryer and round brush. You sound like me and to that I say "play"... Dont commit to just one look but let it depend on your mood that day. Sometimes I want that curly look and other days I want the refined smooth look. I made the mistake of cutting all those curls from long to short and now Im misrable and unhappy for even though I can go either way I cant go from short to long...and I miss the long hair something awfull. So dont get backed into a corner..let yourself be creative, expressive and have a great time while you do.

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:59 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com