Feeling awful about relaxing my little one's hair, so damaged. Help!

I am in desperate need of advice! I am new to nc.com which I love, I only wish that I'd found it sooner. My daughter (I'll download pictures soon) has (or had) gorgeous waist-length hair. It was a task trying to get her out of the house in the mornings with her natural 3c hair, so I listened to my old school mother and relaxed it (sigh). Mind you, I had a hard time keeping it moisturized even pre-relaxer. I woke up this morning, and during our everday hair routine, pulling her hair back (with a little castor oil) into a ponytail, I noticed little white balls at the end of her hair, just the feel of it is so dry and brittle.
I miss her long curly hair. I am having huge regrets and I wish that I applied all the things I learned recently on this website to my daughter's hair and I feel like over time her hair is going to continue to be dry and break (I also had the same wsl hair when I was little until my mom gave me a relaxer, what the hell was I thinking?).
Please I'll take all the advice I can. Oh and one more thing, I deep condition her hair every Sunday and the moisture from that condition is eaten up within an hour of rinsing the dt. Her hair also eats up the castor oil and any oil for that matter within an hour or two.
Sorry this is so long, all advice is welcome. Product advice, weekly routines, anyone in a similar situation, etc. Thanks!!
HI and welcome to NC.

Just a quick suggestion based on what you said..but oil is not a moisturizer...it just gives the appearance of moisturized hair. If that is all you are using on her hair, then that maybe why her hair is dry. I have very dry hair as well and the best thing that I've found that helps and works wonders is to increase the washing and Deept conditioners.

Water is nature's moisturizer! I currently wash my hair 2x a week (i know with a little one that is hard but you should do it at least 1x a week). Also, I only use shampoo 1x a week. The other time that I wash I rinse my hair, and use conditioner in the place of shampoo (Look for the book Curly Girl..it details this method and how it is good for dry curly hair). I also deep condition my hair everyweek and sit under a heat cap to help the conditioner penatrate.

At night, I spritz my hair with a water/oil/conditioner mix and then apply a moisturizer to my hair and place it in large twists/braids so that its not loose. A good drugstore moisturizer is "Hollywood Beauty Olive Oil Creme". It's about $3 in CVS or Walgreens and it works. Put a little castor oil on her ends at night and in the morning her hair will be sooo soft!

Also, are you using a good leave in conditioner in her hair? That is important to making sure the hair doens't dry out also. A good leave in for dry hair is Shea Moisture Shea Butter Leave in. Its really thick and rich and works wonderfully.

there's a bunch more that I'll post tonight when I get home...but in the mean time...hope this helps and welcome!!
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Thank you so much for responding N_C_C!! I already have it in my plans for tomorrow to get the Shea l.i and the Olive oil creme for her.
Thanks so much, and you have some beautiful hair.
Maybe my problem was that I was using the same things on her hair that I was using on mine, but my hair retains moisture well since I cowash/ apply a leave-in everyday. I was using Giovanni's Direct l.i. on her hair, but I don't think it's giving her the same results as it does for me. I dread the thought of washing her hair more than once a week but I'll also try anything to see some improvement.
Thanks again!

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