READY TO GIVE UP: Transitioning

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I have been transitioning since May, and I'm lost! To make it worse, my family is not supportive of my decision to go natural. It often comes to the point of them discouraging me. I am the only girl, and former tom boy, so I'm not familiar with my hair and how to read it. With relaxers, I always stayed in the shop and never really had to do my hair. I am also in grad school, and I find myself not having time to do the protective styles that my hair needs. I have very thick hair, which I am assuming is 4a. So, I liked the idea of being able to get up, unwrap my hair and go, when it was relaxed. Now I am considering having it straightened permanently. But, from my understanding, that would ruin my curl pattern (if I have one) and I couldn't go back to other natural styles. Although, it's been seven months, I'm not ready for the BC. At my current rate of growth, I thought April would be good to clip the last relaxed ends off, but I am now anxious and frustrated with my hair. Idk what to do!!

I also have questions about products. Because I am in school, I won't have money to buy all the natural hair products that I have heard about on the board. I now use Cantu Shea Butter Leave in, pure coconut oil, and pure shea butter. With the shea butter, how to I use that? Is there a way to soften it? What I really need a natural transitioning mentor. SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!
hippiedoll's Avatar
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 398
I feel your pain! My mother is pro-relaxers. She's not a fan of natural hair even though she had natural hair up until her late 20s. From as long as I can remember my mom has always had straight hair pressed or relaxed. My dad doesn't care either way if it's natural, straight, or permed as long as its healthy. Is your hair damaged? That could be used to your advantage in letting your family understand why you are transitioning. Show your family pictures of women with beautiful natural hair. Explain your reasons why you want your hair in its natural state. Just remain strong and stand your ground for what you want. Educate you family on what it means to be natural and how your hair and health can benefit from it. Surround yourself with positive influences like the naturally curly website and youtube. You will reach your goal. Don't worry a out anyone else's opinion. I hope this helps.
Products I'm currently :
  • Karen's Body Beautiful Sweet Ambrosia (Vanilla Latte scent)
  • Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Style Milk
  • Certified Organic Coconut Oil
  • Karen's Body Beautiful Heavenly Jojoba Oil
Staple Deep Conditioners: Giovanni Direct Leave-in and Karen's Body Beautiful Luscious Locks Hair Mask

Recent newbie to the Curly Girl Method
6 months post relaxer. I will be 7 months post September 17 !!
hippiedoll's Avatar
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 398
You can't go wrong with Target in finding natural hair products. You can also whip shea butter or melt it to your desire. There's tons of YouTube videos on that. YouTube is a great place to learn new styling techniques as well.
Products I'm currently :
  • Karen's Body Beautiful Sweet Ambrosia (Vanilla Latte scent)
  • Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Style Milk
  • Certified Organic Coconut Oil
  • Karen's Body Beautiful Heavenly Jojoba Oil
Staple Deep Conditioners: Giovanni Direct Leave-in and Karen's Body Beautiful Luscious Locks Hair Mask

Recent newbie to the Curly Girl Method
6 months post relaxer. I will be 7 months post September 17 !!
Thank you so much. To answer your question, I am genetically blessed with thick, beautiful hair. People have always said that about my hair when it was relaxed, and they don't say it as much anymore. Now, my hair is still thick, now it's just damaged and tangled because I have problems maintaining it. And I'll definitely check Target out in the near future.
Welcome to NC! Transitioning is difficult for everybody, but you have to remain strong and be very patient with your hair. Don't feed into the negativity that others are saying, you know the reason why you are going natural so that's all that matters. As far as taking care of your hair and styling your hair, I would definitely check out youtube vloggers there's a plethora of information, tutorials, and product reviews. I wont recommend products to use because what works for my hair may not work for yours. But with trying to find the right products its trail and error, I hope this helps, good luck!

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Still loving my curls and kinks!
Products I love:
Ion Dandruff/Seborrheic Dermatitis Tar Shampoo
Suave Shea Butter Conditioner
Biolage Scalp Therapy Shampoo
Biolage Fortify Therapy Shampoo
Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner
Beautiful Textures Rapid Repair Deep Conditioner
Shea butter, olive oil, coconut oil, apricot oil, peppermint oil, tea tree oil, and eucalyptus oil
Welcome to NC! Transitioning is difficult for everybody, but you have to remain strong and be very patient with your hair. Don't feed into the negativity that others are saying, you know the reason why you are going natural so that's all that matters. As far as taking care of your hair and styling your hair, I would definitely check out youtube vloggers there's a plethora of information, tutorials, and product reviews. I wont recommend products to use because what works for my hair may not work for yours. But with trying to find the right products its trail and error, I hope this helps, good luck!

Sent from my DROID3 using CurlTalk App
Originally Posted by Amazinnatural
Thank you! The encouragement really helps me remember why I started this.
@ahmalone you're welcome, have a great journey and keep us posted.

Sent from my DROID3 using CurlTalk App






Still loving my curls and kinks!
Products I love:
Ion Dandruff/Seborrheic Dermatitis Tar Shampoo
Suave Shea Butter Conditioner
Biolage Scalp Therapy Shampoo
Biolage Fortify Therapy Shampoo
Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner
Beautiful Textures Rapid Repair Deep Conditioner
Shea butter, olive oil, coconut oil, apricot oil, peppermint oil, tea tree oil, and eucalyptus oil
There are plenty of natural hair gurus around here who would be happy to give you helpful feedback. So you've come to the right place

You might want to try posting what your current regimen (do you shampoo? how often? how often do you condition/deep condition? do you seal your hair?) And then follow up with your specific hair issues (dryness, breakage, sore scalp, tangles?).

And I understand the plight of the broke college student so let me reassure you that you absolutely do not have to spend a lot of money on $$$ hair products. If you find a brand that you are interested in, do a search to get some idea of how people feel about certain products within that line. I can't say that I follow the advice of any particular individual on the site, but doing a little homework on product selection has been extremely helpful (and cost efficient!) for me.





I don't have much to add, but I wanted to come in and say "Don't Give Up. Don't Ever Give Up." (Jimmy Valvano and the Cancer Foundation would probably stone me for using their phrase that way, but whatevs....)

The ladies here have given you great advice. Personally, I like Shea Moisture, Kinky Curly, Aubrey Organics conditioners, and Jane Carter--though the price point is higher on her products. All of these can be found at Target or, in my area, Vitamin Shoppe or Whole Foods. Jane Carter is the only one with a price point over $20 that I've seen.

I would also suggest, if you're not ready to chop, that Aubrey Organics GPB conditioner might be particularly good for you. It's a protein and moisture combination, which will help with your line of demarcation and relaxed ends. I swear by the White Camellia for pure moisture, but Honeysuckle Rose is VERY popular (too thick for my personal tastes, and I hate the smell of roses).

Good luck with your hair, and with grad school!
There are plenty of natural hair gurus around here who would be happy to give you helpful feedback. So you've come to the right place

You might want to try posting what your current regimen (do you shampoo? how often? how often do you condition/deep condition? do you seal your hair?) And then follow up with your specific hair issues (dryness, breakage, sore scalp, tangles?).

And I understand the plight of the broke college student so let me reassure you that you absolutely do not have to spend a lot of money on $$$ hair products. If you find a brand that you are interested in, do a search to get some idea of how people feel about certain products within that line. I can't say that I follow the advice of any particular individual on the site, but doing a little homework on product selection has been extremely helpful (and cost efficient!) for me.
Originally Posted by naturalnewb
Ok thank you for all this. Here is my pseudo regimen:

I wash every 5-7 days w/ Matrix Biolage hydrating shampoo and deep conditioner. Having to wash so often is probably why my hair is so dry, but my dandruffs are so agressive! Just recently, I bought pure shea butter and virgin coconut oil. I use coconut oil every time i style my hair, and shea butter on my edges and ends. I also use Cantu shea butter leave in before i style too.
The only thing i know about my hair is that its dry, my dandruffs are out of control and it tangles whenever it gets the chance. I also have to re twist every night because my hair gets matted (even with a silk cap) if i don't style it at night.
I don't have much to add, but I wanted to come in and say "Don't Give Up. Don't Ever Give Up." (Jimmy Valvano and the Cancer Foundation would probably stone me for using their phrase that way, but whatevs....)

The ladies here have given you great advice. Personally, I like Shea Moisture, Kinky Curly, Aubrey Organics conditioners, and Jane Carter--though the price point is higher on her products. All of these can be found at Target or, in my area, Vitamin Shoppe or Whole Foods. Jane Carter is the only one with a price point over $20 that I've seen.

I would also suggest, if you're not ready to chop, that Aubrey Organics GPB conditioner might be particularly good for you. It's a protein and moisture combination, which will help with your line of demarcation and relaxed ends. I swear by the White Camellia for pure moisture, but Honeysuckle Rose is VERY popular (too thick for my personal tastes, and I hate the smell of roses).

Good luck with your hair, and with grad school!
Originally Posted by Ronnieaj
First, thank you for your encouragement and well wishes. I am very grateful you took the time out to advise me. I am writing down these products and going to Target today!! Thanks!
Hi,

Sorry I don't have too much to add but I wish you the best of luck and know first hand how hard the first few months to a year can be especially with your family. I found my biggest supporters were my friends rather than my immediate family.
I'm still struggling with finding the best products that work for my hair, but Avocado Oil has been working when it comes to moisture, shine and overall health of my hair. I would highly recommend it! And it's cheap..
I know what you mean on the tangling. If I don't do a braidout or bantu-knot out to style my hair then it tangles. I can't just where the relaxed ends out and straight. That makes it where I only detangle once a week when I wash my hair. Try using the coconut oil after you apply your leave-in and use the shea butter on all of your hair especially the ends. But check oout you-tube for sure. That is what has helped me the last 7 months through my transition. Good luck with your hair journey.
Hi,

Sorry I don't have too much to add but I wish you the best of luck and know first hand how hard the first few months to a year can be especially with your family. I found my biggest supporters were my friends rather than my immediate family.
I'm still struggling with finding the best products that work for my hair, but Avocado Oil has been working when it comes to moisture, shine and overall health of my hair. I would highly recommend it! And it's cheap..
Originally Posted by Missnadzy
I'll definitely look into the avocado oil. Thank you!
I know what you mean on the tangling. If I don't do a braidout or bantu-knot out to style my hair then it tangles. I can't just where the relaxed ends out and straight. That makes it where I only detangle once a week when I wash my hair. Try using the coconut oil after you apply your leave-in and use the shea butter on all of your hair especially the ends. But check oout you-tube for sure. That is what has helped me the last 7 months through my transition. Good luck with your hair journey.
Originally Posted by naturalgirl85
It's been 7 months for me too. Thank you and I'll check out the you tube videos.
Guys, I have been researching some ideas to help me transition without further damaging my hair. And I think I am going to do Senegalese twists. With my internship, jobS and class, I needed something easier than styling my hair every night. I am going to take every necessary precaution to ensure the braids don't damage or break my hair. Any feedback or advice on this idea??? IM ALL EARS!!!
Yes! Get some twists. I'll be 7 months post tomorrow nd I just put some kinky twists in. I'm sure you'll enjoy the twists. Just make sure to take care of your hair while in the twists. I think since your so busy it's a wonderful option. Good luck! =]


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<3**Gabikay51**<3
Yes! Get some twists. I'll be 7 months post tomorrow nd I just put some kinky twists in. I'm sure you'll enjoy the twists. Just make sure to take care of your hair while in the twists. I think since your so busy it's a wonderful option. Good luck! =]


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<3**Gabikay51**<3
Originally Posted by Gabikay51
Thank you! I'm really indecisive, but the more I ponder it, the more excited I get.
Also, what do you guys think about shampooing with regular shampoo while I have the twists in verus, using natural hair products??? I'm full of questions, so don't mind me.

AGAIN, I APPRECIATE ALL THE FEEDBACK!!! YOU GUYS ARE HELPING ME MORE THAN YOU KNOW.
Also, what do you guys think about shampooing with regular shampoo while I have the twists in verus, using natural hair products??? I'm full of questions, so don't mind me.

AGAIN, I APPRECIATE ALL THE FEEDBACK!!! YOU GUYS ARE HELPING ME MORE THAN YOU KNOW.
Originally Posted by ahmalone
I suggest using a natural sulfate free shampoo if you want to shampoo. It's much better for your hair. Aubrey Organics and Giovanni has sulfate free shampoos, and you can find some other brands with sulfate free shampoos by looking at the ingredients. Your hair will be less dry as well if you use a natural sulfate free shampoo. Also, you mentioned having a dandruff problem.. you should try using a tea tree shampoo since that's supposed to help with dandruff. Giovanni has a tea tree shampoo called "Giovanni Tea Tree Triple Treat" that you can get from Target and it works well. You should check out the "Shea Moisture" line at Target as well which is affordable and natural.
2c/3a some 3b/Thick/Fine texture?/High Porosity
Currently trying out the CG method again as of 1/3/12!

Current Routine:
Co-wash/RO: Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle
Low poo: Giovanni Tea Tree Triple Treat (when needed)
Products: LA Looks Sports Gel and Curly Kinks Coil Jam



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