Moms thoughts on my Transitioning 8/

My mom thinks i should just get a perm because she sees how stressed out i get when it comes to dealing with my hair.I told her that relaxers are bad for your hair and that in a few years i wont have anymore hair cause of all the chemicals.Then she says getting a relaxers twice a year isnt going to ruin my hair and that i will have a harder time with my natural hair than with my permed hair.She says everything im saying about how perming your hair is bad is a myth and that im exagerating.How do i make her understand that it is bad and it is ruining my hair.I think once my natural hair grows out ill be happier and be able to manage it more than my permed hair.I have 5 inches of new growth and the curls are looking so nice i might be a 3b 3c.Anywho i just really want to make my mom understand why am doing this and why im going to be better off in the long run with my natural hair any tips?
My mom used to be the same way. Now she's amazed at how much hair I have lol. I'll be ten months post on the 6th of next month.
Be persistent, confident, and let her see that your serious with your decision. She'll come along...(hopefully lol)


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Just let your mom know that it is your personal choice and that you have no desire to get another relaxer. Just try to inform her about why you chose to go natural and try to continue to educate her.

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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 398
My mom was the same way. She's a straight hair Nazi. I never seen her wear her hair in it's natural state. My mom began relaxing her hair in her 20s. As I got older I just became tired of getting relaxers. I fell in love with wearing my hair big and curly. My mom didn't approve but she realized how damaged my hair was from relaxers. I'm an adult now therefore, I can do what I want with my hair. I think you should educate your mom on how healthy and beautiful natural hair can be. You can show your mom pictures/videos of women's hair that's natural. I think your mom will eventually come around. Not everyone is going to respond positively to change right away.
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Recent newbie to the Curly Girl Method
6 months post relaxer. I will be 7 months post September 17 !!
I think what most people don't understand is that when you go natural it's not just a change in your hair but a complete lifestyle change. I don't know about most people but I found when I decided to stop with all the straightening and pay attention to what I put on my hair I also started to pay attention to what I put in my body. It led me to make healthier lifestyle choices and take care of myself as a whole. My mother loved my curly hair and could never understand why I would spend hours with a flat iron frying my hair (she's a straighty). She was happy when I went natural right up until I told her that I don't use shampoo anymore. Then she gave me that look, you guys know which one I mean. I explained to her why and she still didn't really get it. Then we went to get haircuts together and I started in on my stylist about not using sulfates, silicones and stuff on my hair and to only use cleansers without those ingredients. Mom rolled her eyes and started commenting on how I have started this new "hair thing". That is until the stylist looked at my hair and said, "This is the healthiest I have seen your hair in years and it is so moisturized." From then on mom was cool with it. Then I started to lose weight (another thing my mom had been on my back about) because I went to health food stores to by products and ingredients to make my own and started buying better quality foods. When she noticed the overall change in my health she was stunned to find out that by paying attention to what I put in my hair I had in fact paid more attention to what I ate. She was so happy that my hair had caused a lifestyle change for the better that she never mentioned my "hair thing" again. For me educating her on why I was doing it and the benefits I reaped from it was what turned the tide.
"I'm not high maintenance, my hair is."
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When I told my mom I was going natural she laughed and said, I remember how your hair was when you were little. LOL. And boy did I get flashbacks, LOL. But she was on myside and said ok, if that's what you want, I'm just not washing it. My thinking was, it can't hurt to try, if I don't like it, I'll go back to a perm.

So because I didn't want to really hear her mouth with helping me wash my hair, I was still going to my hair dresser. I have NEVER washed my hair on my own. Then I said, I'ma have to learn to do this. I stopped going to my hair dresser and started to wash and do my hair. That was over a year ago.

I have been transitioning for over a year and it hasn't been bad. Even my mom is like, your hair looks good and feels good. And she even helps with styling it. I say all of this to say, its your hair and your decision. Your Mom may not be fully on board, but hey, its ok. She will come around.

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