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-   -   BF's Preferences (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/transitioning/152848-bfs-preferences.html)

Dominicanized 12-11-2012 08:23 PM

BF's Preferences
 
Do you guys take your boyfriends' preferences into account?

Mine is sloooowly learning...he's okay with me not perming since he now understands that it's harmful, but it's obvious he prefers my hair straight and long, not curly and short-looking. I'm meeting his family and friends in a week and today he asked me if I would be straightening my hair...that it looks weird otherwise.

I'm 8 months into transition, I'm not a huge fan of the way twistouts/bantu knots/braid outs look on me, I know he's not either. But what can I do...he rathers me wait before BCing, although I feel ready. I've been trying to hold out before chopping but for what, for him to tell me that it looks weird? It stresses me. :( Any advice?

MissDarcei 12-11-2012 09:16 PM

My bf says he likes my hair straight but what he really means is he likes my hair long lol I also like myself with long hair so I'm aiming for hip length right now. I straighten every 4 months or so and he's happy with that

Dominicanized 12-12-2012 08:20 AM

I guess he may be meaning "long" as well...he met me with real long hair and he likes that. In any case it's going to either be short or look short for a long while.

I don't know what styles would elongate the hair while transitioning. I think I may try twists on damp/dryish hair, as I always do it on wet. Sigh...I would so BC if it weren't for him.

ThickHairedQT 12-12-2012 09:33 AM

I kinda do take SO's preferences into consideration. I know he likes long hair and when he met me I wore my hair long and straight. He honestly thought my hair grew that way, bless his heart, and I had to explain the story of the relaxer and flat iron and that my hair is actually quite kinky. I prepared him for my big chop but either way long, straight, short, curly, kinky, he accepts me. We've come too far to argue over hair and either way I was gonna do what I wanted to do with my hair.

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Kay Rae 12-12-2012 09:33 AM

My bf's opinion matters most to me, after my own. Luckily he prefers curly hair and whenever he compliments it and i say "really?" he says he's told me a bunch of times he likes it more than straight but since i kept straightening it he just gave up.

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leilawyatt3 02-06-2013 07:26 AM

I ask what he likes out of curiosity, but I am going to do what I want with my hair. Especially since it is my time, energy, and money spent going to a salon/doing it myself. I also would think it was kind of rude if he told me my hair looked "weird" unless I asked for his opinion, but maybe that is me.
Maybe you can stress other benefits to him. My boyfriend likes that I no longer cringe every time he touches my hair (flat ironing took to much time for someone to go touching it and my curly hair had to have so much gel it felt disgusting), I'm much more easy going (rain, snow, pools, even humidity to an extent, etc. are no longer my enemies), it takes me significantly less time to get ready, and I'm happier


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