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-   -   Please help! Need advice and support! (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/transitioning/162991-please-help-need-advice-support.html)

Striving4Health 09-13-2013 10:43 PM

Please help! Need advice and support!
 
I'm literally shaking and crying, I don't know what to do, no body is supporting or helping me with my decision to go natural for my hair. I recently decided to stop pressing my hair with the damaging hot comb. My hair has been ruined for a loooooong time, and pressing it just turned out to be the icing on the cake for me. My hair was at least at chin length, but now it barely even goes (or grows) past the tip of my ears. That's a reaaaaaaaly short hair cut. A pixie cut some might say, with half curly/knotted/dry/brittle hair mixed with straight/thin/striving pieces hold on for dear life. This has probably been my 8Th time trying to go natural, but when I look in the mirror, I just see and ugly little boy (but I'm a girl, so what's wrong with this picture here?) I didn't get hired to any jobs (maybe my lack of luscious hair threw them off)_ so I will almost never have any money to buy any products, not to mention any home made stuff because there's almost always never any food in this house. I just really, honestly, need advice and support please. Maybe some money saving or cheap products that would work well on my hair (I could probably skip lunch and just save to buy something for my hair), and please some helpful tips, maybe on how I could style this short pixie damaged split ends into looking at least half decent, I hear the talk going around in school and it makes me very self conscious. Just please someone, anyone? Thank you so much for whoever took the time out of their day, lunch, night, into reading my sob story. If theirs really no hope for me then I guess I'll just turn towards pressing and hot combing my hair again until I graduate in June :S. Thank so, so much again. Please have a great day, God Bless :)

Brookskool 09-14-2013 12:59 AM

If it is already pretty short and damaged, have you considered just big chopping it and shaving it all off?

multicultcurly 09-14-2013 09:19 AM

I am sorry you are going through this. Hair can really affect how you feel about yourself. You may be better off getting it cut down to an inch and wearing a short wig until it grows out or wearing extensions.

In order to get a job, you need to project confidence. Fake it until you make it. Adding olive oil to a drugstore conditioner like tresseme naturals moisturizing one is a good start. Also, Sally's usually has generic versions of most salon products. Try to follow curly girl and conditioner wash with Suave Naturals conditioner and leave some of your rinse out conditioner in and use a cheap gel. A lot of this is trial and error.

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Blueblood 09-14-2013 10:10 AM

It would be worth watching this and this and saying some affirmations daily like these In fact if you have a mirror that only you use write a couple out and attach them to that mirror.

As Brookskool already suggested it may be worth cutting your hair shorter and getting some pairs of nice (but cheap) earrings.

What hair products do you have already? As if you cut your hair shorter then some of them will still be perfect to use until you have get some money together to buy the products multicultcurly suggests.

Oh and when you buy oils they don't have to be extra virgin and organic. And make sure the gels are alcohol free.

BTW the links are all youtube videos

Korkscrew 09-14-2013 01:28 PM

I agree with the idea of cutting your damaged hair off, but I also understand how that sounds as you're already upset about it being as short as it is.

Thing is, it's already short, and you might be surprised to find yourself feeling some relief by getting rid of all that damage. Sounds like that damage is literally weighing you down! And at a much shorter length, you won't have to use much hair product, and you'll be relieved of having to figure out how to style your hair to hide all that damage. You can invest in - what someone else suggested - cheap, but cool earrings. Black beauty supply stores almost always have $1 earrings. You could start there.

You'll get through this.

blessed2bhis1 09-14-2013 07:54 PM

Could I wear scarves or hankies?


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Firefox7275 09-15-2013 11:09 AM

Welcome!

Big chop and wear cheap earrings, pretty headbands, lipstick and a big smile to feel feminine.

Olive oil and coconut oil can both penetrate hair, doesn't have to be fancy virgin stuff budget works just as well. Water only washing is cheaper than any shampoo.

curlicious13 09-15-2013 11:35 AM

Colorful silk or satin scarf can compliment any outfit with some cute earrings & a beautiful smile. A scarf can also hide a bad hair day too. Lol 😉

CurlySuze 09-15-2013 08:52 PM

I know it's so overwhelming when you first try to go natural! Especially when a lot of amazing products are over $5-$10 and on a budget, getting them just isn't realistic. But have heart. You will get through this rough time. I agree with getting the big chop. I know you'll think you'll see just a 'boy' but think about the benefits you'll reap when months fly by and new hair starts to crop up! I wish you all the best on your hair journey. It's ALWAYS hard in the beginning but believe me it WILL get better!

adthomas 09-21-2013 11:44 PM

I personally would rather have shorter healthy hair than longer damaged hair. To me it looks better. I have done major cuts because of bad breakage once for heat damage and once for dye damage. I wasn't thrilled but my hair looked wayyyyy better. If the damage is bad enough sometimes a fresh start is the best option.. I suggest you get a really well shaped cut that will look good as it grows out. With proper care you will be surprised how well hair can grow. Being natural doesn't have to be expensive. Right now Im dc'ing with TN, honey, banana baby food and oil mix.


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