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Old 09-13-2013, 09:43 PM   #1
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 3
Post Please help! Need advice and support!

I'm literally shaking and crying, I don't know what to do, no body is supporting or helping me with my decision to go natural for my hair. I recently decided to stop pressing my hair with the damaging hot comb. My hair has been ruined for a loooooong time, and pressing it just turned out to be the icing on the cake for me. My hair was at least at chin length, but now it barely even goes (or grows) past the tip of my ears. That's a reaaaaaaaly short hair cut. A pixie cut some might say, with half curly/knotted/dry/brittle hair mixed with straight/thin/striving pieces hold on for dear life. This has probably been my 8Th time trying to go natural, but when I look in the mirror, I just see and ugly little boy (but I'm a girl, so what's wrong with this picture here?) I didn't get hired to any jobs (maybe my lack of luscious hair threw them off)_ so I will almost never have any money to buy any products, not to mention any home made stuff because there's almost always never any food in this house. I just really, honestly, need advice and support please. Maybe some money saving or cheap products that would work well on my hair (I could probably skip lunch and just save to buy something for my hair), and please some helpful tips, maybe on how I could style this short pixie damaged split ends into looking at least half decent, I hear the talk going around in school and it makes me very self conscious. Just please someone, anyone? Thank you so much for whoever took the time out of their day, lunch, night, into reading my sob story. If theirs really no hope for me then I guess I'll just turn towards pressing and hot combing my hair again until I graduate in June :S. Thank so, so much again. Please have a great day, God Bless
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Old 09-13-2013, 11:59 PM   #2
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3

If it is already pretty short and damaged, have you considered just big chopping it and shaving it all off?
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Old 09-14-2013, 08:19 AM   #3
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,898

I am sorry you are going through this. Hair can really affect how you feel about yourself. You may be better off getting it cut down to an inch and wearing a short wig until it grows out or wearing extensions.

In order to get a job, you need to project confidence. Fake it until you make it. Adding olive oil to a drugstore conditioner like tresseme naturals moisturizing one is a good start. Also, Sally's usually has generic versions of most salon products. Try to follow curly girl and conditioner wash with Suave Naturals conditioner and leave some of your rinse out conditioner in and use a cheap gel. A lot of this is trial and error.

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Old 09-14-2013, 09:10 AM   #4
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 902

It would be worth watching this and this and saying some affirmations daily like these In fact if you have a mirror that only you use write a couple out and attach them to that mirror.

As Brookskool already suggested it may be worth cutting your hair shorter and getting some pairs of nice (but cheap) earrings.

What hair products do you have already? As if you cut your hair shorter then some of them will still be perfect to use until you have get some money together to buy the products multicultcurly suggests.

Oh and when you buy oils they don't have to be extra virgin and organic. And make sure the gels are alcohol free.

BTW the links are all youtube videos
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Old 09-14-2013, 12:28 PM   #5
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,882

I agree with the idea of cutting your damaged hair off, but I also understand how that sounds as you're already upset about it being as short as it is.

Thing is, it's already short, and you might be surprised to find yourself feeling some relief by getting rid of all that damage. Sounds like that damage is literally weighing you down! And at a much shorter length, you won't have to use much hair product, and you'll be relieved of having to figure out how to style your hair to hide all that damage. You can invest in - what someone else suggested - cheap, but cool earrings. Black beauty supply stores almost always have $1 earrings. You could start there.

You'll get through this.
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Old 09-14-2013, 06:54 PM   #6
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 7

Could I wear scarves or hankies?

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Old 09-15-2013, 10:09 AM   #7
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,594


Big chop and wear cheap earrings, pretty headbands, lipstick and a big smile to feel feminine.

Olive oil and coconut oil can both penetrate hair, doesn't have to be fancy virgin stuff budget works just as well. Water only washing is cheaper than any shampoo.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG, growing out mechanical and chemical damage = breakage and very high porosity. Past armpit length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut
Treatments: Komaza Matani, coconut oil, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss ultimate volume, Inecto argan
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Boots Essentials gel
Experimenting with: going back to basics
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Old 09-15-2013, 10:35 AM   #8
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,163

Colorful silk or satin scarf can compliment any outfit with some cute earrings & a beautiful smile. A scarf can also hide a bad hair day too. Lol 😉
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Old 09-15-2013, 07:52 PM   #9
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 8

I know it's so overwhelming when you first try to go natural! Especially when a lot of amazing products are over $5-$10 and on a budget, getting them just isn't realistic. But have heart. You will get through this rough time. I agree with getting the big chop. I know you'll think you'll see just a 'boy' but think about the benefits you'll reap when months fly by and new hair starts to crop up! I wish you all the best on your hair journey. It's ALWAYS hard in the beginning but believe me it WILL get better!
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Old 09-21-2013, 10:44 PM   #10
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 3,628

I personally would rather have shorter healthy hair than longer damaged hair. To me it looks better. I have done major cuts because of bad breakage once for heat damage and once for dye damage. I wasn't thrilled but my hair looked wayyyyy better. If the damage is bad enough sometimes a fresh start is the best option.. I suggest you get a really well shaped cut that will look good as it grows out. With proper care you will be surprised how well hair can grow. Being natural doesn't have to be expensive. Right now Im dc'ing with TN, honey, banana baby food and oil mix.
"More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them." - Harold J. Smith.
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