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Old 10-20-2013, 06:45 AM   #1
 
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Angry Anti-naturals

Hey guys
i am 19 soon to be 20 and have now been transitioning for 5 1/2 months now. I come from a family where everyone has relaxed hair except the little kids and a cousin and a aunt. My parents are not fully supporting the idea of me going natural. They believe that i have beautiful hair. I really want to big chopbut my dad does not want me to cut my hair and my mother said that i will look like a slave. How do i convinced them to be on board with me and accept my decision?
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Old 10-20-2013, 07:04 AM   #2
 
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Just keep on transitioning. Natural hair looks as beautiful as permed hair. My mom hates that I won't press my hair. She always says "you look much better with pressed hair." Or she'll say "I don't like your hair". Once in response to that, I told her she didn't have to like my hair, but I did. Now I just smile & nod. I don't even respond anymore. She has her preference & I'm doing me.
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Old 10-20-2013, 08:25 AM   #3
 
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Have you explained how deeply hurtful it is to criticise your natural beauty? Parents should love you, support you and tell you that you are beautiful whatever. It can be very damaging to young women to have loved ones put them down.
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Old 10-20-2013, 08:41 AM   #4
 
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Because you are so young I wonder if you still live at home. If not, I say nod your head like you agree then ignore it. That is what I do when my parents bug me about something.

More slave hair comments. Your parents don't have a problem with your hair. They have a problem with themselves. That is how I feel about anyone who makes comment about slave hair as insult. My ancestors were slaves, and I am not ashamed of it. I am proud they found the strength to survive a dangerous Middle Passage voyage, centuries of being considered less than human and treated like cattle, kept their families together as best they could when their mothers, fathers and babies were being sold off, survived rapes and beatings, denied the right to an education.. They overcame so we wouldn't have to be slaves. I have ancestors who left the plantation to fight for the Union. If they hadn't manage to survive it we wouldn't be where we are today.
Any consolation my mom made similar comment when I stopped relaxing. Since then she not only did do my bc she bc'ed as well. If you want to go natural you need to decide not to care what other people think about it. I say better to have slave hair than a slave mentality. Good luck
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Old 10-20-2013, 08:43 AM   #5
 
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Btw your curly hair looks very pretty.
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Old 10-20-2013, 09:07 AM   #6
 
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I don't know that you need them to be on board with your decision since you're an adult. Parents generally don't always agree with everything we do but that's ok as long as it's what you want to do and you're not hurting anyone

Their comments may come from wanting to protect you from what they think others might think. And your dad not wanting you to cut your hair is normal. My dad always told me not to cut my hair when I was younger but when I became an adult I did what I wanted. It'll grow back. Once they see how gorgeous your natural hair is they'll be ok I think. They may just need to see it first.
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Old 10-20-2013, 07:09 PM   #7
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adthomas View Post
Because you are so young I wonder if you still live at home. If not, I say nod your head like you agree then ignore it. That is what I do when my parents bug me about something.

More slave hair comments. Your parents don't have a problem with your hair. They have a problem with themselves. That is how I feel about anyone who makes comment about slave hair as insult. My ancestors were slaves, and I am not ashamed of it. I am proud they found the strength to survive a dangerous Middle Passage voyage, centuries of being considered less than human and treated like cattle, kept their families together as best they could when their mothers, fathers and babies were being sold off, survived rapes and beatings, denied the right to an education.. They overcame so we wouldn't have to be slaves. I have ancestors who left the plantation to fight for the Union. If they hadn't manage to survive it we wouldn't be where we are today.
Any consolation my mom made similar comment when I stopped relaxing. Since then she not only did do my bc she bc'ed as well. If you want to go natural you need to decide not to care what other people think about it. I say better to have slave hair than a slave mentality. Good luck
Yah I still live at home. And thanks to all that said something and I will just do it at the end it's jut hair an it's mine.therefore I should be able to do whatever makes me happy
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Old 11-13-2013, 11:51 AM   #8
 
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Default You're hair is just like mine

I didn't know about curl patterns when I first transitioned and after a year and half I cracked under the pressure of my hateful family and relaxed my hair again. I've been natural for a year now and I regret relaxing my hair every day. Don't listen to them, it's going to take a few years for the hair to fall and be in any condition to style the way you're like. Trust me, wait at least three years before you do anything.
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Old 12-27-2013, 02:00 PM   #9
 
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I personally have relaxed hair but I know what it's like to be teased for wearing it naturally. Tell them how you feel when they say things like that. Or, ignore it and rock your curls chicka
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Old 01-17-2014, 07:25 AM   #10
 
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In my case I never received such comments but people around me did not understand why. When making the decision to be natural I promised myself that none of it would affect me. In principle affect me but now I feel super comfortable and I love it. Do what makes you happy.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:31 AM   #11
 
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It is your hair, it is gorgeous, do what you want! =)
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