Tyra Banks Show - Good Hair


I was at the park the other day and observed the most disgusting episode. There was a mom playing with her two daughters. She was pushing them on the swings, laughing with them and even going down the slide. She and her kids all had natural hair. One girl had a beautiful afro and the other had long natural braids. Granted, it was obvious that the braids had been done a while ago and there was some frizz on top - okay, a lot of frizz but she still looked beautiful and angelic. The whole family was amazing.

Sitting on a bench were two women - one with obviously relaxed pink hair and the other with a weave. Their girls were playing on the swings and every time they came up to ask their moms to play, the moms shoved them away and said they were busy. Those girls had perfect little corn rows and braids. The two moms pointed at the natural mom and her kids and kept talking about what a bad mother she was to leave her kids like that and that the kids looked to' up and that they would never let their kids look like that.

It was so sad, what they saw as messy and "to' up", I saw as a happy family with beautiful natural healthy hair.

Sorry this was so long...my point was that bonding between mom and daughters can happen in many ways, at the salon, at the playground, etc...althought the two mean moms and their kids probably had lots of "hair bonding" time together, their interactions didn't seem positive to me.
Originally Posted by desert flower
That's both a sad and hopeful story. Sad because the two women were so unaccepting, and hopeful because regardless of those same two women, the other family still had a great time together.

I suppose there is always going to be people who look on certain people and simply cannot accept their differences as unique rather than odd. There were some parts of that Tyra show that nearly made me cry, but I'm still hopeful that people will continue to grow and see natural hair, and all hair really, as beautiful.
... i understand the time issue, but getting my hair done was a bonding experience. ... i'm also concerned about the message that "i don't have time to do your hair" sends to the young girls...
Originally Posted by curlymami

Sooo true. I remember my mom doing my hair when I was a kid. She also taught me how to roller set when I was 16. To this day I still roller set my hair old school.
Originally Posted by intransition...again

I totally agree that beauty time can be a bonding ritual between moms and their daughters but it's the message behind it - are we doing this because we are special and deserve to get pampered or because we HAVE to do this to look acceptable?

I was at the park the other day and observed the most disgusting episode. There was a mom playing with her two daughters. She was pushing them on the swings, laughing with them and even going down the slide. She and her kids all had natural hair. One girl had a beautiful afro and the other had long natural braids. Granted, it was obvious that the braids had been done a while ago and there was some frizz on top - okay, a lot of frizz but she still looked beautiful and angelic. The whole family was amazing.

Sitting on a bench were two women - one with obviously relaxed pink hair and the other with a weave. Their girls were playing on the swings and every time they came up to ask their moms to play, the moms shoved them away and said they were busy. Those girls had perfect little corn rows and braids. The two moms pointed at the natural mom and her kids and kept talking about what a bad mother she was to leave her kids like that and that the kids looked to' up and that they would never let their kids look like that.

It was so sad, what they saw as messy and "to' up", I saw as a happy family with beautiful natural healthy hair.

Sorry this was so long...my point was that bonding between mom and daughters can happen in many ways, at the salon, at the playground, etc...althought the two mean moms and their kids probably had lots of "hair bonding" time together, their interactions didn't seem positive to me.
Originally Posted by desert flower
you're assuming those bench moms actually did their children's hair. if you're doing it only because you have to, then no, it's not what i would consider bonding. in fact, it can be detrimental if the child senses that it's a chore for you. hair bonding is a postive thing. so if it's not positive, then it's not bonding. that's the way i look at it.

as far as pampering...clean and well groomed hair is hygienic and it's an obligation as a parent. so on some level, it has to been done. i never felt "pampered" as a child on wash days. my hair was washed in the kitchen sink, and i sat on the floor in between my mom's legs while she braided my hair. i'd watch cartoons or we'd talk about my school work. it wasn't anything ground breaking, but i enjoyed that time with my mom. she was a single parent working two jobs, but she made the time to do my hair. of course i didn't appreciate it as a young girl, but now that i'm older i understand better.

and i don't disagree that parent-child bonding can happen in different areas. this post was about hair, so i spoke about hair bonding.
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Last edited by curlymami; 05-28-2009 at 11:28 AM.
you're assuming those bench moms actually did their children's hair. if you're doing it only because you have to, then no, it's not what i would consider bonding. in fact, it can be detrimental if the child senses that it's a chore for you. hair bonding is a postive thing. so if it's not positive, then it's not bonding. that's the way i look at it.

as far as pampering...clean and well groomed hair is hygienic and it's an obligation as a parent. so on some level, it has to been done. i never felt "pampered" as a child on wash days. my hair was washed in the kitchen sink, and i sat on the floor in between my mom's legs while she braided my hair. i'd watch cartoons or we'd talk about my school work. it wasn't anything ground breaking, but i enjoyed that time with my mom. she was a single parent working two jobs, but she made the time to do my hair. of course i didn't appreciate it as a young girl, but now that i'm older i understand better.

and i don't disagree that parent-child bonding can happen in different areas. this post was about hair, so i spoke about hair bonding.



I think we are looking at pampering in a different way. I didn't mean it was in some fancy spa with an iced drink (although that would be nice too! ).

My mom did my hair the exact same way yours did - on the floor between her legs and she would get up every once in a while to check on dinner or whatever. Still, I felt spoiled even back then because my parents were extremely busy and this was my special time with my mom - that is what I meant by pampering. This time was for me.

Now, taking care of your kid does mean they have to be clean and well groomed but after being a teacher for 5 years, I see that for some parents, this means chopping off the girl's hair so that it is simply wash and walk out of the house - both straight and curly hair. They may have bonded in other ways, but this wasn't it. It wasn't part of who those moms were and they didn't pass it down to their kids, I guess. I guess my issue is that a lot of people make the assumption that women whose kids may seem "messy" just don't take the time with their kids...for some people, that's true but for others, they may just have a different perspective. This woman in the park had natural hair that wasn't gelled into place and therefore her kids had the same hair. I didn't like how she was perceived as a bad mom, that's all.

The fact that our moms took the time and energy (and patience, because we all know we weren't always angelic about it!) to braid or rollerset or whatever too me, is very pampering. It's that extra step. Now you're going to make me go call my mom!

Last edited by desert flower; 05-28-2009 at 11:53 AM.
you're assuming those bench moms actually did their children's hair. if you're doing it only because you have to, then no, it's not what i would consider bonding. in fact, it can be detrimental if the child senses that it's a chore for you. hair bonding is a postive thing. so if it's not positive, then it's not bonding. that's the way i look at it.

as far as pampering...clean and well groomed hair is hygienic and it's an obligation as a parent. so on some level, it has to been done. i never felt "pampered" as a child on wash days. my hair was washed in the kitchen sink, and i sat on the floor in between my mom's legs while she braided my hair. i'd watch cartoons or we'd talk about my school work. it wasn't anything ground breaking, but i enjoyed that time with my mom. she was a single parent working two jobs, but she made the time to do my hair. of course i didn't appreciate it as a young girl, but now that i'm older i understand better.

and i don't disagree that parent-child bonding can happen in different areas. this post was about hair, so i spoke about hair bonding.



I think we are looking at pampering in a different way. I didn't mean it was in some fancy spa with an iced drink (although that would be nice too! ).

My mom did my hair the exact same way yours did - on the floor between her legs and she would get up every once in a while to check on dinner or whatever. Still, I felt spoiled even back then because my parents were extremely busy and this was my special time with my mom - that is what I meant by pampering. This time was for me.

Now, taking care of your kid does mean they have to be clean and well groomed but after being a teacher for 5 years, I see that for some parents, this means chopping off the girl's hair so that it is simply wash and walk out of the house - both straight and curly hair. They may have bonded in other ways, but this wasn't it. It wasn't part of who those moms were and they didn't pass it down to their kids, I guess. I guess my issue is that a lot of people make the assumption that women whose kids may seem "messy" just don't take the time with their kids...for some people, that's true but for others, they may just have a different perspective. This woman in the park had natural hair that wasn't gelled into place and therefore her kids had the same hair. I didn't like how she was perceived as a bad mom, that's all.

The fact that our moms took the time and energy (and patience, because we all know we weren't always angelic about it!) to braid or rollerset or whatever too me, is very pampering. It's that extra step. Now you're going to make me go call my mom!
Originally Posted by desert flower

i gotcha. ITA with the bolded.

i understand what you mean about "messy" kids. we can sometimes be judgmental and not really consider other people's circumstances. but as you pointed out, the mom was compensating by spending time with her children. and it's probably not a bad message to say 'it's ok to have some fuzz. that's how your hair is. you don't have to be perfect, and i will still love you.'
natural since 1998. trying to adapt to this midwest weather while still keeping it simple. current length: MBL (stretched)

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Watching that episode made me sick to my stomach! :[
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I remember the part on the show when the woman in a blue shirt felt natural, unrelaxed hair was "unprofessional", and not suitable for a business environment. So I'm like....you're telling me that you don't respect yourself? Obviously, because you continue to work in places and in a mindset that the WAY GOD MADE YOU is unacceptable in the working world.
Couldn't believe it.
There was also the girl who's mother was fighting with her because she decided to go all natural. Her mother said she is ashamed of her and won't introduce her as her daughter.
I kind of feel that tension with my mother. When I told her I was going to stop relaxing, she raised an eyebrow at me. A really high one. And my aunt used to do my hair but now has to send me to someone else in the salon because she doesn't know how to take care of transitioning or natural hair. Sad.
Curlycola-

I just feel like hair schools must be doing us a great disservice because it seems that instead of teaching students how to care for both relaxed and unrelaxed hair the emphasis is on the former! What a shame...so many hair professionals don't even know how to work with natural hair. I am blessed to have one who does, but I am aware at how few there are! What's more the ones who do the knowledge tend to discourage it.
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Curlycola-

I just feel like hair schools must be doing us a great disservice because it seems that instead of teaching students how to care for both relaxed and unrelaxed hair the emphasis is on the former! What a shame...so many hair professionals don't even know how to work with natural hair. I am blessed to have one who does, but I am aware at how few there are! What's more the ones who do the knowledge tend to discourage it.
Originally Posted by krj1908
That's so true, krj. I'd been searching for a while, and most "professionals" who said they knew how to care for natural hair just knew how to do roller sets or press&curl. I'm lucky to find through a friend someone who professionally caters to natural hair here in DC. But I'm leaving soon for school and then I'll have to search all over again >_>
Speaking of that show, did you (or anyone else) notice that for that particular "Good Hair/Bad Hair" episode that Tyra had cornrows? Just for that show though. The next day, the wig was definitely back.
Sorry... I'm not a Tyra fan.

Her shows are way too sensational and over the top.

Did she take out her extentions and rock her fro?
Originally Posted by Trinigirl

LOL I'm not her fan either.I don't think so because she loves her weave allot :P .She only braided her hair for the show so I can't take her seriously.
Natural since Jan 2,07
I did a BC
Hair type:3C\3B
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Mission: to obtain healthy hair every day!!

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So I finally pulled up the recent Tyra Banks show about good hair on Youtube. It actually pained me to watch some parts of it. But I pushed through it. The worst part was watching the little girls talk about how they didn't like their own hair. The mother of one of the girls even admitted to having dated someone who wasn't black so that she could produce a biracial child who wouldn't have "bad hair" and be made fun of! Another woman admitted to relaxing her 3 year old daughter's hair and yet another mother admitted to relaxing AND putting weave into her 8 year old's hair...GEEZ!!!!


There is also a brief heated discussion between 3 ladies (that I wish Tyra had allowed to go on for longer) regarding how damaging chemical relaxers are to the hair. There were 2 ladies who was obviously misinformed about how damaging relaxers are and swore up and down that their hair was oh so healthy! Tyra could have done a great service by having an expert on to explain what a relaxer does to the hair.

I suppose I could go on and on about the show. Did anyone else see it?
Originally Posted by krj1908
Yah I wish she did that.She probably just cared about the ratings....and i'm surprised that a social worker didn't take away the lady's daugher who got her hair relaxed at the age of 3 :0.
Natural since Jan 2,07
I did a BC
Hair type:3C\3B
Multi-racial hair
Hair length:Started at neck and ears(in its curly state).In Dec 08 (2 years natural) My hair was somewhere near armpit length with bentonite clay in my hair.

Mission: to obtain healthy hair every day!!

Hair products:homemade products.....


OMG. I need to go watch that. Perm for a 3 yo! Wow.
Originally Posted by Gretchen
Yes I saw this part and got teary-eyed. So sad!
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I saw that the 3 year old got a perm too. OMG!!! That is just wrong!!! You could also see she was in such pain.
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