Transitioners support thread

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I stopped relaxing about a year ago, did a lot of wet sets and finally, I cut off all of the relaxed hair. I didn't realize that the relaxed hair was what was giving me the curls of my dreams! I used a children's texture softener...yeah, I know, a mild relaxer...but I would only leave it in for about 5 minutes. Then it was a couple of inches long and I could still get a handle on it.

Now my hair is down to my jawbone and somewhere on my head has every type you could think of! It goes from a 2b to a 4a! What the heck am I supposed to do with it? Some days, it tries to be a 'fro, never quite succeeding because it's relatively fine. I don't have a natural hair care salon probably within 50 miles (I live in Huntington, WV) to help me so I'm kind of winging this! Almost every black woman I know here either relaxes her hair, has braids or just flatirons it to death.

My hair is fine but strong. It doesn't need a lot of heat to straighten it and most oils just kind of sit on top of it, never actually sinking in. I find that cream leave-in's do a lot better and some sprays work very well too.

The pictures at the bottom are over a 5 month span: June (flat ironed) to today (Aveeno nourish leave in and Shea Moisture Curling souffle).

I just want defined curls with minimal frizz! Help!

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This is my second time going natural. I started last year, deciding to BC at the last minute. At m 3 month mark, I broke down and relaxed, I was uberly upset with myself. So I'm giving it another shot. My last relaxer was on 09/15/2011. I have had a short, relaxed, pixie styled cut, similiar to Halle Berry. My last cut was was in August. So far, the back of my hair is NOTHING but new growth. So I've decided to weave it up. Only problem, I don't have enough for a sew in, I've "guess'timated" that I should have enough hair to braid in March, for a sew-in. I'm contemplating taking my bonded weave out, and seeing if my hair will curl up...but I'm scared of the "result". I plan to transition for a year before chopping. Anyone transitioners with (or had) very short hair and what were your transitioning styles as you grew your hair out?





MissusTiff
Hello MissusTiff and welcome to the world of natural! It can be challenging transitioning into natural, but you can surely do it. If you are going to weave it while your hair continues to grow be sure to wash, deep condition, and keep your ends trimmed. Once your hair has grown to the length of your choice, you won't have to worry about cutting 1-2 full inches of dead hair off.

I wore a sew in weave for a year; having it taken out and re-done 1 to every 2 months, and cut that dead hair out so once my hair was at a length I was pleased with I began rocking my natural hair. A great deep penetrating conditioner is Motions Professional CPR Deep Conditioning Treatment. Good luck with your transition and if you feel like giving up and relaxing it again, come back to CurlTalk for support from your natural hair sistas.

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Curly Simone
Thank you sooo much for your reply CurlySimone, I appreciate your feedback.
Those days I feel discouraged, I will be back for more support!





MissusTiff
Hello All,

I am glad I found this forum. I am in the process of transitioning and I could really use the support of this community so that I can be successful. I wuold hate to have to go back to relaxing my hair. I think I have Type 4 hair, but it has been so long since I have seen my natural hair that I could not be certain. I have not relaxed my hair in about four months and plan on working with the relaxed hair rather than do the Big Chop. I do like blowdrying and flat-ironing my hair (yes, I know it is not the best thing) mostly because I like to keep things simple. My hair is usually in a pony tail or pulled back with a skinny headband and always straight, no curls.
Any advice for someone like me would be appreciated. Also, is there someplace where I can go to find product reviews or recommended products for transitioning? I have always used Aveda products, but I am not certain if they will work best with my hair now that it is in this stage of limbo.

Thanx!!
Hey all!

So, I have finally decided to start the transition from relaxed to natural. At first I wasn't really sure about doing it because I've never really liked to spend too much time on my hair. I'm one of those people who just liked to wake up, brush it out, maybe curl the ends a bit and go on about my business. My sister, who has been natural for about a year now, would keep trying to convince me that I should go natural. I tried it for a bit, but after about 3 months I was done with the dry roots and the breakage, so back to the creamy crack I went.

But sometime in December an old picture resurfaced of me at 11 years old, one year before my first relaxer. I saw how thick and healthy it was then and saw how thin, dry, and brittle my hair has become since. My last relaxer was in late October 2011. Its been almost 3 months and its getting near that time when I usually get my relaxer. Right now all the support I have is a mom and sister who both live 1000 miles away and that old picture. Sorry if this seems a little long-winded, but I'm so glad I found this site because any and all support on this journey is much appreciated, especially since I now feel like a hot mess most of the time.
I've always had my hair relaxed. Since I can remember. People talk about how when they relaxed their hair, it would never grow past shoulder length and would constantly break off. But I've never really had that problem. The longest it got was to the middle of my back before I decided to bob it (worst decision ever). But I love curly hair and my mom tells me my hair was never kinky in any way. I've been growing out my hair and it's gotten so long, but recently I've been thinking about going natural...but do you really have to cut your hair off and start over? My hair grows fast but, I don't know...I started growing it out in like May or June and by the end of the summer it went from middle of my neck and thin to a little bit below collar bone length and thick. Would I really have to cut my hair off again? Also how long is transitioning?
Hello WannaGoCurl (cute username by the way)! I, too, love curly hair. I recall having my first relaxer @18yrs old and not going back natural hair until I was 27. I'm now in my 30's and it's the best decision I've ever made.

Now to answer your question...
When I decided to go natural I tried letting my natural hair grow while the relaxer was still on the middle and ends of my hair- BIG MISTAKE, because as a naturally, very curly hair textured girl, I'd want to wash and go, but my hair looked awful due to 1/2 my hair being curly and the middle and ends being straight and stringy. I believe it has a lot to do with the texture of your hair whether or not you should go natural or not. My hair is extremely curly so it doesn't mix well with straight hair. Also, when relaxed hair meets curly hair, it tends to break off- they just don't mesh well at all. It's really like adding fume to the fire.

I finally did the BIG chop- this way you can see the true beauty of your hair and you can wash-n-go if you'd like without having to blow dry and flat iron your hair until the relaxer is completely gone.

Here's a piece of advice if you'd like to keep length to your hair if you do decide to do the big chop... Usually, curly/natural hair women have a problem with shrinkage when our hair is wet and because my hair is so curly when it's wet, my hair looks like it only goes just past my earlobe when it really is way past my shoulders. When I wet, wash, or pre-wash my hair, I section my hair off into 8 sections. I evenly distribute Blue Magic Olive Oil Leave-In-Conditioning Cream throughout each section, while blow drying each section one at a time (just air dry- don't use the blow dryer with a comb or brush. You can also use a diffuser). This step only takes about 20 minutes and I only have to follow this every 3-4 days. The results- looser, bouncy, and moisturized curls that moves every time I move my head. The Blue Magic Olive Oil Leave-in-Conditioning Cream is so moisturizing that I don't need to use a spray oil or oil sheen afterwards, and I have very dry hair. If you would prefer to use a good oil on your hair, you should definitely buy Palmer's Olive Oil Spray Oil- this oil will seal every curly strand on your head. Before going to bed I always wrap my entire head in a silk scarf to protect my ends and maintain moisture throughout my hair.

I hope my advice is helpful to you in making a decision to do the BIG chop or allowing the relaxer to grow out while you go natural. Please keep me updated and let me and the forum know what you decide to do.

Curly Simone
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Curly Simone
Hello WannaGoCurl (cute username by the way)! I, too, love curly hair. I recall having my first relaxer @18yrs old and not going back natural hair until I was 27. I'm now in my 30's and it's the best decision I've ever made.

Now to answer your question...
When I decided to go natural I tried letting my natural hair grow while the relaxer was still on the middle and ends of my hair- BIG MISTAKE, because as a naturally, very curly hair textured girl, I'd want to wash and go, but my hair looked awful due to 1/2 my hair being curly and the middle and ends being straight and stringy. I believe it has a lot to do with the texture of your hair whether or not you should go natural or not. My hair is extremely curly so it doesn't mix well with straight hair. Also, when relaxed hair meets curly hair, it tends to break off- they just don't mesh well at all. It's really like adding fume to the fire.

I finally did the BIG chop- this way you can see the true beauty of your hair and you can wash-n-go if you'd like without having to blow dry and flat iron your hair until the relaxer is completely gone.

Here's a piece of advice if you'd like to keep length to your hair if you do decide to do the big chop... Usually, curly/natural hair women have a problem with shrinkage when our hair is wet and because my hair is so curly when it's wet, my hair looks like it only goes just past my earlobe when it really is way past my shoulders. When I wet, wash, or pre-wash my hair, I section my hair off into 8 sections. I evenly distribute Blue Magic Olive Oil Leave-In-Conditioning Cream throughout each section, while blow drying each section one at a time (just air dry- don't use the blow dryer with a comb or brush. You can also use a diffuser). This step only takes about 20 minutes and I only have to follow this every 3-4 days. The results- looser, bouncy, and moisturized curls that moves every time I move my head. The Blue Magic Olive Oil Leave-in-Conditioning Cream is so moisturizing that I don't need to use a spray oil or oil sheen afterwards, and I have very dry hair. If you would prefer to use a good oil on your hair, you should definitely buy Palmer's Olive Oil Spray Oil- this oil will seal every curly strand on your head. Before going to bed I always wrap my entire head in a silk scarf to protect my ends and maintain moisture throughout my hair.

I hope my advice is helpful to you in making a decision to do the BIG chop or allowing the relaxer to grow out while you go natural. Please keep me updated and let me and the forum know what you decide to do.

Curly Simone
Originally Posted by CurlySimone
I will let you know! I'm still kind of thinking about it, though! But your information helped a lot!
Ok, I am currently wearing senegalese twists. I got them in early January. And I plan to take them out in early March. The plan was to take my hair out and let it breathe for a week. Then get a sew in to help me transition to the year mark in May. But let me be real, I am worried about me liking the sew in. I've always worn my real hair when relaxed, and I have beautiful thick hair. So I'm worried about my feelings for wearing weave: I have never been in favor of people who wore weave and what full healthy hair. I'm just venting, but I also need some tips. Is a week long enough for my hair to rest? Should I get a sew in? If not, what do you recommend??

THANK FOR THE HELP GUYS!!
Hi,
I am new to transitioning and to the site. I was really wanting to BC because I want to just see my curly hair, but my man doesn't want me to just chop it off. My family also wants me to let it grow out some more. I have always had long hair and was a little reluctant too. So, I have been washing my hair once a week with UltraSheen Sufate free Hydrating shampoo, which really leaves my hair soft and manageable. I also use Pantene Pro-V for Relaxed and Natural as a co-washer and regular conditioner. Then I apply Silk Fusion for 1 -3 minutes to give my hair more moisturizing and softness.
I use Hair Mayo for a deep conditioner or Silk Fusion.
I have been using Ultra Sheen Carson Leave in conditioner.
I used unrefined Shea butter as sealant. I loved the results.
What can I use on my natural hair (at the roots) to keep them soft and moist after my hair has dried?
jeniece.lyon likes this.
hippiedoll's Avatar
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 398
How do you all finish your twists? I can't figure out how to finish them with the relaxed ends and all, they won't finger coil like I've seen full naturals do.
Originally Posted by naturaldoll
Twist outs usually don't work for me after 4-5 weeks into transitioning. My twist outs tend to look stringy. When I do braid outs I don't braid my hair all the way to the ends I just twist or twirl the ends around and secure them with bobby pins.
Hello all,

I decided to start a long term transition about a month ago. I am currently co-washing and have strayed from frequent use of heat but I'm having a hard time with protective styling. I am in the very early phases of transition and the relaxed hair outweighs what new growth I have by A LOT. Two strand twist look weird because of my straight hair at the end. Are there any other protective styles I can wear while waiting to see my natural hair?
Great advice. I am a new transitioner. I am 4 months post-relaxer. I will defiantly follow your advice and ask this wonderful forum questions when I have any!
Joan_Morel likes this.
Hey ladies...I too have decided to partake on this natural journey to see where it leads me. I kind of have an idea of what to expect when it's natural because my 3 year old daughter is natural and I am the only person who does her hair. I believe that I have been gentle enough to it for it to have grown almost to her waist...but as for my own hair, I only have one memory of my hair in it's natural state. That is when I used to get a hard press. Even then though, didn't my hair have some sort of heat damage? I have no clue...I do remember my hair being curly after I washed it (but I didn't pay any attention to the curls because the next day I was getting my press), and then immediately proceeded to "comb out the knots" WITHOUT any type of conditioner/detangler! The only clues I have is that 1 inch new growth that seems to have a uniform pattern to it BUT I heard someone say something about scab hair and I got confused. I am so afraid that I won't like how my hair is...so I decided to go the route of trying to maintain both textures and trimming as needed. My hair is to my bra strap and I have grown it back after my last child thinned it out so bad!!! I would love to come on here and get more advice and some support...as well as giving that same advice and support...I have learned so much for my daughter's hair...I think it's time for me to jump on board and accept my natural hair
Joan_Morel likes this.
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 7
Hello ladies,I just started my transitioning process and it's been 2 mths since I had my last relaxer; I was just wondering do any of u all started or have curls in your head cause my hair just feels bushy and a lil wavy wit my new growth, and do u have to use a clarifying shampoo once u start the transitioning process b/c I used elucence moisture balance
Hey all.

I'm about three months into my transition, and, while my newgrowth is doing well, when I try and do some of my wider protective styles (i.e. French Braid crowns, French Braids, etc.) it just looks really matted.
And, I'm not ashamed of it or anything, but, natural, transitioning or relaxed, the whole "matted new growth" is not the look anyone wants to rock.
Do any of y'all have that problem? If so... What did you do for it?
December 21, 2011 - Last Relaxer
April 1, 2012 - Transitioning Began
March 30, 2013 - Big Chopped

High Density. Medium-Low Porosity. Kinky. Shoulder Length.

*Excuse my Texas.
I have a stupid question. How long does it take to transition? And how do you know that all of your rebonded hair has been cut off? It's just that a year ago my not curly hair was rebonded (I know, shameful) because my mom got sick of my hair being not completely straight but not curly (just a VERY slight bend) either. Just a poofy mess. So I was wondering how'd I know if it's my natural hair and that all the rebonded strands are cut off.
Hello ladies! I am one week away from being six months into my transition journey, my last relaxer was march 15th. I can't wait to be fully natural
I am transitioning and I am 15 months post texlaxer, my last texlaxer was March 31st, 2010. I am aiming to transitioning short term for 24 months. So will see how it goes, there are days wen I want to BC now and there are days when I want to go longer and wait the 24 months. Nevertheless, I am enjoying my journey to natural hair .
Originally Posted by Leentora
Update, I am fully natural, as been since March 2012. i did transition for 24 months. I am now 5 months post and I am loving my natural hair and the journey.

Word of encouragement to those still transitioning, keep on going. It will be worth the investment and time that you put into transitioning. You will be glad you did, when you reach the end of your transition .

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