It's funny. I don't recall ever having hair this short. When I told my Mom today that I had cut off all of my hair and sent her a photo by Iphone, she said that same. She told me that even at the age of 1, my hair was longer.
Let me first say that today, Dec, 2, the first day with 100% natural hair (as little hair that I have on my head) I'm okay. Yesterday i celebrated all of the hair piled on top of my head even though it was half relaxed and half natural, half split and broken and dry and brittle and straight and half extra curly kinky healthy and thick. Today, not telling a single soul, i walked into the hair dresser and covered the floor in my hair. You see I did not tell a soul because i was tired if hearing people weigh in on my hair and offering their unsolicited opinions of what I should ad should not do with my hair. This was mine.
And why didn't I just continue transitioning? I had transitioned for the last 4 months. Well, two reasons. 1) washing my hair had become maddening. The two textures were such polar extremes that knots and dreads continued to form an the ends and I had picked up the scissors on more than one occasion. 2) The dead and damaged hair had become a metaphor for my life. I had been holding on so long and so hard to the damaged, dead and broken hair on my head for fear of losing what I had. I had on so strong and so type that I was not allowing myself to truly experience something greater, a new head of healthy and happy hair. It was tight to let go.
So when my hair was all cut and my hair was all washed, i took a moment to moourn the hair on the floor. I picked it up, cradled it, said good bye and tossed it aside. Then I left he salon with a smile, of to find some big earrings and a new shade of red lipstick.
Now I am trying to ensure that I keep my hair healthy and moisturized and that I learn to own my hair and my look and grow it out beautifully. Until I can do that, I may be wearing my hair out some days and for work covering with a wig.