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Do or Die!
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Hair Updates
posted on Mar 10, 2010 by Queen Lene
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It has been a while since my last post and I have a few updates. I wish I could post pictures but I am having camera issues. 1) BYE BYE MICRO BRAIDS!! I loved the braids in the beginning. And in retrospect it was good to give my hair a break for two months. However, towards the end things were not so great. I took my braids out a week earlier than I intended because I had a braid fall out from the root right along my edges. Horrible sign. When I took my braids out I realized why I don't particularly care for weaves. It took me 6 hours (over a two day period) The hair that was braided along the edges were turning into little dread things. I was afraid to comb out my own hair so I wore a scarf for two days until I could get to the hair salon. 2)The Hair Salon I am studying abroad in London so I had no idea about what I was going to do with my hair. I knew I needed a trim and some type of treatment after the braids and I was too afraid to come it out myself. Luckily, I have a cousin who lives here so she referred me to someone. The hairstylist was very nice and they did a deep conditioning treatment with Nexxus Humectress. My hair was unbelievably soft. She blowdried and flat-ironed it and it looked better than how my hair looks after a fresh relaxer some days. I almost felt like a sell-out to this whole transitioning process even though I didn't relax. I felt myself slipping back into "straight hair mentality". For a minute there I thought maybe I do want to keep on relaxing. But it has been a couple of days and I'm terribly bored with the straight hair. I plan on doing a braidout when my sister visits me with the hair products I asked her to bring. As a result of straightening my hair, I have no idea about the texture of my new growth at the moment 3)Class In my Britain & Slavery class we were discussing the survival of African culture and hair came up. I am the only black person in this class so you know all eyes were on me. My teacher remarked that when he visitied Barbados he saw lots of little girls running around with wild hair that was sticking up but their mothers had straight hair that was more eurocentric. Let's put his problematic description of the little girls' natural hair aside. I had to explain the relaxing process to him and told him that in order to truly explain the politics of BLack hair we would need a couple of classes to really get into it lol. I also told the class that I was transitioning so I sort of fell like a sell-out again when I showed up with straightened hair on Tuesday. Then today my Corporate Communications teacher commented on the fact that my hair was worn down today, out of the braids. He said it doesn't make a difference but I could tell he preferred the straight down look. We'll see if he says anything when I wear my braidout. HA. This makes me wonder about my future in corporate America. 4)Sites Through reading some blogs, I found maneandchic.com. It is like a one-stop shop for transitioners. I just love it! I learned which tools to buy (I got a Jilbere shower comb and a denman brush). My natural godsister also recommended tightlycurly.com. I recently also found napturality. Anywho, I'm excited to continue on this journey. 3.5 months post-relaxer! |
Frustrated
posted on Feb 14, 2010 by Queen Lene
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I think this blog will be my only outlet to talk about my transition process. I am frustrated because I haven't been getting the responses I wanted. I didn't expect everyone to be all in with me but I am excited about this and naturally I want to share w/my loved ones. No one has been vehemently against it but not 100% for it either. My younger brother (15 y.o.) was bold enough to tell me I would hate my hair so I might as well stop now. As I mentioned in my first post it was between this or a Halle Berry cut but I was tired of relaxers so I decided to go w/natural. Well, everyone I tell this too tells me I should get a Halle Berry cut even after I let them know I already made my decision. This tells me they're not 100% supportive. My sister doesn't think I can do it on my own but I have to because the point is to be able to care for my own hair. I didn't start washing my own hair until a few months ago so this shocks her. But I figure if I can master how to wash, blowdry and flat iron my hair after not knowing how to all my life I can do this.  Halloween 09, 1st time I flatironed my hair on my own!That being said, luckily I am in London, miles & miles away from family and friends. So I can skype home w/a headscarf on and stop talking about my transition to avoid criticism. I am doing this for myself and I don't need anyone discouraging me from my decision. When I get back in May, I'll be strong enough not to go back to the creamy crack. I wanted to post a pic of my new growth but it's not working. :( |
I Am Not Hair?
posted on Feb 8, 2010 by Queen Lene
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I, like many others on here, have used India Arie's classic song, I Am not Hair, as an inspiration. I've only recently started to tell people about my decision to go natural and have gotten mixed reviews. I've been constantly reminded that I don' t have "that" kind of hair, meaning my hair doesn't form cute ringlets or spirals when natural. Apparently natural hair is only cute when it looks like that and I have nappy hair so.....I guess I won't be cute in their eyes? Next comment, "Your gonna lose all that hair".  I think I'll be OK!Hearing comments like these have the tendency to make me doubt my decision. So, I'll throw on some India Arie and forget about the detractors. But as much as I love the song, to what extent do I embody the principle? I'd be a liar if I said I don't think hair is important. In fact, I think hair along with eyebrows can completely alter your face. I'm a marketing major, so I believe that appearances do matter. But I also know that Black women (me included) put too much emphasis on their hair. Here's a story to illustrate my point, Per usual, my sister (13 at the time) was getting her touch up on a Sunday afternoon. I (11 at the time) watched as my mother applied the relaxer as I usually did because I found the process so interesting (I was still natural at the time). My sister had a friend over who pointed out to my mother that some of her hair seemed to be coming out in the comb. My mother told her it was normal and she needed to stop worrying. My sister's friend left and it was time to rinse. As my mother rinsed out the relaxer, clumps and clumps of my sister's hair fell out. I stood there mortified as I watched my sister become bald-headed. If you walked into the middle of this scene, you would've thought someone died the way we were wailing. I immediately called my father and then my aunt sobbing to tell them what had happened"HER HAIR, IT'S GONE, SHE'S BALD". My mother tried to calm us down but it was as if the world was ending. When my father got home, he looked at us like we were crazy! Did I really call him on the phone like that sobbing over some hair? It wasn't even my hair but I felt the pain for my sister. She declared that she was not going to school the next day but my mother shot that idea down, gave her a comb over to hide the fact that she had no edges and called it a day. Looking back on this scene I get a good laugh. My sister still doesn't find it so funny. But, in our defense, it was junior high and losing all your hair one month before graduation is a traumatic experience. (Still, two years later I went and got my first relaxer). The fact that we mourned her hair like it was a person is quite an issue. And many women have similar stories. Our hair can be important to us, it can serve as an outward expression of who we are, it can be an accessory. But it should not be the end all, be all. Our lives can go on with or without it. And there is certainly not one standard of beauty when it comes to our hair. So I'm excited for the napturality that I will encounter in the months to come. I am not my hair, my hair is part of me. (P.S. My mommma told me I had good hair, and that's all that matters soo glad/surprised I have her support) |
My Hair Story
posted on Feb 5, 2010 by Queen Lene
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I can still remember the day, Sunday October 25th, 2003: The day I got my first relaxer. For me, {and I'm sure many others} getting a relaxer was a right of passage. It was the logical next step and being nearly 13 years old I was getting "too old" to wear my hair natural. When I was twelve years and hit puberty my hair got coarser. You see, I was always a very tender-headed child so people were never too keen on doing my hair. I also get very moody when I'm getting my hair done {worse than PMS moody, is this wierd?} My older sister and cousin, the two people who would braid my hair, were getting older and busier and no longer had time to deal with my hair or my crying. My mother was sick and tired of putting up with my attitude and I was sick and tired of having her do my hair. This is why my hair was in a perpetual afro puff ponytail, and a horrible one at that. I had no idea of how to deal with my own hair so I would rock my afro puff ponytail and go days without combing it. Not cute! So, alas on that autumn afternoon, I did what I had to do {right?}, if anything to salvage the deteriorating relationship with my mother. My mother bought two {not one, but two!} boxes of PCJ relaxer to tame my hair. My sister was on guard with a paper towel just in case any chemicals fell on my skin. My father pleaded with me not to do it but I had to explain to him that it was time, his little girl was growing up. Around this time my neck was also suffering a rash from my eczema. When that relaxer fell on my neck, Whoo child! I could just feel it burning. I screamed to my sister,WIPE it OFF! And we kept on with the process, beauty is pain, I reminded myself. The next day @ school, people oohed and aahed, others let me know it was about time. I smiled, loved the attention and tried not to think about what was going on with my neck. Six + years later, I miss my nappy hair! The decision to go natural has forced me to evaluate my decision to get a relaxer in the first place. Why did a relaxer equate to growing up in my mind? Today, I know that maturity cannot come as a result of some chemicals. I'm wearing micro braids right now and I can't wait to take them out so I can see my new growth. I'm excited about this journey but I know reality will hit me when I start dealing w/the two textures. Enjoy! |
Do or Die
posted on Feb 4, 2010 by Queen Lene
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I made a promise to myself that before 2010 was over I was going to do something drastic. I gave myself two options: |
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Do or Die!
- by Queen Lene
- I 'm a 19 year old college student from NJ. After years of secretely thinking about it, I finally made the decision to go natural! My blogs will be about my transition and the challenges I'm sure to face along the way.
