I can not tell you how much I hate the two words "good hair."

I mean, detest, absolutely abhor, despise. You get the picture.

I hear that simple yet complex phrase at least four times a week, and one would think with the ever evolving natural hair movement that we would be able to escape a mental slavery that only one type of hair is "good hair."

As a stylist it is my job to educate clients on their hair type.

There is such a diverse mixture of curl patterns and hair types. I must say that NaturallyCurly does an amazing job at providing diversity for every curl type. Now, we all know that most people want what they don’t have. I, for instance, would love a round tight tosh and a flat firm midriff; but I also like to eat cake, bread, and pie all day without any repercussions (y'all know I had to throw that in).

Some things we can work towards, like having a healthy body, eating right, and taking care of our beautiful hair and skin.

There are also things that we were blessed with and we can not change them if remaining 'natural' is the ultimate goal. You can not take your 4c hair that shrinks up ever so gracefully and turn it into the curl pattern of 3a hair. But please do not get it twisted, both patterns are beautiful, they are just different.  

When did being different become a bad thing?

We have taken the beauty of individuality and let society tell us that if you don’t look like this picture you are not attractive. Who said that your curls aren’t long thick ringlets you weren’t smiled upon when God created you.

This is a curl intervention.

We have to stop letting the same people that wake up, brush their teeth, take a bath, eat, work, and sleep, define what beauty should look like.

Once you make a conscious decision to accept who you are and what you look like, then you can work on how to bring out the beauty in your hair and body that God intended for you to put on display. Embrace your diverse curls, kinks, waves, and wear them proudly. If you want to color your hair pink, paint it up. Want to rock your locs? Do the dog-on thang. Feeling like you just don’t want to be bothered, shave it all off -- go diva! For those whose motto is “where there is a weave there is a way”, I say, strut all 20 inches with pride. At the end of the day love your hair and encourage those around you to fall in love with theirs.

When people tell me, "If I had 'good hair' like you I would be too happy," my response is, "all hair that is growing is good hair. When it starts falling out, that’s when we have a problem we need to address.

At the end of the day I can’t claim that my hair type is better than any other because my daughters, mother, sisters, nieces, friends, and some clients don’t have my hair type. If I were to define my hair as "good hair" I would be saying that my babies and the people that I love so dearly had 'bad hair.' I have made a conscious effort to stop perpetuating this lie and I encourage you to do the same.

Jatia Sanchez, Makeup Artist at Looks By Lady Amour, says the media needs to help us take a stand. “I think it's important to depict diversity in the media because it's vital for people to see positive realistic representations of themselves. It's hard to be confident and see yourself as beautiful when most of the people that are promoted as the beauty standard look nothing like you. Media is one of the strongest forms of communication we have as a society. Unfortunately it's often used to promote stereotypes instead of being used as a tool to educate ourselves on the differences of others.”

Look in the mirror, your good hair is staring back at you.

Read Stacy's latest, Dear Single Mothers: YOU Have the Hardest Job, But Don't Give Up

photos by Lisa-Marie Lovett, makeup by Jatia Sanchez, wardrobe by Tametria Campbell