Dear coily girl,

You are beautiful. You are magical. Your hair texture is golden and your spirit is free. These are all of the things women with coily, kinky, and curly hair would love to hear. Instead, society throws different words and phrases into our view by calling our hair, ‘nappy,’ ‘crazy,’ ‘wild,’ or ‘unacceptable.’

illustration courtesy of KateKitt — Getty Images

As a dark-skinned woman with kinky, coily type 4 hair I understand our daily struggles.

They tell you that you don’t fit the world’s view of beauty. They tell you your hair texture isn’t “good enough” because it has a few extra curls that most don’t have.

But what they don’t know is the internal impact their external words have on our mental capacity. Since we don’t grow up in a world where kinky, natural hair is as accepted as often as our “good hair,” loose ringlet-having sisters, we’re undervalued, looked down on and as a result, our confidence shrinks.

Have you found yourself frustrated because your natural hair journey hasn’t gone picture perfect like you thought it would?

Or are you upset that your hair texture wasn’t what you thought it would be?

Having curly hair can be tough — and sometimes it seems even more difficult when you have a coily texture. However, it is your hair texture and no one else’s, so embrace it! Despite the world attempting to bring us down, we must continue to uplift one another and our little girls, showing hair brands why it should be looked at with as much value as anyone else’s strands.

Sure, we may have a tougher time combing our locks and retaining moisture, but our hair does everything that our sisters with 3a, 3b or 3c hair does. We can rock a mean wash-and-go, fierce twist-out, beautiful braid-out and any other updo style our creative heart’s desire.

We deserve the love and respect just as much as anyone else, because we are worthy and we represent the lives and realities of many women of color. I need you to know this, and live it.

So the next time you doubt your hair texture, feel like you cannot rock that style because it did not turn out as well as your favorite blogger or Instagram role model, shove those negative thoughts away.

Know you are setting an example for everyone in the type 4, coily and kinky natural hair community by embracing your own texture. The day you wear that style you thought was a disaster, you will inspire and encourage other women to do the same; that is what I hope to do every single day on my blog, ClassyCurlies.com.

Sure, the natural hair community is great for discovering new hair products and styles, but if you do not feel accepted, represented or confident in your natural beauty, everything falls to the wayside. Be confident in who you are, what you have and what you represent.

If no one has told you today: you matter.

Your hair is gorgeous and you have a brilliant mind that could change the world.

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