Lady with curly hair with a finger over her lips

“I don’t like when people try to steal my swag.” Is that right? It is safe to say that this generations, and particularly women, take competing to a whole new level. On countless occasions, I have had friends send me links to online stores or take me to delicious hole in the wall restaurants and say “Don’t tell anybody.” Every time I ask why, the response is either “I don’t want anyone to dress like me” or there is no response at all. Lately, I been hearing a lot about naturals with the same mentality.

Most naturals acquire their hair care information and styling techniques from other naturals. Whether it was a blog or YouTube, most women grabbed onto someone else’s coattail, so I am always perplexed when people hesitate to share their tricks of the trade.

I will say that my experience in the natural hair community has been very pleasant, but I am not going to act like I have not heard stories. After discussing this with a dear friend, she exclaimed, “Finally somebody is going to write about this!” She shared that some, but not all, women will skip an important element of their regimen so that you will not produce the same quality of results, if any at all.

Have you ever had a conversation about hair care similar to below:

Natural A: “Hey girl! Your hair is so cute! What is your regimen?”

Natural B: “Girl, I just threw some water on it!”

Natural A: “Oh…ok…but what products do you use?”

Natural B: ” I don’t even know. I just rub some stuff on it.”

Natural A: *insert black stare*

Come on ladies. We have to continue to uplift each other. I’m not sure who the innovator of the twist out is, but I’m thankful to them and more than happy to discuss my tips with someone else. In regards to products, to purposely not share and raise product awareness does not help the hair care companies do well. I know you may not be thinking that deep, but why deny others the opportunity to support the company? Failing to share products also gives the inclination that your dollars are the only ones keeping the company afloat *insert side eye* which we all know is not true.

I’m not sure why some people feel the need to be so guarded, but why not have fun assuming, right?

My Theory

For some odd reason, when some women are asked about their hair care regimen, it translates to, “I plan to take your identity, steal your man and the essence of who you are! Kill! Steal! Destroy!” *shaking my head* Purposely failing to share hair care tips and products is just foolishness. No two curls are alike, and I doubt that people will constantly get you confused with another natural just because you both use Bee Mine Curly Butter on your braid outs. These stories always tickle even though I know some women are be deeply offended by the lack of support. Let’s continue to help one another. No one got anywhere by themselves and there is always a blessings in helping others, whether you realize it or not.

Have you ever asked someone how they achieved that not so effortless curl definition, and their response was, “I just ran some water over it”? What has your experience been?