Reject-proof ways to put yourself out there. They won't know what hit 'em.
As single women, it’s not always easy to go after what you want, to put yourself out there without fearing the possibility of rejection or coming across as desperate. Here are my tried-and-true, reject-proof ways to covertly pick up men. Trust me, they won’t know what hit ‘em.
1. "Digital Underground"
This tactic is guaranteed to not only get him to take your number but also get his digits. This requires an over-sized, seemingly disorganized-looking purse or bag and can pretty much be used anywhere. I inadvertently stumbled upon this maneuver on a flight home to Texas. I was on a crowded airplane, and during the hustle and bustle of stowing my luggage and getting settled in my seat, came to discover I no longer had my cell phone. In a panic, I turned to the guy in the seat behind me, explained the situation and asked if he could call my phone so I could try to find it. Gave him my digits and had him make the call.
As soon as I heard my phone start ringing I immediately realized what had just transpired and the new “super power” I now possessed of being able to give hot guys my number while simultaneously obtaining theirs. Turned out my cell was in my purse. We shared a laugh, chatted before take-off and ended up going out for a first date later that weekend as he conveniently had my digits and ended up “text” asking me out.
2. "The Bend Sans Snap"
This would end up being my biggest take-away from the movie "Legally Blonde" years after the fact, but I must say it is one of the most effective ways to initiate a conversation with a guy you’re interested in. It’s especially effective to use at a party. The first time I attempted it was on a dare at a party, my “gay husband” dared me to do the “bend and snap” to get the attention of a hot guy. I said “fine,” strutted by him and dropped my clutch, practically on his foot. I seductively bent down, arched my back while picking it up... and before I could even manage a snap, he asked if I had lead in my purse. Thirty minutes later into a conversation with this guy, I realized that there was really something to this whole “bend and snap” thing.
Necessity is the mother of invention, right? Get inventive!
I’ve since done it with car keys, lipstick and even towels at the gym. Cell phones work really well, because sometimes your phone will fall apart upon hitting the floor and that buys you more time with the guy as he tries to put it back together and even sympathy if he can’t fix it (Disclaimer: make sure it’s insured or this can quickly become costly). I’ve definitely done the “bend sans snap” without so much as even a glance from my target, but I’d say it works 75% of the time and the times it didn’t work I’m pretty sure the guys were non-breeders—or at least that’s what I tell myself to make it okay.
3. "Fly Me To The Moon"
I came to discover this technique riding the subway home from work. I was fixated on a super hot guy standing by the door, think Boris Kodjoe. I was looking him up and down and up and down, about to do a thrice over when I noticed his fly was totally down. I walked over to him and whispered, “your fly.” He of course was caught off guard, fumbling as he tried to quickly and discreetly zip it up. He kept thanking me for looking out for him and was so appreciative. We ended up chatting until my stop came, at which time he asked for my digits.
If only we were all so lucky to conveniently run into hot guys with their flies down. Desperate times call for desperate measures; you’ve got to create these “fly down” situations for yourself. If I see a cute guy in line or sitting at the bar now I’ll sometimes be like, “you’ve got something in your nose,” or “a little something on your mouth.” This totally makes the guy vulnerable and embarrassed as they start wiping their face and trying to get “it” off and it opens the door for them to talk to you. Keep in mind, this tactic works best if done "one on one" and discreetly. You’re probably not gonna win him over if you “out” him for the stain on his pants in front of the entire office.
4. "Be Direct, Ask For Directions"
It’s a well known fact; men love being the "experts." They also tend to eat up the whole damsel in distress routine, leading us to our fourth and final method for getting their attention. If I’m ever walking somewhere and see an attractive guy on the street I’ll walk up to him and say, “Excuse me, I’m totally lost, can you help me find insert made-up destination here?”
If a guy is interested in me, this will lead to an entire conversation where I will share how I’ve been directionally challenged my entire life, where I’m originally from, hell, I may even get him to drop what he’s doing entirely and escort me to my “destination.” At the end of the day, what’s the worst thing that can happen? If he’s not that "into" you, he’ll tell you where to go, you’ll ignore his directions and be on your merry way.