There's nothing more frustrating than being excited about cutting it all off or rocking your curls for the first time than negative parents. Have the rude comments and sarcasm become too much to bear? Then lend me an ear and I’ll tell you how to get even the most stubborn parents behind your big chop.
Consistency is Key
Now and Later
If you want to sell your parents on the big chop, you have to be consistent. If you ignore the comments and show them that you're resolute in your decision, then they'll take you seriously. Your parents are probably worried that you're simply following a fashion trend. They don't want you to do something drastic, and then spend the next year listening to you whine about your short hair until it grows back.
By sticking to your guns, you'll show your parents that your decision to go natural is both mature and well-thought out. Plus, if you can’t make up your mind, then your parents will do it for you, and their decision might not be one you like.
CurlyNikki's says: natural hair creates confidence! »
The big chop can be scary, but acceptance is part of the process! »
Prove Them Wrong
Nicely, of course!
Remember, while your parents' may not be that young, they're still impressionable. For too long they have been brainwashed by the media’s claim that straight hair is better, so it's up to you to educate them. Show them the beauty of natural hair. Many people still think that the only styles curly heads can pull off are afros and undefined puffy hair. While both styles are gorgeous, your parents will want to know that you will have more styling options come Monday morning. Guide them to some pictures of curly hair styles to show them the hundreds of great looks you can get with natural hair.
For stubborn parents who refuse to sit in front of the computer, trying out a few styles on yourself for them to see. When they ask about your new hair, just tell them you're practicing a few styles for when you get the big chop.
Three easy natural hair twists you can try tonight! »
Find more natural hairstyles on our YouTube Channel! »
Compromise to Win
Meet Them Half Way
With everything in life, there has to be some compromise. While you may want your hair big and free all the time, the people who have to sit behind you in church and movie theaters may not, and neither do your parents. Leave the drama for the weekends and school, and keep it pulled back, sleek and tamer for more formal situations. A little compromise can help dissipate the friction over your new hair.
Remember that while your parents may seem cruel, they're coming from a place of love. They may still remember the days when women were discriminated against for having curly hair and deemed unkempt. It's up to you to have patience with them. Even parents need a little guidance sometimes. Bring them up to speed with the 21st century where natural hair is not only accepted, but very much in fashion!
Hair matters, even at church! »
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Talk it Out
Parental Communication is SO Underrated
Finally, do the unthinkable: TALK TO YOUR PARENTS! This may seem like a foreign concept, but it just might work. If yelling and arguing isn't working (and it probably won't), try telling your parents why you want to do a big chop. Tell them about the harm that relaxers and flat irons have done to your hair. Inform them of the natural hair movement and the new information out there about caring for natural hair.
If you have problems saying what's on your mind, write out a little script for yourself and rehearse it before talking to your parents. If you really don’t want to have a long drawn out conversation, you can always write a letter.
While you're at it, let your stylist in on the new routine. »
Join the CurlTalk convo: Help with parents! »
Straight talk: how a college curly feels about variety. »
- In all that you do, be respectful.
- I'm not responsible for any groundings, loss of allowance and other privileges or any punishment that may result from your rudeness.
- And remember to always have love, peace and curly haired bliss.
Running low of curly hairstyles for the school year? Check out how you can rock a new 'do, today!