This is a very confusing topic dobbysgirl! Don't feel bad for posting. Here's what I would do, if I were going to choose a product.

Step 1. I would look at my hair. Hm... it looks like my waves are not clumped together, and are frizzing everywhere. I would like my waves to stick together and be defined.

Step 2. I need a curl defining product. Would I pick a butter? Um... well, my hair is medium-porosity 2c. A butter is very heavy, and would weigh down my waves and make them look a little oily. Puddings and custards also fall into this category, and often contain butters. I don't want that. I think I would go with either a creme, or a serum with some light leave-in conditioner underneath.

In real life: I have problems with dry ends, so after I put on my serum/creme, I may take a little pudding and scrunch it on the ends. The thickness of the butters in the pudding will keep my ends moist all throughout the day, yet still keep my waves separated and defined.

If you have very tight curls, and want curl definition but a bit of weight, you might choose a butter or a custard, like KCCC, which actually does elongate curls.

Hope this helped!