I don't have any advice to add to the excellent points already given. I just wanted to say I"m so sorry you're going through this, and I hope you can find some joy during your visit home. You're a grown woman, and you have the right to wear your hair any way you like. Maybe next year find a mohawk wig, and wear that

I've been through similar things with my mom with comments about my weight like when I got engaged she asked me if I planned to lose weight for my wedding...or when she gave me clothing she didn't wear she would say "these things are too big on me, they MIGHT fit you." I hate when people point out obvious things-do they think someone doesn't know they need to lose weight