I totally know what you're going through! I went through a nightmare jobhunt, and all my mom could tell me was that nobody would hire me because of my hair...only people with short, straight bobs get jobs, apparently! She also told me I don't have a boyfriend because men look at me and can't get past my hair. When we went out recently, I got stopped three times by random strangers complimenting my hair...and she had something snide to say every time..."it looks wet" "it's too long", etc. Everybody seems to love my hair but her!

I read this article the other night...

So I found this article:


It is normal to want love and approval from your mother. Everybody does. If you get it when you are young, you internalize those feelings and need less validation when you grow up.

But if you don’t get it, you tend to replay her harsh, critical words in your head: Your hair looks awful. You shouldn’t wear jeans. Did you gain weight?

And you internalize that nagging, hectoring voice, so it becomes your own criticism of yourself.