Your hair's not weird, I promise. I cannot plop. Ever. With anything. For any amount of time. I get those weird massive clumps like you're talking about, and it's flat at the roots and the curls have strange kinks in them... blech, no thank you.

And yes, there is such a thing as too much clumping. Ask whatsercurl too, I know she has the same issue. I typically diffuse my hair until its 100% dry, that's the only way I've found I can get consistent volume at the roots and less clumping overall so it doesn't look like I only have 4 GIGANTIC curls.
CG/Mod CG (soap bars) since 8/12/08
CO wash/Cond: Kathymack & Flowermoon Castille soap bars, V05 Chamomile Tea, Suave Ocean Breeze, Biolage Conditioning Balm
Styling loves: DIFFUSING! CK, KCNT, KCCC, FOTE (on dry hair only), Re:coil, Proclaim gel
Not sure about: Boots, Tweek, KBB Milk, DMHJ
HATE: plopping, FOTE on wet hair, BRHG