Here is an excerpt from my own personal "A-HA" moment. I hope it helps bring a bit of clarity to other wavies out there, for this "revelation" so to speak has certainly helped me (and my wallet). i have had to enlighten myself on some basic truths which i was chosing to ignore in my quest for the impossible.
I do not have curly hair. I do not have straight hair. I have wavy hair. My hair is not one singe texture uniformly around my head. My hair can be wavy, curly, stright, or any combination on any given day. My hair will absolutely be different in the evening from how it was in the morning, and afternoon. my hair is very responsive/sensitive to all external (and internal) factors. I do not need a curl enhancing product, i do not have curls. my wavy hair will sometimes curl up given the right circumstances, but not enough to warrant purchasing prodicts for a hair type that is not mine. I do not need straightening prodicts, serums, flatirons, curlers and the like. my hair is not straight and I will not wrestle it into sumbission & fry and bake it with hot ceramic styling tools trying to pretend that it is. I know that my hair tends to be dry so I need to treat it gently with nourishing sulfate free silicone free shampoos and good conditioners. A good leave in would be nice too. I don't need gel. Gel is for curls or straighties who blowdry. Gel does not allow hair to move and change, gel is designed to "hold in place" and create "memory" so curls will bounce back into shape or straight hair can be blown smooth. there is no chance in h&*$ that my hair can ever benefit from a product like gel for "memory" is useless in wavy hair..what exactly is there to "remember" anyway? My hair has never looked the same way twice! There is nothing to 'hold" in my hair because ther is no uniformity to it, it waves, curls, hangs straight, blows, changes, gets played with, twirled in fingers, coated in pb&j & baby kisses and put up in a bun or ponytail countless times a day, why would this hair need hold? I do need frizz control. I need soft, hold-free definition. that's it. great gentle shampoo & conditioner, a good deep treatment, a light leave in and a good hold- free styler. My hair is not a looser form of curly hair, it does not have any of the charecteristics of curly hair (except the tendency to be dry). my hair is not straight hair with 'body", it does not have any of the charecteristics of straight hair. My hair is wavy. Wavy IS it's own hair type. There are different degrees of waviness, just like with curly hair. Wavy hair is sexy, contantly having a loose "tousled" look. wavies get awesome 'beach hair" (even though we need to de a good deep treat after!). Wavy hair is bouncy, shiny, swingy, touchable (or it should be) and fun. I love my waves and would not trade them for any other hair type. Now that I have come to accept them, stopped abusing them with layers of product and just let them be what they are, I am completely happy. (well, 99.9% happy, if i could just find a styling product with frizz control, defitition & no cones I would be 100%)
"It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got"