When I got divorced, my ex told all kinds of outrageous things about me to anyone who would listen. Apparently I was the town trollop (can I say trollop here?).

I've always joked that if I'd done even half the things he accused me of, I would have been one very happy lady!

When I was in high school, a boy and I broke up and a few days later, some boys in the locker room started asking him for "details" about me. He was bragging and boasting about all the things he had done with me which NONE was true.

I should have known something was up when I was suddenly getting asked out by all the guys on the football team. I only heard about it because one of the players was a good friend and he let me know what the former boyfriend was saying. Poor thing, I pretty much set the record straight in between classes in the hallway and embarrassed him.

As a side note, this same idiot called me a few years ago because he'd just gotten divorced and had been "thinking about me." Yeah, after 30 years. Idiot.

I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.