I'm sitting here shopping for a stun gun and pepper spray. I want the pepper spray cause it's attached to a key ring, but I want the stun gun because I want to inflict as much pain as possible.

I got really spooked last night when someone was reversing toward me for no apparent reason and again today when someone rang my doorbell but left no note or anything. After my little incident last month, can't be too careful.
I ain't thirsty. There's plenty of fish in the sea, but I don't want all of them, can I have some standards? Or do we just have to settle, for someone's who meh and will do.