I haven't DC'd in months and my hair doesn't seem to miss it at all.

OP, I think that you need to get your hair wet more often. Personally, I shampoo once every 1/2 weeks...but even if you're not cleansing you may want to try co-washing or rinsing more. Water is the best moisturizer.

What are you sealing your QB Amla with? For me, the QB Burdock is for moisture only--I have to lock that in with an oil for my hair to really get the benefits. Maybe the Amla is the same.

Other than that...it sounds like you should work on the way you view your hair...what you expect it to do. I know A LOT of people (I used to be one) who "PS" to protect their delicate sensibilities rather than their actual hair. Loose, big natural hair isn't easily tamed...you can't really lasso it into a semblance of "relaxation". The fact that you've realized why you were PSing is a good start How's that saying go? The first step to recovery is acknowledgment? Bon courage!